Everytime I get to the point where I've been cautious, and I decide to open up a little bit, it doesn't work out. Not to say that I expect every dating relationship to work out, I'm just tired of getting disappointed. I'm starting to feel like I'll never settle down. Ugh! So jaded!
2006-09-12 15:10:02 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
LMAO hard @ the answers. Thanks, Y!A family, for making me laugh!
2006-09-12 16:01:59 · update #1
I totally understand. I really do. My girlfriends and I talk about this subject often. All of us are professional attractive women, who make good money, and have our independence, no children. We have came to the conclusion, that it is all about timing. It really is. We realized, that if a guy asks you out, it's because he is attracted to you. However, you never know what someone else is thinking until you go out for awhile. Meaning..he may have just broken up with someone, and he isn't ready. Maybe he is just looking for fun, (sex) and nothing serious. I guess, my best advice, is to look for all the signs that he isn't ready. If he is not calling often the he isn't ready, or he isn't spending the majority of his weekend with you then he probably isn't ready. I say.. just take it slower than you have been. Make yourself not as available. Guys love a challenge. The like to be the ones who hunt. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From the single hotties who know where you are in the single life.
2006-09-12 15:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by junebug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep looking but also examine the places that you're looking and try and figure out what's really important to you. While you obviously need a sexual attraction, you need to sustain the relationship with sharing similar interests and values. Don't expect perfection. In the old days families arranged marriages. They probably lasted much longer than the ones today. It simply says that you can learn to love someone if you find them as a friend first. The web is a great starter point but keep your eyes open around you. There are millions we can be compatible with. Take your time but don't look for a saint and a model.
2006-09-12 15:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the answer is just too easy. You're not looking for decent guys. You just sound like every other girl that loves to date jerks. You've already found plenty of decent guys. You call them friends. You tell them they're like a brother to you. You shut them down and never give them a chance because you prefer to date jerks.
The same goes for all you other girls claiming guys are jerks. You probably have a close male "FRIEND" that is crazy about you. Naturally, you ignore him. Any halfway decent looking women has her pick of different guys to date. Don't blame guys, it's women making the choices.
2006-09-12 15:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by taskr36 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the culture that men grow up in encourages callousness and apathy toward others' feelings. That culture also encourages an emotional disconnect inside.... I'm not excusing how they act, just saying that's a HUGE factor.
They're told things like, "be tough- real men don't cry," "Don't be such a baby," and they're called sissies for considering others' feelings.
Keep working at it. Keep your standards high. Don't compromise. You'll eventually find a guy that's not a jerk... Yes, there are some out there.
2006-09-12 15:19:06 · answer #4 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, it doesn't get any easier. The best way I have found to go about this is to stop looking for a romance. Look for your best guy friend. When I finally met a girl that I wanted for my best friend, we are very compatible. And we have similar views on making a friendship work first.
Just keep your chin up, maintain a positive attitude, and meet as many people as you want. the more you meet, the better your chance of meeting that special one will be. Most of the time it is when you aren't looking for something that you find it. Remove your attention from the search for the perfect guy and maybe you will find that he is right in front of you.
Good luck!
2006-09-12 15:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by Ben 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shrug, you're probably looking in the wrong places. Try a new dating venue. I don't know what you like, but whatever you're doing now clearly isn't working, so try something new.
That's the probable answer anyway. Alternatively, maybe you have deepset psychological problems which make it difficult, if not impossible to commit to a relationship, in which case you're screwed. But hey, that's probably not true, right?
To tell the truth, I'm leery of dating older women because of the jadedness factor. When people start going into relationships with the expectation of failure, it's kind of scary.
2006-09-12 15:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sinai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. It's hard to find someone that is right for you. Being a woman, you know it's hard to find a pair of shoes or pants that you absolutely love, in the color that you want, the material that you want it made out of, the style AND the size that fits you all available. Well, a man that is right for you is even harder BUT it's not impossible. It does take time. Just make sure that you aren't looking in all the wrong places....ie, bars, clubs, etc. The best thing to do is to live your life happy with being by yourself but available to options of having someone in your life. This way you are sending out positive "vibes" like "I'm happy being me and being with myself but should you want to pursue me I'm not unavailable but will not go out of my way to change myself for you" vibes. That's positive and attractive. That why most people find someone when they are not looking for someone. I hope that this makes sense for you. That decent guy will come along; just be patient and content with who you are. Best wishes and take care.
2006-09-12 15:17:30 · answer #7 · answered by mothergoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are opening up to them too soon and it scares them away. Be careful with what you say when you first start dating someone. Opening up to someone is a good thing, but you really have to know when it's a really a good time or a right time to do so, I'd say stop trying to find love and let love find you, trust me that works. Good luck!
2006-09-12 15:22:09 · answer #8 · answered by no1charmerlondon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why so damned hard for me to find a decent guy?
Because there are so damn few of them left.
2006-09-12 15:12:46 · answer #9 · answered by dropkickchick 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Decide what is more important: find a good guy or stay disappointed. Knowing what you want helps.
On a piece of paper write down the details of your ideal guy.
You can change it every day if you want. The important thing is to write it down. This is a declaration to the Universe.
Once you burn it into your brain, your subconscious will take over and guide you to the right guy. Good luck.
2006-09-12 15:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by flugelberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋