about everything. she wont even comprimise on anything. i try to make her see my side, but all she ever does is interrupt me or say "you better figure something out yada yada", ino hter words, i better take her side or nothing at all, then she threatens to take away my electronic things. it irritates me that she wont sit down and listen to what i have to say, because she assumes shes always right. is anyone else having this problem??
2006-09-12 10:56:07 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How old are you? It sounds like you are willing to talk things out with her, which is a good sign. Keep a level head and a sense of maturity about you. If you make valid points, she won't be able to help but listen. If that doesn't work, how would you feel about going to couseling with her? Is that something that she would agree to?
2006-09-12 11:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by sweetsunflowergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're mother sounds like a really controlling person. I can't tell you really what to do here. My mother was the complete opposite and let me do pretty much whatever I wanted.
The first thing I suggest is that you say this to your mom, "Mom, can I say something to you with you just listening? Please just listen and don't say anything because I need to get this off of my chest." Tell her that it hurts you when she talks over you, that you feel frustrated and angry that you can't get your opinions out, and that you just want to be heard. If she argues, tell her you want to go to family counseling with her. It may be that she has a problem. It may also be that you are overreacting, which teenagers can do (I did), so be aware of the way you react to her as well.
Parents think that they are protecting their children by not allowing them to make up their own minds, but they are really hurting you when they do this. You need to be able to learn to make your own decisions from an early age, at least on some of the things in your life, or you'll never learn to be independent. I'm not saying that you should be able to go out until 1 am with friends your parents don't know, but there are things that they should be able to trust you with, especially if you've shown them that you are trustworthy, get good grades, and don't get into trouble.
If you feel as if your mother doesn't listen, perhaps you can write out a letter explaining exactly how you feel about a subject before you talk to her about it. Hand it to her first. When she asks what it is, just tell her you feel that she doesn't listen to your opinions, so you thought you'd write her a letter so she could see them before arguing back that you are wrong. Try to be nice about it, because it sounds like she's rather argumentative.
You can also bring a pad of paper and a pen with you when you are talking to her so that you can take notes on what she says and how you want to answer her. This way, when she interrupts, you can just make a note of it and write her a letter about how you feel. I know that this sounds complicated, but when someone just won't listen, sometimes you have to write a letter so they can actually SEE how you feel.
Honestly, I had a boyfriend who would argue everything with me, when I'd try to disagree, he'd talk right over me and I'd never get a word in edgewise. I left him because he was a control freak. Unfortunately, you can't leave your mom! You'll have to deal with it for the time being.
2006-09-12 18:10:37 · answer #2 · answered by J B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What a pickle to be in! So sorry life's tough on you right now. My mom and I see the world very differently and have for many years, but as time goes on it is getting better. When you do have more freedom in your life I'm sure that you will be surprised at how much patience you have when dealing with lots of other frustrating people! :) One thing that helped me was watching my mom and trying to list the things that drove me nuts so that I won't do the same thing to my children... :) Good luck and God bless you!
2006-09-12 20:28:48 · answer #3 · answered by Wondering 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a mom of 3 kids and sometimes it's just that we're frustrated about having such a huge role and responsibility for our children that we get angry easily, but that doesn't mean we don't love our children or that your mother doesn't love you...maybe right now she's just going through a lot of things and it just seems that when you argue with each other she probably feels that the situation is not getting better but worse...trust me she loves you very much but maybe instead of figting with her find time to sit down with her and just talk about it...maybe it might help the both of you with your relationship
2006-09-12 18:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by lilsweetone619 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter and I always fight. But I noticed when we keep our voices at a low level that the truth comes out and issues are better explained. More feelings are expressed. Yes it's hard to do when you feel like jacking the other up. Try not to play the blame game. Express things as " It hurts my feelings when ......." or " I love you and want you to trust me. It matters to me that you ........ because it scares me. Try it might work. If not it shows a sign of maturity.
2006-09-12 18:03:20 · answer #5 · answered by FANNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM 37 and i still dont get alog with my mom. so i dont have an answer wait till u are old enough to be on your own adn then dont ever talk to her again!Some motheres are controlling and jealous of their daughters, maybe she has you best interest at heart but your right she should sit down and at least listen to you. Tell her your pregnant nd maybe that will get her attention then say u need to have a heaert to hert and if u cant talk to her then who should u talk to . I dont know do u have a dad? if so then talk to him good luck sweety u sound very bright but unfortunately mothers arent perfect as much as wed like them to be. Sray strong and talk to someone who will listen to you. Good Luck.
2006-09-12 18:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by europe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds almost like me and my mom, just find things that both of you like and just forget everything and enjoy it, then I the next time you fight it will be less severe, that's what I think........
2006-09-12 18:02:53 · answer #7 · answered by orimoon3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok tell her this. Mom, see this is wut im thinking. we should________ so thats just how i see it but wut do u think? and maybe she can be nice. keep ur voices low. just say it like u say it to ur skool principal cuz u dont wanna get in trouble right? and u know wut? u and ur mom fight cuz u guys r soo alike! u may not see it, but thats how it is. by the way me and mom have the same issue e-mail me sometime alwayz_have_a_smile_on@yahoo.com
2006-09-12 18:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be she think that your not well grown enough .. i mean your maturity.. just prove it that you can too handle things.
2006-09-12 18:03:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋