my daughter is 16, she is talking to a 20 yr, old guy on the computer & on the phone late at nite.?????

Answer 1

Let her know that you disapprove. If she insists on continuing or goes behind your back, revoke her phone and computer privileges. Your house, your rules. Sometimes you just have to be the parent.

Either that, or prepare to be a grandparent.

Answer 2

Not sure what state your in, or country, but as long as they are only talking, their is no crime being committed. HOWEVER, you should monitor what's going on, if you have access to her computer, read what they are saying to each other. She is a minor, and he is not.

There are several avenues you can venture down. One would be to tell her to stop writing him. This could cause problems, and eventually lead her to keep doing it, as it's now 'forbidden'.

Another would be to email/write him and let him know how old your daughter is, and if he persists in any type of relationship, you will contact the police. If that doesn't scare him off, then your next step would be contacting your local police department and alerting them to what's going on. (you can do this now, but there probably won't be much they can do, as nothing is happening except emails and chat.)

Contacting the police now will do a couple things. Alert them to a possible problem (if they take a report, at least there is now paperwork about the situation). They might have better advice than people her can give you, as they know the laws not only in your specific state but also in your county/city.

Keep an eye on what's going on, a 20 yr old male should be aware of what could happen if he seeks a relationship with a 16 yr old female.

Answer 3

Not really sure what the question is here, but first, lets not base this completely on age. I say that, b/c well, I was younger and dated older guys, but that was me. I had a good head on my shoulders and always ran with older people. I was smart when it came to decisions I made. Heck, I'm still dating people about 8 years older than me..with that being said it is normal to have reservations aobut a 16 year old and a 20 year old, b/c basically they are on two different lifestyles...and often times a 20 year old, esp male, can be sneaky esp with a 16 year old girl.
If you disapprove tell her, but don't just say I don't want it to happen..explain why, as in her getting hurt and how it's techincally beyond in appropriate but illegal for him to have a sexual type relationship with her. Esp. if they met on the internet and whatnot. The internet/child porn abduction world is scary.. However, give her a fair shot to explain the situation on her behalf. Perhaps, it really is just all good honesty and a great working relationship, and perhaps it's not..but in the end she'll appreciate you listening to her and trying to understand her perspective. Bottom line..talk to her about it. Treat her like a mature person, and talk to hre about real life.

Answer 4

I would say talk to her as if you are interested, because then she will honestly talk to you....
Then give her, CALMLY, your opinion that it is not acceptable because although she is an amazing person, clearly he is trying to take advantage of her...
put it in perspective for her, that would be like her dating a 12 year old ya know...
DEFINITELY meet him!! maybe even before you offer your opinion! That way she thinks you 'gave him a chance'. Yeah befoer you agree to let him take her out tell her to have him over for dinner so you can meet him.

Then talk to her about how you don't think it's a good idea, because she's such a catch that she get anyone she wanted, why go for a skeezy 20 year old!

Whatever you do, DON'T make her feel like you are the enemy. that will push her away and right into the guy's arms.
I hope everything works out for the best!

Good luck, and I hope your daughter stays safe!

Answer 5

Well i was taken care of my 15yearold sister and they were the same but then we didnt have a computer so she met them in the streets there isnt much u can do but talk to them and try to protect them from getten hurt or pregant and tell her what ever she does stay in school no drugsand put her on birthcontrol.and sorry to say let her go slowly cause once they go u have to step back a bit and watch keep close eye let her see the hard way but if it does go that way whatever u do dont say i told u so.just hold her and then try to get her to open up more/tell her shes not buy her self and youll be there for anything.u may not agree with it 100%but youll love her always throu anything.

Answer 6

i might first ask to fulfill this individual and function a heart to heart communicate with him and his mom and dad if needed with regard to the risks of him having a courting with an underage lady. If he's unwilling to speak to you or meet with you - this ought to be a real "purple flag". I then might heavily evaluate shifting the pc to a room the place she won't have get entry to to it with out parental supervision. If that's not accessible - you could do away with the keyboard at night if needed. You do have a appropriate to restrict her telephone use considering which you are the single ( i anticipate) who will pay the fees. i understand there are those obtainable who think of i'm overreacting - yet there are countless incidents of older adult males preying on young women - exceedingly by way of the internet. We those days had a case in our community the place a 14 year previous became speaking on the pc with what she theory became an 18 year previous boy. The "boy" grew to become out to be a 40 4 year previous infant predator who talked her right into a late night assembly at an area park the place she became raped by ability of him and a selection of of alternative of his friends. I wager her mom and dad want that they had "overreacted" formerly that befell! whether he's being honest approximately his age - 20 year olds have no corporation in relationships with sixteen year olds. not something solid can come of it. Stand company in this one mom!

Answer 7

When I was her age, I did the same thing.. except 20 was always too young for me.. My mom had to deal with me talking to people in their late-20s, 30s, 40s.. Most of my phone calls stuck to people in their late 20s though.. Most of the people didn't know how old I was. I didn't lie about my age; I just never stated it and most believed me to be much older than what I was. Your daughter might be searching for more mature and wordly conversations..

She probably is horny and having cyber and/or phone sex with him. I would suggest talking to her and encouraging these actions. At least they are alternatives and SAFE compared to sex with fellow high school students (many high schools these days are rampent with STDs due to experimental teenagers).

Let her know quite firmly that you know what is going on, encourage frank sexual discussion between the two of you (it might be hell for you, but she needs it right now), and absolutely forbid her to meet anyone from online right now. Inform her of the dangers of predators online. If you can, have her watch some of the Dateline "To Catch a Predator" series. They successfully show how many perverted men are out there looking to just seduce and lie to young girls online in an attempt to meet and have sex with one another.

You want to make your daughter know that sex is ok, but for right now she needs to be careful who she talks sexually with and to keep it within safe boundaries.

Answer 8

A four year difference isn't that bad. It's the same thing is she were a freshman in high school dating a senior. Give her good advice and then give a little space. If she wants to date this guy, she'll do it with or without you knowing. It's better not to push her away. If the late night calls bother you, set a phone cerfew, but it has to apply to all her friends, not just him.

Answer 9

Not trying to be rude but if you want to help your daughter you need to explain the differences in age that they have and why you feel they shouldn't get into anything for one because she is a minor and second your the parent an she is the child.

Answer 10

You're the parent so you can pretty much control who she talks to in your home. She shouldn't be talking to a 20 year old. 4 years is a huge difference at their ages in terms of maturity and the legal aspect I might add. It's not illegal that they talk of course, but one thing leads to another. The next thing you know, she'll be wanting to meet him.