Why is it that we women can't say what we want in a relationship because we might scare the guy off (for example that we are seeking marriage and children) and it is too soon to bring that up but at the same time men can talk about sex, cuddling, snuggling, PDA, etc in the personals ads and it is ok when I think that is alittle forward. And are so picky about women and what they look like (for example they won't date an obese woman or someone with a physical feature they don't like but at the same time if a woman says she prefers a man not have something or look a certain way, she is told (moreoftern by other women) that it doesn't matter or it isn't important but at the same time guys won't do the same. For example we should go out with the guy with bad teeth because he is a nice person but a man doesn't want to go out with an obese woman (even though she might have a great personality). Why can't we say what we want and prefer?
2006-09-12 13:33:40 · 9 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please note before any of you guys start saying that I must be obese, i'm not, I don't even weigh 100 lbs. I'm just using the obese term as an example of how men screen out potential dates.
2006-09-12 13:34:51 · update #1
Why would any woman even CONSIDER going out with a guy who's got a "No Fat Chicks!" t-shirt stretched across his enormous beer gut?
There used to be a double standard in that women were expected to make a huge effort to look good, but men were okay no matter what (a relic of the days when the man had all the money and power, and could call the shots). But then women started supporting themselves, and along came male matinee idols (stage actors) and movie stars, so women could develop their own unrealistic standards; PLAYBOY magazine got all the men riled up thinking that real women were all airbrushed, so PLAYGIRL returned the favor by suggesting that any man worth having would have six-pack abs, a perfect tan and million-dollar teeth. And so it goes.
Bottom line is, you CAN and SHOULD say what you want in a relationship. Just bear in mind what you yourself are bringing to the party. If you only want someone who's gorgeous and rich, then you yourself had better meet that description as well, or else reconsider your demands.
Good luck --
2006-09-12 13:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by Steve H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, please don't go out with a guy with bad teeth. I hope you can do better than that :) We are allowed to be choosy and there is nothing wrong with that. I will say up front that I want a woman who IS interested in marriage and children, and I think not saying what you really want is recepie for disaster.
It's just that women don't want to limit their number of potential dates before they've met the guys because they are not the ones doing the asking. Since the guys do the asking, they do all the screening. Girls screen guys once they've been asked out or perhaps even gone on a date or two.
But in the end it boils down to the simple fact: Is this the man/woman you want or are you just settling. If you are settling then shame on you. If this is the person you'd be with if you had your pick of anyone on earth, then by all means go with them and be happy.
I hope that makes sense. If you still haven't found the man of you dreams, I beseech you to be honest with the person you present yourself to be. The right man will say hi. None else might, but why should you care? Good luck.
2006-09-12 13:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can absolutely say what you want and prefer, it's just women tend to overlook the physical appearance more so than guys, it seems to be less important for women in general. But I certainly think that if you have a particular aversion to guys with bad teeth there isn't anything wrong with making it known. Also, I've never had a problem mentioning in my online ad that I was ultimately looking to create a family. It may have "scared off" a few people, I don't know - but these are probably people I wouldn't have been interested in meeting anyway. My fiancé, whom I met online, is very much interested in having a family and kids, and this was one of the things that attracted him to me, and vice versa.
Bottom line is, if you are self-confident enough to be yourself while still exercising common sense, you will attract the right people, while "scaring away" the wrong ones.
2006-09-12 13:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god ... i have been here sooooo many times ... its sad ... and here i thought it was just me!!
most guys want to the fantasy girl and if you have a great conversation w/ them for hours they'll finally ask .. what do you look like? you tell them ... click ... where they'd go??
if we say what we prefer than we are being picky and come across as that ... if we see how it goes and take a shot somtimes you'll get that rare guy who doesn't care what you look like but loves that he can talk to you ...
i hope you find your "right" guy!!
2006-09-12 13:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm an equal opportunity date
2006-09-12 13:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can say whatever the hell u want but be prepared for the consequences cuz most guys dont wanna hear that
2006-09-12 13:37:10 · answer #6 · answered by lex1979x 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first its because us men need a well sorta Perfect lady if yah will,we need ,want,crave,only the best in what we plan on teaching to do as we say
2006-09-12 13:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like the pretty lights.
2006-09-12 13:36:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say what I want when I want, and he wants to leave...sh!t, this house don't have bars on it...he can LEAVE.
2006-09-12 13:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋