Should I tell my Christian parents that I'm Pagan?

Question

I'm 16 yrs old, so I still live with my parents. I really want to tell them because I feel as if I'm lying. However, I'm afraid that they may not accept it and that they may make my life hard for me if they knew. I've tried dropping hints to them, but I don't think they realize that I'm Pagan.

I've tried being Christian, but it never felt right to me. It seems that I've always had different beliefs than them and paganism just feels right. I'm not afraid to tell most people that I'm Pagan, but when it comes to my parents I'm just afraid of how they'll react.

If I don't tell them now, I plan on telling them after I've moved out. I just want to know if anyone has any advice to share.

Answer 1

i say it's always best to be honest about stuff like that with the loved ones in our lives. without honesty, they don't really know you and you don't really know them, and that's not really a relationship of any kind, just pretense and politeness. if i were you i would tell them, but i would be careful to think through how you're going to explain to them what's going on in your life. approach them by letting them know that you want them to know the real you and that you want to be real with them, even when you differ with each other. affirm that you love them. show them respect.
and be prepared for them to have a bit of a difficult time of it, at first. but them having to accustom themselves to this doesn't mean they don't love or accept you. sometimes we need time to process and know how to act.
of course, i don't know your parents, but if they're anything like mine, mine would want me to be honest, regardless. anything else can be worked through. but if there's no honesty, you've got nowhere to go in a relationship.

Answer 2

Unless you are telling them that you are Christian, you are not lying. Why should you tell them right now? They will probably be upset, disappointed, and confused. Why do it while you are still living in their home and have them reminded of their heartbreak every time they see you?

I changed religion at 30 years old, and my parents still had a very hard time accepting my beliefs. They still love me, but they just don't feel comfortable around me. In my opinion, it is much better to NOT discuss your beliefs as long as you are in their house. (But there is absolutely no need to lie either - if they ask you about Christianity, just tell them you are not 100% convinced, and need more time to consider/study.)

Answer 3

im in the same situation, except i am 19 and my whole family is christian, including my grandfather who is a preacher. i cant tell any of them yet. my mom just had a stroke and i am living with my dad while i am in college. when i got my nose pierced my mom disowned me for 2 days straight-im too scared for her health. i dont want to have tension between my father and myself.

basically, you should wait until the time is right. paganism/wicca is not accepted by very many people in some places. president bush does not aknowledge wicca as a religion-he made an address on it-something about the military issues right now. that doesnt help the situation any.

also, it depends on how open minded your family is. if you would like to chat with me, you could instant message or email me.

good luck to you. blessed be.

Answer 4

You have a lot of time to be just who you are. There is no hurry to label yourself. You might though let your parents know that you are exploring the pagan ideology. That way, you are up front, can change your mind if you want and if they find something they won't think you are hiding it or going stupid on them. Parents worry about a lot of things and I think if you share what you are doing and thinking about things the open line of communication will help everyone be accepting. But remember, you don't have to label yourself. At 16 there are a lot of years to refine who and what you are. No sense limiting yourself.

Answer 5

I think that you should tell your parents that you are Pagan because they are your parents and they should love you no matter what. But I dont think that you should tell your friends unless they have been your friends for a long time because they might not reach the same way and judge you the wrong way.

Answer 6

Well being honest to yourself is important.
I do not know your parents and I do know some hardcore Christians that would go to extremes to bring you back into the fold. I wish I could say pray about it BUT..hee hee that would not work...lol
I keep coming back to honesty and truth to yourself without that you are really not living an authentic life.
And every time you pretend to be a Christian you are mocking their beliefs and if you respect them as you want them to respect you then that is not fair.
Tell them if you are safe to do so.
Mention free will if it gets heated!!!
Best of luck to you

Answer 7

I know how you feel, I felt the same way telling my parents that I was agnostic. I didn't really flat out tell them, but they got the hint after a few religious discussions.

I'm still afraid to tell my extended family because they're extremely religious Christians. They have that attitude that everyone else is wrong and they're right. I feel if I tell them, they would just kinda look down on me.

So I just keep it to myself, I don't have to profess my views to the world, but if anyone asks me I usually just tell them what I think.

Answer 8

Maybe you shouldn't tell them, they might burn you at the stake, or try to exorcise you. J/K

Part of growing up is becoming your own person. Eventually your parents will have to realize that they have taught you the best they can, and now that you're grown up, you should be able to make your own decisions.

I have friends in their mid twenties that still find it hard to go against their parent's wishes (by getting a tattoo and hiding from their parents and such). I find it funny because how could they consider themselves adults if they still worry about their parent's approval? I say tell them what you believe, and be prepared to defend it. Until you cross this hurdle, they won't consider you "grown up" yet.

Answer 9

They should know anyway honey, My little girl stuggles with me continually. I know she doesn't believe but I love her anyway. I bet that both of your parents weren't born again at 16 either. I would like to ask you this though. What about paganism feels right? Is it the fact that you know there are no rules and you can do what feels good to your flesh? Whatever the case is, your parents are going to love you anyway. Don't worry so much.....

Answer 10

live sweetie and tell them. you'll only become more depressed and dissatisfied with them as parents. change is hard for everybody but they have to except it or not. They still love, but lying to them is no way to live. tell the truth. this matter will work itself out.