My grandpa married a Mormon woman with 7 children when my father was a teen.
My father and I weren’t raised Mormon, we are the only ones who aren’t Mormon.
My wife and I have been together for 5 years and we are not Mormon.
My Mormon family brings up babies every time they see my wife.
They have told her that they want her to have at least 5 children like everyone else in the family.
My step-cousin is 25 (like me) and has 4 children and wants 2 more.
So they really want me to follow their ways of MANY kids.
We are planning to have our first baby soon, and we are having two children only.
What can I do to get it thru their heads we are not following the Mormon way of life?
2006-09-12 12:10:11 · 8 answers · asked by HappyHippo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You need to step up to the plate here and tell them that this topic of conversation is OFF LIMITS. If they bring it up, politely but firmly leave the gathering or end the conversation. YOU need to set the boundaries; YOU need to take on this issue and be prepared to follow through. If they can't treat your wife and your decisions with respect, there need to be consequences. Religion is not a license to act like an interfering a$$hole. This is not a Mormon issue; it's a family issue.
Your wife doesn't deserve to have to deal with your family's crap; this is your job, and you're at least five years late. Deal with it now; it will only get worse if you don't.
2006-09-12 13:03:39 · answer #1 · answered by amivins 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋
What rude relatives you have! They are not like the Mormons I know. Of course Mormons understand that the number of children you have is your personal business. No Mormon with a lick of sense would make any comments about it to anyone, Mormon or non-Mormon. None of my Mormon friends would feel concerned if you wished to have only two children.
Could you be a little overly sensitive to this issue? People often assume that others are talking about them, when in fact most people are only concerned with themselves.
How to deal with rude people. If asked about when you are going to have children, or how many you are going to have, ask them why they want to know. Most Mormons have fewer than four children, anyway. So your desire to have two children is actually about typical. You could say that you wish to have children, and leave it at that. It is none of their business anyway.
Just be polite and realize that they love you and want what is best for you. Who knows, after your first child you may desire you want two or more in addition. Or maybe not.
2006-09-13 13:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by Doctor 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Big families aren't necessarily the "mormon" way of life. However, remind them gently that the leaders of the LDS church has said that the number of children is up to the husband and wife.
2006-09-15 03:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sherpa 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell them how you feel. Lovingly ask them to not bother you about children.
I am Mormon, been married for 6 years and we have no kids. My family is always saying "oh when are you going to have some kids" or other things and finally I just had to tell them we'll have them when God wants us to!
I only want 2 or 3, I don't feel like I could handle more than that. But who knows...
Also, be understanding that to mormons, we are taught to bring God's spirit children into this world, pretty much as many as you can physically and mentally take care of.
I would say just be honest with them and tell them it bothers you. You don't have to be mean, if they are understanding, they will leave you alone.
2006-09-13 11:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Let them know that while you are respecting them and not telling them that they should have stopped having children at 2 children and waiting until they and their spouses had been together longer, they need to in turn have respect for you and your wife by letting you live your lives your way and in your faith. You do not believe as they do and they have no right to expect you to be like them.
2006-09-12 12:21:50 · answer #5 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
here's the only solution: get as far away from them as possible. trying to reason with them is *hopeless*! believe me: i and my family have experience tackling this problem. if you have any luck, they'll dessert you first, so they can practice their skewed religion without "antis" "persecuting" them.
watch out. Mormons have been known to practice "blood atonement": murdering people for the forgiveness of their sins. get in touch with me, and I'll be happy to give you all the info you need about what they call their "Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints" (the Mormon Church).
in spite of what they claim, Mormons are so far from Christianity it will boggle your mind. The truth is, the founding "prophets" and modern leaders of Mormonism created concepts out of the clear blue sky, as has been proved in countless areas. the sad part is, they get so brainwashed, trying to get through to them is like performing CPR on morgue tenants.
2006-09-12 12:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by techronarrow 2 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Don't let it bother you
just don't answer have your family just like you want
it seems that their religions forget to teah them to respect other people value
2006-09-12 12:35:32 · answer #7 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get a vasectomy after kid #2
2006-09-12 12:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by Scott L 5 · 2⤊ 6⤋