Are there any real men on here?

Question

I am a Christian man. I know how to treat and respect a woman. My wife and I have a great relationship in many ways. I just don't know how to make "love" to her, but I know how to "love" her. Does any man on here feel the same way I do, or do most of you treat women like objects?

Answer 1

I am confused by what you are trying to say in this question. When I first read it, I understood you to say that you know how to make love to your wife as well as love her. Then I read my husband's answer and wondered, "Does Billy F really not know how to make love to his wife? Surely he can't be asking that!" If you know how to love her, then you ought to know how to make love to her. At any rate, my husband is a real man. He knows how to love me and make me feel loved. If he ever treated me like an object he'd be one very sorry man!

Answer 2

I am a real man. The details you list with the question can be misunderstood. Referring to sexual matters in this forum is not a good idea. I am also a married Christian. I can direct you to some books written from a Biblical perspective. There are other books, but these are a really good start. "Love life for every married couple" by Ed Wheat, M. D. and Gloria Okes Perkins, and "Intended for Pleasure" by Ed Wheat, M. D. and Gaye Wheat, and "The Act of Marriage" by Tim and Beverly LaHaye, and "A Celebration of Sex" by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau.
I doubt that you have any question regarding the physical/mechanical aspect of sex. The emotional and spiritual aspects of sex are more difficult to grasp, but not impossible. The idea is that sex is not just an act of pleasure. Sex is also an expression of love. It is also as much a woman's responsibility as it is a man's though obviously in a different way. Women tend to respond to the man. Thus, you need to actively nurture your relationship with your wife. The act of marriage begins long before entering the bedroom. It starts in the morning with tender affections, words, and prayer together. It continues with every available moment. Let your hand brush against hers. Hold hands often. Hug, snuggle, and listen. Love continues in the dinner conversation. Praise her good works. Let her know that she is appreciated. Praise her in public though not in a manner which will embarrass her. Give her brief notes, or better yet let her find the notes around the house. Spend less time on the computer. Or spend time with her at the computer. Let her be involved in what you do. Get involved in her interests. Spend time doing things together. My wife is with me as I type. It takes planning and effort. Having done these and read the books, the act of marriage, sex, will take on different dimensions for both of you. Don't worry; you will still enjoy some wild abandon along with the tender times. Read the books with your wife. Pray together. Rise and go to bed together. There is more, but I better just leave you to the books. Wishing you well and no ill.

Answer 3

Billy,

Your a good lad for asking for help. I am a Christian male also. I have had a little experience, but can give you a few tips on what to do.

1st - Making love is more than sex!! it is the entire process!! Sometimes it will be quick, but make sure at least once or twice a week, you make time to get to know her intimately. this is something only the two of you share, it should be special. take your time, make sure you try new things.

2nd - follow up the next day with a little Q&A, be honest with her and let her know that you want to be a better "lover" for her, at first she might snicker and you can do it as a loke at first, but let her knwo you are serious also!!

3rd - let her please you. Woman also share the same feelings and insercirties as you do. They want to know and feel just as confident in the love making process as you do. Don't be afraid to tell her what you like and when she does something great, the more confidence you can provide her, the more aggressive and exploritive she will become.

I hope this helps, ,I did not want to get too graphic because this is public, but you can email me for specifics...Take care my man!!

GB

Answer 4

What a great question. Don't pay attention to the people who confused "making love" and sex. I know what you mean. Women love romance, and for most men, that is something we have to work at. You make love to her by respecting her, telling her you care, gently touching her shoulder as you pass in the kitchen. Get a small pad of paper and leave an occassional note on her windshield. Something like,
In case you were wondering, I am thinking of you. Something simple and subtle like that. There doesn't have to be a bunch of grand gestures. Its in the little things you do every day that says "I love you" to a woman. You have the concept right there buddy, it is "Making love" to her. It is something you have to make. It requires effort on your part. Pay attention to the details. I will share with you my best response ever. My wife asked me- If you could change one thing about me, what would it be? I told her, I would help give you the ability to see yourself the way I see you so you would know how wonderful I think you are. The fact is, I meant it. Feel free to hit me up in the email if you want more ideas. But the bottom line is, be in love with her every moment of every day. She is one of God's great gifts to you, and that is a position that demands a certain amount of humility and respect. You honor God in the love you give to her. Just the fact that you asked this question tells me your heart is in the right place.

Answer 5

I know how to treat and respect a woman too but man get with it...try something different, use you imagination, get creative...there are stores and books and I know you won't want to watch (cause of being christian and all) but DVDs...she is your wife there is nothing that says in the bible you can't have fun while TRYING to please your wife. You don't have to treat her like an object either, and there is nothing wrong with talking to her about it either...find out what she likes or wants to try; don't be embarrassed to tell her what you want either (women tend to be nastier than you can imagine). So hope that helps not gonna tell you how necessarily...but get it together, like I said try something new.

Answer 6

I'm glad you love your wife so much, thats a really nice thing. I'm sorry you have the other problem but sex is far from everything....right? I can assure you that i know how to treat a lady,...in normal everyday settings,...on the street,..and for sure in the bedroom. It takes a real man to care about treating a lady right,...your a good man....keep up the good work dude.

Answer 7

NO SIR:........I feel like you do. After I returned from the military, my study of the opposite sex began. I would say, American men should visit other country's and see how women are treated, actually by other country's I mean on the other side of the planet, you wouldn't notice any real differences until you seen certain parts of Europe, the Balkans, the middle East, China,those who practice the old way in Japan. Getting just a glimpse of their ways really got me started. The thing I learned early on, was how much I didn't know, these fascinating creatures have been right next to us............we don't know as much about them as we think we do.Thanks for your question and your statement Sir...LATER

Answer 8

There is a real big difference between make love to the woman that you love and just having sex.
I have never had sex but I have made love to my wife of 19 years many times

Answer 9

It is very simple man women want to be respected and loved, but in the bedroom they want to get banged good and hard, maybe treated like a slut--not always but alot!! Eat her out good, screw her good!! Better than good and try all kinds of stuff and treat her like it was the last time you would ever have the chance to get any. She will love you for it!

Answer 10

My man is awesome - treats me like a woman with lots of respect.... couldnt ask for more.... we make love and have sex..... they are different... when we are making love its much more sensual.... more kissing, holding, touching, whispering sweet nothings... basically not just in it for the end result..... lots of eye contact.....