how do i get my 4 year old to stop sleeping in my bed?

Question

i've bought her a new bed fixed her room like a princess room since she promised she would start sleeping in her room if i bought her her own tv and dvd player but her room is being treated like a play room if i put her in her bed she'll cry for the longest untill i give in i've even tried sleeping with her on her bed till she falls asleep but in the middle of night she'll sneak in my bed anyone have any helpful suggestions?

Answer 1

This link has some good advice, although you should have got her started earlier than age 4.

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/preschooler/pbehavior/65497.html

Answer 2

My 3 year old daughter slept in my bed for the longest time, for over a week now she has slept in her own bed! She used to get out of my bed in the middle of the night and go sleep with my mom or on the couch. We bought her a new bed last year as well. What I did was lay her in her bed and shut the bedroom door, she would fuss and cry and scream her head off and she kept opening the door because she wanted it open. I went to lay down in my bed an hour and a half later and she was still awake, she finally got tired and fell asleep. She did that for a couple nights then I decided to lay in my bed in the room with her and she wouldn't scream and cry. And now I lay her in her bed and will read her a book and she lays there and falls asleep. Try to get her in bed earlier and just let her cry it out until she falls asleep or sit in the room with her and read her a book.

Answer 3

No offense, but you've set some REALLY bad examples, and you've set yourself up for her wanting to sleep with you.

First of all, why on EARTH does a FOUR year old need a tv and dvd player in their room? Really???

Secondly, the reason why she comes to your bed every night is because up until now, you've let her.

There's no easy fix to this. It's going to take time to break.

When she comes into your room, don't talk too much, just quietly bring her back to bed. Over and over. After a few weeks, she'll realize where she belongs. The reason she is doing this is because you've allowed her to.

Answer 4

My daughter will be 4 in November so she is a little younger but this is my story. About 2 months ago, I took her to pick out all new bedding for her bed, which is in her own room but she never slept in it. She picked out Disney Princess everything. She was sooo excited and kept saying she was going to sleep in her princess bed all by herself. While we were saying how great that was, we NEVER believed it. Well from then on, she sleeps in her bed. She sometimes gets up around 4 or so, this AM 7 and came in with us. But over all she is in her own bed. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

She is your baby, ha ha ha yea this one is fun and hard to break!!
Being a father of 5 we have one that is doing the same thing. They are looking for the warmth given off by your body as well as the companionship. This is not a bad thing, but sexual relations are difficult when you have an audience. Keep up the Virgil of putting her in bed, and try leaving a light on!! Don't scold her when she climbs in your bed, just take her back to her own bed.
A fancy bed might be scary in the dark, you never know what a child is thinking unless you ask!! Chances are she is looking for the companionship, By the way mine are 2,3,5,7,9 and saturday morning is family bed day!! LOL I love them all !! The best sexual deterent is young children LOL!!

Answer 6

My son went through a phase like this when he was about the same age. I let him sleep on his blanket on my floor next to the bed, then gradually moved the blanket closer and closer to my door, then out into the hallway, then into his room and finally into his bed. It was a long process, but it worked.

If he tried to come into the bed, I didn't let him. He cried and put up a fuss, but I didn't give in. If it took four times of getting up and putting him in his bed, I did it. It was a rough couple of nights, but once he learned I wouldn't give in, he stopped.

It's hard, I know. A lot of kids go through this, so you're not alone!

Answer 7

I have gone thru the same thing with my son. I saw this technique on Super Nanny: Every single time she comes back to your room, you have to take her back, tuck her in, and turn around and leave without talking. Be consistent, and she'll eventually get the picture.
About sneaking into your bed the middle of the night, do something to your door so you'll hear her if she comes in. Like put something behind it that will make a noise if it's moved.
It won't take long and she'll stay in her room. If she cries, just get a loud humidifier and turn it on so you can't hear her!
Be strong, mama! Don't give in to her!

Answer 8

eTake the telvision and dvd player OUT of her bedroom. When you put her to bed let her cry, if it lasts more than 15 minutes go in, pat her on her back tell her she's ok, then walk OUT leaving her IN her bed. It's going to be tuff because YOU have allowed her to control it all with her crying. Keep the televisions and dvd players/video games OUT of the bedroom...those are not conducive to sleep and should be done in a "common" area of the home where the child's time with them can be monitored and supervised. Besides do you want your child to become addicted to them?

Answer 9

Went through this with my oldest. The doctor suggested something called the disappearing chair technique. I will give you a brief description. It begins by you laying with your child or holding her until she falls asleep. Eventually move to sitting in a chair next to her bed. After several nights gradually move the chair closer and closer to teh door. Eventually your chair will be outside the door and than not at all. This is very time consuming and can take several weeks, but if you are as desperate as I was than it's worth it. It worked for my son (he was 4 at the time.)

Answer 10

Put on a movie when she goes to bed. If she gets up and tries to get into bed with you, pick her up and put her back in her room. You should have broken this habit long ago, but I see you are paying for it already.

Yeah, she's going to cry, scream and pitch a fit, but hey, you are the grown-up here. Tell her she can cry all she wants, but it has to be in her room. Your room is not hers. Yeah, its cool for her to sleep there if she's sick or has had a nightmare, but you need your space, too. Be firm. You are the one in charge, not her. She won't cry forever. Start now and by next week she will be in her own bed.

Good luck!!

Answer 11

She needs to be punished when she gets out of her own bed or if you find her in yours in the morning. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! If she realizes that if she cries long enough you will give her what she wants she will never learn. Persistance is key. It's not going to scar her to sleep in her own bed. You can't bribe her to sleep in there. YOU ARE THE PARENT! Don't let her control the household or she's going to grow into a spoiled brat. Put your foot down. She needs boundaries and to know you're in charge.