What Religion?

Question

Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and we're ready to settle down, get married and have a family of our own. But before we take it to the next level there is something that is kind of bothering me. My boyfriend is studying to be a Jehova Witness and Im a Catholic. We were talking about our future and the question came up where if we were to have children what religion would our children follow? Jehova Witness or Catholic? I respect my boyfriends decision in wanting to become a loyal Jehova Witness and he respects my decision of being Catholic but I don't know if I want my children to grow up with Jehova Witness beliefs. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's a bad or wrong religion it's just that their beliefs such as no blood transfusions and not celebrating major holidays and birthdays make me feel like I would be depriving my child. What should I do? Thank You

Answer 1

I am in a similar situation, except that I am a Jehovah's Witness and my husband is not. We agreed when we got married that our children would be exposed to both of our religions.(My husband was baptized Anglican,but he does not practice.) The only thing I drew the line at was Halloween. I will not have my child exposed to such evil.
I will not lie to you, this can be a very difficult situation, when two people have such vastly differing beliefs. This is something that can be a potential deal breaker. Are you willing to allow your husband to take the child(ren) in the field ministry? To meetings and assemblies? The Bible tells us that the father is head of the household and that, ultimately he has the responsibility for the spiritual welfare of the children.
As for blood transfusions, that is not as big of an issue as it used to be, due to the advances in bloodless surgery.
As for depriving your children, let me put your mind to rest. I was raised as a Witness and I certainly do not feel deprived in any way. I feel very fortunate.
You and your intended should carefully and prayerfully discuss the advancement of your relationship. He should speak to the local congregations elders.

Answer 2

OK have you took the time to find out why JW's do not do the things you mentioned? You may be really surprised by the answer. As far as blood transfusions go, do you know that many doctors are learning more about bloodless surgeries b/c of so many problems associated with blood transfusions? It will be hard to have two different faiths, I would seriously consider this decision but I don't think he is a bad guy because he is studying with witnesses as some of the answers implied.
There are many couples where one is a witness and the other not, it is not going to be easy especially when children come along because of reasons you mentioned. Ask the person who studies with him the next time he comes over. I'm sure he will be able to give both of you advice and even answer some of your questions about their beliefs.

Answer 3

I AM CATHOLIC





Please take the time 2 read my entry... I think it will help.











There is nothing more important than having the right belief. if ur kids are raised jehov. wit. then they will never have the joy of receiving the HOLY EUCHARIST or any of the other Sacrements. My Grandmother was married in a lutheran church and then got REMaried in the Catholic Church and raised her children that way, which is how my parents raised me, and that is the greatest thing any1 has evr done 4 me. If U raise ur kids Catholic, i guarantee youll b better off for so many reasons that i cant even mention them all without you getting bored of my babbling...lol... Just consider what i said and If he wants to raise them jevhovas whitness then i believe you should re think about whats really important in a man. After all, ur gonna b livin with him 4 ever. God Bless You. Ill pray that you make the right decision. peace.

Answer 4

I think a lot of people have this type of problem. A friend of mine is Baptist, and her husband is Lutheran. One week they all attend the Lutheran church, the next the Baptist. She said there for a while they would attend the Baptist for a month or so, then the Lutheran for a month or so, they also experimented with attending both services the same day. I haven't seen her in several years but the last time I talked to her she said they were starting to have disagreements about religion because their oldest was asking questions about doctrine (he was in 5th grade at the time).
I was rasied in a family where my Dad was Church of Christ and my Mom is Methodist. Dad stopped going to church before I was born, but he's never attended another church either. Mom raised me Methodist. I went until I was about 13, then pretty much stopped going, but not believing until I was 19 when I investigated religion on my own.
I can't tell you what to do, but for me, I'd never marry someone who wasn't of the same faith as I am.

Answer 5

Wow that's pretty rough. Are you guys getting married at a Catholic church? Or is it more of a civil wedding? In any case I would suggest staying Catholic even though he's Jehovah's witness only because you may the one sanctifying your home. And please don't deprive your kid from holidays and birthdays that's one of the best parts of being a kid. I'll say this; a family is supposed to be united and it's one of the greatest gifts from God. If this difference is gonna cause division in your family you should really consider and pray whether or not this man is really right for you. God bless, Jesus luvs you...

Answer 6

I don't think that it is ever a good idea for people of different religions to get married. Marriage is about unity and with different religions, you are not unified. Besides it will confuse your children. Think about this, Jehovahs witnesses don't celebrate any holidays, not even birthdays. They don't even say the Pledge of Allegiance. Catholics do all of that. Which one of you will turn your back on your beliefs? Are you going to give up celebrating Christs Birth for your husband, Is he going to make an exception? I don't have a problem with people belonging to either religion or raising their children in either religion. I just think that it is not a good idea for people with different beliefs to get married.

Answer 7

You do need to think it out because they are very strict in their beliefs. Your boyfriend may not realize that yet. Trust me. They will come to expect both yourself (being the female in the relationship) and any future kids to become a part of their beliefs. They aren't overbearing, but they can be insistent. Are you OK with that?

My grandmother was a Jehovah's Witness, and although she (and they) were very nice. She and her "congregation members" would "talk" to me and my brother when we'd visit.

I would think growing up in that system is tough. My grandmother converted when my Dad (her son) had left home, so I don't have any second-hand knowledge. But not having Christmas morning, and birthday party memories would be sad in my view. They do give gifts and have parties, but it cannot be for an Earthly purpose, only for "fellowship".

Now, my Grandma would say she wouldn't give any Christmas or birthday presents. However, gifts would always, somehow, arrive every year in early December for us, and late March/early April (his birthday is at the end of March and mine is the middle of April). What are the odds?

I guess it wasn't all bad, because my Mom would say it was OK to open them when the gifts arrived, since my Grandma didn't send them for those occasions.

You'll have to look at what kind of man you have. Is he going to be insistent on you joining as his congregation will push him to do?

Answer 8

Dump this guy or have your tubes tied. You're headed for misery.

The guy also is searching for some sense of personal worth and is not mature enough to marry, let alone be a father.

You might also consider what you would do if you had to choose between a blood transfusion and your child's death. Is this guy's freedom of religion so important that you would risk your children's lives for it?

If so, YOU'RE not mature enough for marriage, nor a family.

Answer 9

You and your boyfriend have obviously decided for yourselves what religion to be and not to be. You respect each others decision so why not let your children decide for themselves. It takes an adult mind to figure out what they believe and don't believe. You can't expect to go one way or another with the children and expect them to have understood the decision process. Share both religions with them, show your child that you can respect the choice of others and that it is okay to be what you are and for the reasons that you have decided. If more children were raised like that then maybe we wouldn't be so critical as a people of other religions.

Answer 10

This is the tricky part. It's not insuperable, but it's almost always tricky. You both have to sit down and have a long, detailed discussion about how you want to rear your children. Be prepared to be completely honest with him, and insist that he be completely honest with you. Share your concerns--like the very legitimate one you have concerning blood transfusions. Don't panic if you start to argue. These things are rarely hammered out in one sitting, and sometimes outside help is needed to maintain perspective. Don't be too stubborn to compromise.

Just remember this. Many, many, many inter-religious couples have been through this before you and made it work.