How about you are you any good...if so give us an example of your joke telling skills? 10 points for the best.
2006-09-12 13:40:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing
up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife
quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800
to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the
woman drops her towel and stands na ked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about
the £800 he owes me?"
2006-09-12 21:20:00 · answer #1 · answered by BLUE 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A big hairy biker goes to the hardware store and buys an anvil, a spade, and a bucket. He goes to the pet shop next door and buys a cockerel and a goat on piece of string.
As he is in a hurry to get back to the biker club he takes a shortcut down a dark alley.
Halfway along he bumps into a little old lady who says
"Excuse me Mr Big Hairy Biker, but are you going to throw me up against the wall and make mad passionate love to me until all your wicked desires are sated?"
Rather puzzled by this, the big hairy biker looks at his laden arms and says
"How on earth would you expect me to do that little old lady?"
She replies
"Put the cockerel down, put the bucket over it, put the anvil on top of the bucket, put the spade up against the wall and I will hold the goat for you..."
2006-09-13 00:18:23 · answer #2 · answered by Ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am amont the world's worst at telling jokes or remembering them , but I do love em.
This one won the world liar's contest
Wow can you beleive how cold Minn was this winter.
How cold?
It was so cold my lawyer had his hands in his own pockets.
My favorite one from a black friend.
" this guy was walking across a beach and came upon a bottle.
He began to rub it and these two blonde genies poped out.
They informed him he had 3 wishes to make and one of them would come true each day there for three days. but he should be aware of his picks and the dangers involved in asking for free things.
He thought it saw a scam but made them anyway.
HIs wishes were;
1-he wanted to be richer than anyone on earth.
2-he wanted to to be surounded by 100 beautiful women.
3-he wanted to be hung like a black man.
On the 1st day he awakened in a mansion filled with gold, silver,and thousand dollar bills. The guy rejoiced in his good luck and could hardly control himself until the second day,
On the 2nd day he woke up to hear gigling and being tickled by 100 of the most beautiful women on earth, so beautiful they must have beed daughters of the gods. The guy was so estatic with joy he could hardly wait, but put the girls off until his final wish came true.
On the third day he woke up to see no changes in himself, but heard a knock on his front door. He opened the door to discover the two blonde genies standing there. They asked in unison "are you ready" and with his yes they grabed him between them took him out side to the nearest tree and hanged him.
As they walked off one blonde Genie was over heard asking the other blonde Genie" I wonder why he wanted to be hanged like a black man?"
2006-09-12 14:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm lousy at jokes, just like I am at allegories. I have managed to memorize only one in my life:
Q:
What do you get when you cross James Dean with (insert the name of your political pansy of the day. Ex:) George Bush?
A:
Rebel without a clue.
*snicker* Hey, I like it. lol
2006-09-13 03:51:36 · answer #4 · answered by Shadow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little girl goes upstairs and finds her mummy on top of her daddy, she asks "What are you doing", the mummy replies "oh it's ok mummy is just getting all the air out of daddy's fat belly"
to which the little girl says "well thats no good cos tomorrow the neighbour will come and blow it up again"
2006-09-12 13:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by pikapoke_uk 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Riddles there fairly easy...just think of a logical observation and tell it in a question.
2006-09-12 13:43:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should be an audio question)
What's on object that starts with "T", full of "T", and ends with "T"
Answer: A tea pot
What's an object that starts with t, full of tea, and ends with t.
2006-09-12 13:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by yekis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like you. not a good joke teller.
2006-09-12 13:48:58 · answer #8 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alison R is funny
2006-09-13 02:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by markhatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two flies are siting on a turd, one farts and the other one says " Hey, I'm trying to eat."
2006-09-12 13:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by jedi1josh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋