Re-post--I accidentally deleted my last question...?

Question

My daughter asked if he could get a parental advisory cd today. She understands the reason between right and wrong. I don't know if I should start buying them for him. She is only eleven. I told her to wait until she is a thirteen and she got really upset. I understand she would like these CDs and really don't see reason behind not getting them for her. Would it be okay if I listened to them first and if I liked or approved of the content give them to her? Would I be concidered a "bad parent" for letting her listen to these CDs...or get into any legal problems? Thank you for your responses!

She is interested in these bands: Slipnot (???), Korn, Marilyn Manson, Simple Plan, M&M (???), System of a Down (???), John Lennon, Christina Agularia, and some panic band. I don't know who many of these people are. She seems to be going through this phase where she wears all black, is that normal? I guess I'm clueless when it comes to "cool" things.

Answer 1

It really depends on the content of the music not the Parental advisory on it. For example, I am pretty sure you are aware that your daughter all ready hears swears every day in school. It the content that is used in this.

For example Pink's song, 18 wheeler, a song about woman empowerment and the refusal to let men abuse you has the line "You can run over me with your 18 wheeler but I won't give a f*ck" since the song has a positive meaning . However, some bands like Eminem (not M&M) will have lyrics like "Shot a police man, f*ck civil protection" (I'm not sure on this lyric but it from the song Murder, Murder).

To avoid having to listen to music you probably won't like, go to a site such as http://lyricsbox.com to read the lyrics of the songs on the CD's she wants to get.

The wearing all black thing is stereotypically attributed to Gothic culture. However based on her music she is either a metal head, or what actual gothic people refer to as "Mansonites" people who listen to Marilyn Manson believing he is goth and thus try and be goth themselves. I doubt with her music taste and age she is goth, so no worries. (BTW, a goth is "person who is obsessed with morbidity and sees darkness as a beauty")

Oh there are no legal issues with Parental Advisory CD's, and as long as the subjects addressed in her music aren't negative (such as encouraging murder, orgies, drugs, suicide) then no one will think you are a bad Mom. Good luck and I hope that I helped!

Answer 2

Simple Plan, John Lennon, Christina Agularia, and Panic! At the Disco are all pretty harmless.
You might want to take a listen to the other CD's before you allow your daughter to have them.
In all, it really boils down to whether or not you're comfortable with letting her purchase the CD's.
In reality, she could probably get them burnt somewhere.
You wouldn't be a bad parent, and you can't get into any legal trouble.
Talk with her, find out why its so important for her to have the PA version of these CDs (as most of them come in "clean" versions as well)
Your daughter will go through lots of phases. Wearing black is not abnormal.
Keep the communication open.
Best of luck.

Answer 3

I'd let her have the John Lennon, Christina aguilera cd's. Wal-mart also sells cd's that are censored, so you could get the other bands from there, or you could listen to them and see what you think. I know some of those bands especially Marilyn Manson, Eminem, Korn, Slipknot, do have some not so good lyrics. I don't think there is anything wrong with you listening to them and then deciding. But 11 seems a little young for the latter bands.

Answer 4

All black at 11 isn't cool. Marilyn Manson is not appropriate for 11 or 13 for that matter. As far as Simple Plan , John Lennon or Chritina Agulara they should be fine. Just listen to it first. Eminem is not appropriate.
Maybe you should subscribe to something online like Yahoo Music. It is like 6.99 a month and you could pre screen anything she wants then pay .79 cents to burn the songs onto a CD if you dont think the entire CD is appropriate. Even if you don't burn them you could listen to what she wants before purchasing it.

Answer 5

Check with a local music store. My daughter was a fanatic about Eminem and I knew how vulgar a lot of his songs were so we got the sensored version, she still got to listen to the music but tamed down a little. Some of the artist you listed (John Lennon) I would go ahead and get. I agree we need to pay attention to what kids are doing and all of that but I also try to remind myself that if they had ratings on music when I was a kid half of what I listened to would have been banned but I still got to get it. Another solution would be to download some of the less obscene songs and make a cd of her own with a mix of the music, you can listen as she goes through it and select what can and cant be on the cd.

Answer 6

I would listen to each song of every cd before I let her listen to them. There are a couple on your list that could cause major problems for you.
Sounds like she may be going through a gothic stage and from what I understand sometimes they are called devil worshipers....and some of the singers you have listed suggest such things.
Be careful, be alert, and be a part of her life its a tough job being a parent but if you arent consistant in your beliefs and what you expect of your children you could be asking for trouble.

Answer 7

OMG! No way would I allow my child to listen to that. I don't care if he considered me cool or not cool as long as he knows I'm the mother & hes the child. That's what parents are for...to teach our kids...as for wearing all black...wouldn't be permitted in this house. No I don't think it's normal. I think it's a warning sign.
Kids aren't supposed to play the parent role. If she gets really upset that you wont let her listen to that kind of music & throws a fit then ground her for her attitude. I went through this earlier this year. My son wanted to listen to rap. I finally gave in & allow him to buy some cds as long as me or his dad ok it & it has to have the bad words sensored & no crap about killing or anything like that. I tell him he's more than welcome to throw a fit if he disagrees with my decision...he can have his fit on the way to the car "without" the cd. My decision is the final one, not his because I am his parent & I know what's best for him. Best of luck. Just use more authority. You can't get in legal trouble for telling your child no and grounding them.

Answer 8

It depends on if you want her listening to music that has a lot of swearing in it. I would not let my son listen to Marilyn Manson, Eminem, or Slipknot. Those are not appropriate. John Lennon or Christina Aguilara I would not have a problem with.

Answer 9

I recently constructed what I thought to be a delightful little troll question. It took several different re-wordings and over 60 points to post it. Sadly only 5 or 6 people answered ;-( Them's the breaks, some key words are flagged and questions automatically rejected.... surprisingly working in the word "troll" in your question flags it to the R&S Section.

Answer 10

M&M -- probably you mean Eminem, the rapper (or hip-hop artist if you prefer). I think Slipknot is spelled with a "k" in ther but not 100% sure. Christina Aguilera is I think the spelling you are looking for (web search will correct you if not).

A lot of these bands/atrists you are probably going to be rather unhappy with -- they have some rather disturbing imagery, messages, and language. Especially for an 11 year old.

But it can be a good bonding and growth opportunity, a chance to explain WHY these albums are labelled "Parental Advisory". You may want to find out which exact album she wants, then look up the track titles that are on it and then search for "[artist] [song] lyrics" on the web (for example, "John Denver Rocky Mountian High Lyrics" to find the lyrics to John Denver's song "Rocky Mountain High"). That will prepare you for a bit of what she is about to be exposed to (and I doubt you'll like it, but realistically she will probably hear it on a friend's MP3 player so you might as well be ready to discuss it calmly rather than reactively).

The dressing in all black may be an interest in the "Goth" scene, but these bands are not really that aligned with the goth scene (some are, others definitely not). It seems like she just has very ecclectic tastes in terms of modern music -- not surprising, she is coming into that age where she is trying to figure out who she is and what she likes, and the influences of friends and especially older kids (who most of this music is targetted at) are very important to her. Make sure you are one of those friends.

Just the fact that you are concerned tells me you are a good parent. Heck, I wish my parents had been interested enough in what I was listening to that they would have discussed it with me -- all *I* got was "Turn that $#!+ DOWN!" ;)

You can't get into trouble for buying her these albims, but the record store can get into trouble for selling them directly to her without your approval (not that it will ever be enforced, but theoretically) -- as her parent, it is your legal right to decide what she can and cannot listen to. Remember, you are the adult with real-world experience. She is the child who THINKS she knows how to handle the world but hasn't yet seen a tiny fraction of what it can throw at her. What she chooses to listen to WILL in time identify her with one group of kids or another. You need to help her understand why some choices will be better or worse for her than others, but above all be there for her. She'll make a few mistakes (didn't we all?). Just help her make sure they are little mistakes, not great big ones with lifelong consequences. You can't force her to like one thing and not like another, but you can help influence her.

God bless!