I think about my parents dying and my brother dying and i cry just thinking about it, so i dont know how i will handle myself when it actually happens. right now my grandma is in the hospital for the millionth time, she has emphasyma (however its spelt) and other complications due to smoking and if something happens i dont know how i will deal with it, i want to be composed and not cry constatnly, how can i do this because once i start crying i cant get myself to stop
2006-09-12 13:35:26 · 12 answers · asked by soulrebel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My grandpa died suddanly no one was really expecting it and sometimes to this day (it happened two years ago) i get upset thinking about it and how he wont be there on my wedding day.... u know things like that...but i try to think about the happy times... just let her know you love her...and just think about the good times not the sad times but the only thing that will heal it is time....and just dont think about that till it happens and not get sad over something that hasnt happen yet (meaning your parents and brother).....i hope everything works for you :)
2006-09-12 13:42:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First enjoy your grandma while she is here.
Don't even try to imagine what it will be like. You can't. You don't want to either so why try?
When or if, (yes , I said if. None of us own a day. You know.) that time comes. You will cry. You will cry like as if you will never stop.
At first you will cry all the time but eventually you will forget to cry. Then those periods will get longer and longer until one day you will think of them and laugh at something they did once.
Healing takes time. You will always love and miss them. But it will be okay.
Don't worry about being composed. Everybody handles grief different. Cry if that's what you want. Quiet if that's what is what you want.
Whatever you do remember you have a whole family there to help you through this. Stick together remember they hurt too.
2006-09-12 20:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have dealt with death in the past...i had three sons die but they were all very young...and so i think the pain has lessoned...but losing my grandparents was hard,.. i was real close to them...but i lost my dad may 1 2005 and that was the hardest thing i have ever went through...i still have not gotten over it.. my mom we just recently put her in the nursing home.. and she has emphasyma and so much wrong with her....she has to have constant care...she was on hospice for awhile but now she is in a home...but i know what you mean i use to do the same thing to...cry before they were even gone...it is so hard to think about...but my dads death actually brought me to my knees...it is once appointed that a man has to die...but if they know the lord then we have hope of seeing them again....and they have gone to a far better place...and my dad was a baptist minister and i know he is gone to heaven....but the tears we cry and all helps give us some release but time is the only thing that will wear it down in time...i know it has been almost 2 years now, or maybe it has been 2 years since i lost my dad...and it seems like just a few days ago....you have to believe that they are suffering down here so god is taking them home to a better place where they will not suffer anymore...and i pray you do know the lord and that you believe in him...i do not know what i would do if i thought my family was lost....i hope i have helped you...just try and be strong and know that this is part of life ....there is a time for everything in this world... and god gave us a time to be born and a time to die....if i can help you in any way please email me...there is so much i can not say on here....i will be thinking about you ...and god bless you.....you are normal by the way....you are a caring person as i am...that is a gift to you too...give your family all the love you can while they are here...we all make mistakes and get mad especially if we are young..but just be caring as you sound to me....show them love all you can...
2006-09-12 20:48:02 · answer #3 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, stop worrying about it. When the time comes, and may that be many years from now, cry until you can't cry no more. I had 2 brothers and my father die over 25 years ago and there is not a day that does not go by that I don't think of them.
The terrible pain of their loss has faded to just an emptiness in my heart for them. But you do learn to cope with it and it will be in a way that you choose, everyone handles grief differently. For now with your Grandma in the hospital try to see her as much as you can, tell her you love her as many times as you can. Give her as much love as you can muster up.
2006-09-12 20:53:03 · answer #4 · answered by morris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being too hard on yourself. It is okay to cry. Young people are not expected to know how to handle grief yet.
When grandma dies, and you accompany your family to make arrangements or to a funeral, try to be of service to your parents, aunts and uncles. Help serve tea, fetch chairs, and hang coats, etc. This will keep you busy and help the services run smoothly.
2006-09-12 20:43:35 · answer #5 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know in your heart that when things get difficult, love for your grandmother will give you strength. She is probably so happy to have you visit her, and care about her, that nothing else matters. You are doing a tremendous amount just by being there, and she knows if she dies, you will go on into the future. Many people are so "mental" that they can't even visit loved ones, and don't know why. You are terrifically strong to be there at all----that's 99% of it.
2006-09-12 20:42:24 · answer #6 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one said it would be easy thats why they call it grief. But believe it or not...time does heal all wounds, emotional and otherwise. Everyone will understand and they will be there for you....
You don't have to be the strong one.
2006-09-12 20:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by john s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go visit your grandmother and let her know how much you care while she's still living. You can mourn when the times comes.
2006-09-12 20:41:02 · answer #8 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to live for today and take each moment god gives you with your family ,you know when a person dies you greive for yourself dont you, make grannys last days the best for both of you
2006-09-12 20:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it helped me to know that my family is a family of Christians & that they went to a better place & that I will see them there when my time comes .
Hope this helps & the best to your Grandmom , hope she
gets well soon.
2006-09-12 20:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋