My mom is treating my like I'm three but I'm really 16. She is trying to control everything I do. She doesn't want me to see my boyfriend, she wants me to work everyday and go to school, then do my homework and housework. She has even tried to take away my car that I payed for. I want to know why she does this and how can I stop her from doing it as much.
2006-09-12 14:00:16 · 18 answers · asked by sherrlulu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds to me like your mom really loves you and wants to keep you safe at all costs. But that doesn't make it any easier!
I can't speak for your mother, but to me, it sounds like she doesn't want you to see your boyfriend because she's worried about what might happen. Her worries are probably for nothing; you seem like a very responsible young lady. But it is in the nature of a mother to worry about her child, no matter how old that child is. (I'm 28 years old and married, but to my mother, I'm always that little baby she used to rock to sleep.) Perhaps you could talk to you mother and assure her that she has absolutely nothing to worry about. See if she will agree to a compromise.
As for working everyday, going to school, doing homework and then doing housework, it sounds like she just wants you prepared for life as an adult. Still, you have two years to go and should be able to enjoy this time to the fullest before you turn 18. (At least, that's what I think.) Again, see if your mom will agree to compromise. Work, school, homework and housework is a lot for one person to do all in one day! Even most adults don't have to do that much.
I hope you can work out an understanding with your mom. It truly does sound like she loves you more than anything and has what she perceives to be your best interests at heart.
2006-09-12 14:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by Avie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only two reason i can think of your mom treating you the way she do , because either she is want to see how responsible you really are or because she knows what she is talking about and don't want you do the same as she did when she was your age. I forgot the third reason she probaly also being over protective of you because she wants you to have your education done take care of home do your homework, do everything a 16 year old do and then you can have your own life , She isn't saying you cant have a boyfriend but long as you live in her house you have to bide by her rules and you are her daughter!!
2006-09-12 21:12:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow there are a lot of issues here,
Let's start with why she tried to take away your car?
Once you have that answer then we can work on the others.
How are you doing in school? Is this the cause of the worry about school and getting your homework done?
Is work necessary? Or do you do it for your own income only?
I know you want to spend more time with your boyfriend and that is natural but what are you long term goals for your life?
Do you know what you want to be? Do you have a plan to achieve that goal? Does your mother know any of this and can you show her that not only are you aiming for something but that you have the tools already in place to achieve it? Does your boyfriend have goals? Is that what might be worrying your Mother? See your question really needs more questions than answers at this point. But you can answer them yourself. Just put them all down on paper. See if they bring up more questions and then set about answering them for yourself. If your answers are true and your Mother can see that then you should be able to sit down with them and talk to her about it.
Good luck
2006-09-12 21:10:06 · answer #3 · answered by Queen Fromage 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents like that feeling of control, I don't understand why, but that might be because I am not a parent myself, Even at the age of nineteen today, my parents still believe that they have the right to tell me what to do!, But the thing is that we sadly have to tough it out, we really don't have an opionion until we turn 18 and then once that day happens we have an opinion over them, but we don't have an opionion over something else, You see I wanted to go live with my gf who lived 2,000 miles away and the "Parents" told me I couldn't do it, Well I was 17 and I knew that in one year I could surpass them and tell them "This is my life now, You have had the past 18 years to put your rules into my head and now I have the right to have my own rules along with some smart rules that you have given me along the way, I know it may seem hard to keep your mouth shut in these situations but wait until that day you can turn and be against them and actually win!, But until then sit down with your mother and try to show her you, not that person that us teenagers like to hide behind, show her how you feel, Now I am not saying to yell or put her down, just tell her that her baby has grown up and life will go on even though she takes control now, Just tell her that you love her and how it means to know that she is your mother, Thats all I can say about that....
2006-09-12 21:09:14 · answer #4 · answered by E.F. Landeros 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Such a hard question, sometimes Mom just aren't logical and some Moms don't care and some Moms are self centered.
Some moms just want to help their children balance their lives, learn moderation and they know they only have a year or two left with their kids. Try to cram as much stuff at the kids as possible.
Let me answer your question with a question. Do you think that your mom loves you and that she has your best interest at heart?
If that small voice tells you yes, you need to try and respect her and find out the reason she is doing some of these things.
These can be tuff times I wish you both the best
2006-09-12 21:07:56 · answer #5 · answered by freemansfox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 21 before I dated and 23 before I had a boyfriend, and 35 when I got my first car. Sounds like you're moving too fast at 16. Your Mom wants what's best for you, wants you to get a good education and a good full time job and work experience and savings before you get pregnant and have boyfriends that will slow your progress. She knows it will be harder for you over the years than it was for her. How can you stop her from doing it as much? Understand what she's saying to you, and comply.
2006-09-12 21:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by sophieb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's trying her hardest to be a responsible, caring mother. Why don't you try being a responsible, caring, respectful daughter and realize the world doesn't spin around you. Your mom has been around long enough to know how the world works and she's trying to prepare you for the responsibilty of being an adult. You are the one acting to immature to handle it. In 2 short years you will be 18 and a legal adult, then what are you going to do? Can't act like a little kid forever.
2006-09-12 21:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by dlobryan1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's your mom she only wants to know you'll be ok in the real world. But she does need a fine line that she can't cross. Sit her down at the table and talk to her face to face. First get you troubles and concerns, and don't let her intrupte, then let her speak. She has to understnad that your old enought to make some choices. But also remember she is still your mother and until your 18 she still has a say.
2006-09-12 21:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is hiding that she feels like she is losing you. It doesn't make any sense to try to take away your car when you need it to do half of the stuff that she wants you to do. My mom isn't quite as controlling, but I am 20 and sometimes I feel that she is also treating me like a child - I just really think that a lot of it has to do with "empty nest syndrome." You just really need to have a sit-down conversation with her to find out what's up. Don't be angry, just talk and listen.
2006-09-12 21:07:03 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you the only child or the first born????? Sounds like Mom is having a hard time letting go of her baby. I wish I could help you,but at this point I can't.
2006-09-12 21:05:02 · answer #10 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋