I am Bipolar and I have my own house. Recently I felt really sorry for one of my friends because she is trying to raise two kids on her own and was way behind in her bills. As usual sucker me offered to let her and her two kids stay with me until she can get can get caught up with her bills. Well here we go. I am trying to hold my lip but it is getting hard. From the time they get up in the morning all she does is scream and ***** at the kids day in day out. She drinks at least 2 forties a night and has a vicodin addiction problem as well as an addiction with Somas. I am on medication myself for my own disorder. Every day I hear can i have a Xanax? I need these medications for myself and have a script from my Psychiatrist for them as well as other drugs. She goes to work for a few hours a day gets home makes themselves dinner and tries to get the kids to sleep. Good Luck. The kids scream every night for at least n hour before they go to sleep. Can someone help?
2006-09-12 13:09:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Not only do the kids not want to go to sleep but they scream and scream until she goes in there screams at them and then comes back out. Two minutes later the same thing happens. I can't take it anymore. If I would have known that she had all of these problems I never would have asked her to come here. I keep a spotless home and so did she when she had her own place. Now she is a pig. She can't even wash the dishes from her meals I end up doing it. It has gotten so bad that my own boyfriend doesn't want to be here when she is home because he is so sick of listening to her scream at the kids never talks to them just screams. Can anyone give me some advice she even screams about my dog when she barks YOU ARE GONNA WAKE UP MY KIDS, i was just trying to be nice and now I feel like a sucker that is just being used. I had my pets when she got here. What can I do?
2006-09-12 13:15:38 · update #1
No wonder you are feeling kinda blue. You should be feeling like youre ready to tear your hair out. This is really an unacceptable situation for anyone to be in. It must be terrible to care about the feelings of another person/people more than you care about your own. This woman and her children should not be living with you, she is making your life miserable, she has so many problems of her own and is including you in them...You dont need it.
She needs to go, I agree with everyone who has said that, but the problem is your inability to hurt her feelings. So that is what I am going to concentrate on.
I want you to think about this. You say she is your friend and you felt sorry for her....that was then...now that you have gotten to know what she is really like, do you still class her as a friend? I am asking this because do you need her in your life as a friend, and if you told her to go, would you be sad if she wasnt your friend anymore? Also what is the worst that can happen if you tell her to leave? Will she physically harm you? If you dont need her as a friend, then asking her to go is going to be much better for you in the long run.
For a confident person the answer is easy...just tell her to leave, but obviously you dont know how to do it.
This is my suggestion. Tell your boyfriend that you are going to ask these people to leave, but you would like him there to be with you for support. If he wont do it, then find another friend who will be with you when you tell her to leave. If the prospect of telling her to leave is too scarey for you, then get someone else to do it for you. It could go something like this....Your friend says....".X (you) is not well at the moment and has asked me to tell you that she needs you to find alternate accommodation because this was only supposed to be a short term thing, and she really needs her house back because of her own health issues. She wants you to be out by (and specify a date) which will give you plenty of time to find yourself other accommodation (give her a month at most)." Also give her a newspaper with affordable accommodation circled. This woman will come to you and say...something like "is this true" All you have to say is "yes", my health is really suffering and while I trully do care about your situation, for my own health I have to have it this way"....dont get into an arugement with her...dont allow her to lay the guilt trip on you. Just say something like "I am not prepared to discuss this with you anymore, my decision is final" and walk away.
It will probably be uncomfortable for that month and she will probably try to lay the guilt trip on you. You have to be strong, as much as you dont want to be...this women and her children are ruining your life. No matter how she intends to get you with guilt, remain calm always....and always come back with "I am sorry, my decision is final". Gosh, your boyfriend wont even come around so it must be really bad. Maybe for that month you could ask a good friend to come stay with you to support you so as this woman will not manipulate you into changing your mind.
This is your house, not hers, you have every right to choose who you wish to live there. Her kids are her responsibility, and while I am sure you are worried for them, your health is going down because of the extra stress they are all placing on your life...You dont need it. You will have one uncomfortable month, but after that, then you will be far happier, and certainly will have learnt from this experience. Maybe get a letter from you psychiatrist/therapist saying your health is getting so bad because of the extra stress having so many people in the house is putting on you, that if these people are not gone in a month then she will have no option but to notify the authorities and have them foreably removed because she is concerned for your health and well-being. Just get as much support as you possibly can. This is a very hard situation to handle on your own. Get you and your friends together and think how is going to be the best way to get this woman and her kids out. She really has got to go...You must know that.
All the luck in the world.
2006-09-12 14:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its kinda like opening Pandoras Box and wishing you didn't after... so ... you A. tell her its time to go or....
B. Sit down with your new roommate and confirm a date that she will have to leave by and stick by it.
You obviously were trying to be a good person but did not know what you were getting yourself into. This kind of situation unfortunately turns out badly and usually the person trying to do something good looks bad.
More info in addition to your extra comments... it is time for her to go.... she is not respectful of you and sounds like she is a big user. Give her a week to find a place (to be fair to her kids) and thats that... sorry you are going through this... sometimes a good heart gets trampled. Hang in there.
2006-09-12 20:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by smilingmick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help a person that isn't trying to help themselves. She is being very inconsiderate of you and your home. You need to tell her how this is making you feel. I know it is hard, but you gotta do it. If she is so broke she can't pay her bills how can she afford to drink? You obviously have some depression problems yourself. So set a time limit for her to stay there. and be firm. I had to ask a close relative to leave ny home, it was hard but I was putting up with the same thing. YOU CAN DO IT !!
2006-09-12 20:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by tried it all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take of your needs first. Tell her that she needs to find another place to live because it is adversely affecting your health. It is your home, so don't back down. There are other friends and shelters she can stay in.
And you are right. Your meds are not for her-they are for you. Do not share them with anyone. Ever.
Do this, and you will feel a whole lot better. Also, play your favorite music or read a book. My cats also cheer me up with their antics. Best wishes.
2006-09-12 20:40:16 · answer #4 · answered by Rhonda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you kick her @$* to the curb. I don't mean to be rude and I understand why you let her move in with you but that's absolutely ridiculous. If you cannot have a normal life in your own home, somethings got to change. Explain to her why you've asked her to move out and if she doesn't like it, too bad. It doesn't sound like she's tried to change her life since she moved in, but she seems to have made yours a living hell, get rid of her.
Also, I love this joke, it might make you feel better;
On Monday, a duck walked into a pet store and asked the owner; "Got any duck food?".
The owner said; “No I don’t sell duck food here.”
On Tuesday the duck went back to the same pet store and asked the owner again; "Got any duck food?”.
The owner replied; "I told you yesterday that I don't sell duck food, now get out!"
On Wednesday the duck went back to the pet store and asked the owner again; "Got any duck food?”.
The owner became very angry and said: “I told you on Monday and yesterday I didn't.....If you ask me for duck food one more time, I am going to nail your webbed feet to the floor!”
The duck came back on Thursday and asked the owner; “Got a hammer and nails?”
The owner answered; "No I don't have a hammer and nails".
The duck then asked; "Got any duck food?”
2006-09-12 20:23:13 · answer #5 · answered by Frogodo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have your own problems to deal with. Bipolar disorder is a horrible disorder that leaves most people unable to take care of themselves. You have your own house and support yourself. Don't ruin it! She may bring you down with her and her kids. What if they burn the house down?
You have to tell them to leave, trust me she and the kids will manage. You don't have to take care of them because you have to take care of you. They could affect your life and already have. You can get into legal trouble for giving her your xanax.
Don't feel guilty, she should feel guilty for taking advatange of you. She is a drunk and irresponsible, she is not your friend so don't feel guilty about telling her to leave. Worry about yourself before you lose it. Then where will she be? Certainly not taking care of you!!!
I hope you do tell them to leave but you probably won't. I hope you do before you end up in a bad place.
2006-09-12 20:47:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her its not working and ask her to leave, if that don't work tell her she has to leave. Seriously what you've done by asking her and the kids is admirable, but for your health you cannot keep this going. You might try to explain to her your healt is at risk and if she tries to minimise that, tell her your friendship is at risk too.
2006-09-12 20:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call child protection services. They need to know about this woman. She is an addict, as you rightly mentioned. And a user.
You have your own problems. Congratulations on taking care of them.
Good luck.
2006-09-12 20:35:23 · answer #8 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her it's not working out. Her behavior is making your condition worse. HINT: maybe this is why she don't have a man.
Yo mama so fat she put a run in her jeans!
Yo mama so fat she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box!
Yo mama so stupid the sign said "wet floor" so she did!
Yo moma so ugly her nickname is "damn!"
Yo moma so nasty even the sewer guy gags.
2006-09-12 20:17:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 guys walk into a bar the 3rd one ducks!!!!
What a knee slapper
Hey if that doesn't cheer u up then listen to christian music and also pray
2006-09-12 20:12:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋