Is a letter more effective than conversation? ladies please.....?

Question

All I want is to get my ex girlfriend back. We were together 8 years and she means the world to me. Unfortunately I didnt show it enough when i should of. I have made so many changes in the last six weeks since we broke up and despite what someone says you really can change if you want to and i have. I just want her to know how I feel about her and how I intend to go about things in the future. Conversation seems to not sink in properly and I was thinking that a letter would be more effective in saying everything I want to and giving her something to re read and think about. So I was wondering if an honest letter from the heart would be an effective way of telling her all these things and trying to get her back?

Answer 1

Yes, write write write!!!


Writing gives us time to re read and re write. It gives us the chance to see, listen and read what we are saying. It is by far a great tool to communication. One of my ex-boyfriends and I shared some fantastic e-mails. With regard to our relationship and working through negative issues we would have otherwise argued verbally, or with drew from in an oral conversation.

As for wanting her back and the changes you have made,,,you are an ADMIRABLE man. Just remember, you can not make her love you. I wish the best for you both.

Answer 2

Once a woman has decided to leave a man there is usually nothing, really nothing the man can do 'to get the woman back".

the reason is that the woman has made this decision over the course of many years before and the final step is just the result of many years of thinking . over those years also the feeling very likely have changed.

So - you should not have any hope in this regard. And whatever you did and changed now make sure you do better with the next girlfriend.

However - your writing skills are really good and you may be able to express well what you want to say. But if you talk to much about you and what you think she wants then you may miss the things which are really important to her.

This is the advantage of a conversation where you can change topics when you see one thing "did not hit the spot".

Writing a letter can't hurt. And as a follow up a conversation maybe in a nice quiet restaurant (a neutral place).

But still - you may need to accept that she really does not want to be with you any more since a long time.

Sorry....

Answer 3

I'm all for that. An honest, well-writen heart-felt letter can have tremendous emotional impact on people, and it can be very romantic. Plus, a lot of people, me included, are much more articulate and confident in writing than in person because it gives you the chance to think about what you want to say, how you want to say it, make changes if you don't like it, and you don't get nervous and leave things out.

Here are the down sides: She may have moved on in the last six months and you could be wasting your time. She may keep the letter to harass you or to brag to her friends, knit-pick it and make fun of it. She may not even bother to read it. If she's angry with you, she may misread it or read things between the lines that you don't intend. But, you'll never know until you send it to her, and if you love her that much, it's worth the risk. You might send her flowers or candy or something with the letter so your intentions are clear.

Answer 4

I always read letters even from guys I got fed up with. Don't make it too long. Tell her you can see why she split with you. Tell her that you want her to know how much you care for her, Tell her all the things that made you love her and that you will always remember her as one of the greatest people you have even known. Ask if she would talk to you on the phone at a time she picks and IF she agrees> LISTEN< Do not defend yourself, agree with her and tell her you wish you had been wiser when you were together. Go slow and be patient. I don't know either of you so I have no idea if she will listen and re-consider. But it is worth a try and I don't think any girl can resist hearing about all the things you love about them. Good Luck

Answer 5

Words are an effective form of communication no matter what the circumstances. It might give you more control of instant emotions and regretful words than as in a heated arguement.
Write it. Leave it for 1-3 days. Re-read it and make whatever changes seem appropriate.
Your first draft is too emotional and thats' better for poetry or romantic letters. Appealing to her requires you to step back a bit and look at the entire situation with thoughtfulness.
Good luck. There are no garrantees in this life but it's always worth a try and you'll feel better for the trying.

Answer 6

A letter would probably be your best bet. If you write a heart felt letter you can fill it with all the thoughts that you want to convey to her, but she might not give you the opportunity to say. Writing it will also give you the chance to re-read it and edit any mistakes out. You can't take back anything that you've said. Once it is out it is too late. But, you can always re-write. Plus, you're right, she can read and re-read it and that may allow your words to sink in. She'll also probably be touched that you took the time to write her such a letter no matter how she feels about what you actually say.

Answer 7

So you think a letter will do it when you couldn't do it in 8 yrs ?? Didn't she give you enough time already ? It might be too late but I do think your last ditch effort should be a letter. Sometimes its hard to remember all you really want to say in a short conversation or she might no allow you the time anymore. A letter is a good idea. But please make sure you know what your talking about before you send it. If you couldn't do what was necessary in 8 yrs there might be a good reason for that. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

In ur case I dont think that letter will help..Words are just not enough u gotta PROVE that u've changed with actions...Make something sweet for her...If in ur relationship there was lack of showing feelings from ur side then try otherwise all the time show her how important is to u and in every chance tell her that she means the world to u...Now u can start by sending her flowers and writing some sweet words(ur words from the heart) and if u ever make up dont make the same mistakes express ur feelings...GOOD LUCK

Answer 9

I think a letter is a great way to make sure you are able to convey everything you want to say. Often times, while talking face to face, you lose track of many of the important points you want to make. A letter reduces the chance of being interrupted with argument or her opinion while you have the chance to make those important points. In the letter, make sure that she knows her feedback, argument and opinion are very important and welcome at any time, as well as face to face confrontation/discussion, which is just as important as getting what you feel across to her. Finally, it may not work out the way you want. She may already be past any discussion of a relationship with you, but at least you will have tried and you can leave the relationship knowing you did your best.

Answer 10

Honestly if you are a person who is more comfortable about writing a letter then do so. If you feel that is the only you are going to be able to comfortably tell her the way you feel then it is an awsome idea. When you write things down you are sometimes able to be more truthful and you don't forget the things you want to say. Make it personal though so she knows you really want things to work out for the best. However, out of respect for her make the next conversation out loud. I resort to letters especially when I can't make out what my mind really wants to say when I'm being verbal! Everybodys different she'll repsect your efforts!