I am a mother of a 2 year old who will be 3 next month her name is Isabella and i love her too death. I honestly never thought i could ever love someone this much. But i am afraid my parents did most of her raising for me this is my last year of college and my parents have decided to retire not too far still in the tri-state area. I have an apartment (rented)and my parents covered my tuition thus far and still do. I have a job part time i make about 800 dollars a week it pays for my books and anything else i may need but am concerned this might not be enough. The area the apartment is in does have frat houses and the like one is next door. For the most part they keep it down. My daughter has been with me living for three days and crys a lot today i was called out of class to go pick her up from daycare. How can i help her adapt better? I really cant afford to leave class?
2006-09-12 10:51:15 · 13 answers · asked by cassandra h 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am trying my best and my boyfriend of almost a year would like to meet her but i am not sure how she will react ?Before this i saw my daughter on the weekends when i came home and the summer or whenever i had free time.
2006-09-12 10:52:14 · update #1
yes i really do make that much the small buisness i work for is owned by my aunt it is her way of helping me out but i do really work hard for her.
2006-09-12 10:53:03 · update #2
Good time to test out your boyfriend's parenting skills.
You need someone to back you up and pick her up at daycare if need be, that kind of thing. Any other mom friends you can work with who you can pay for their help?
This is how you start your own community.
Can you skip a semester to get more comfortable with the parenting?
2006-09-12 10:55:30 · answer #1 · answered by auntiegrav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a lot for a 2 year old to understand and hard for you as a mother to understand as well. For 2 years although you love the child, she has known your parents as her primary care giver and now all of a sudden that has switched and she doesn't understand. I know it is a lot for her to take on at once but let your boyfriend meet her and become a part of her life, if he loves you and you have been together a year it is time that he forms a relationship with the child. Maybe it is the daycare you have her in that is causing her to be so unhappy during the day, check around and find a grandmotherly type that babysits (make sure to get references and check them out) sometimes if a child is in a smaller place with more one on one time they adapt better. Not only that but a lot of kids have issues with daycare, my son would scream bloody murder the first three hours he was with the sitter but eventually he calmed down when he realized mommy was coming back, remember she has been through a lot of change in a short time. As for the money first I have decided over the years it doesn't matter what you make when you have kids it is never enough but you do what you have to and cut back on things to make it cover what has to be and forget what is just the wants in life. You are still young and finishing school which is to be commended on your part and your parents for supporting you and caring for your child while you do, but what about the childs father? Make him pay some support to help support this child you didn't create her on your own. Make sure your daughter still has contact with your parents and maintains a relationship with them. Also have you tried talking to your proffessors and explaining the situation to them? I know I had to leave a few weeks before mid-terms due to a high risk pregnancy and my proffessors were great and worked with me to keep me from falling behind. Good luck to you.
2006-09-12 20:03:31 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does her dad pay child support. If I ran a daycare I would not call the parents if a child cried. If the daycare is properly staffed someone should have been able to take her and sit with her to try to comfort her. I used to be a nanny for a little girl that had screaming temper tantrums, and I didn't call her mom at work to come home! I would sue her dad for child support and make him pay for a different day care center that is better able to take care of her, or try to find a private baby sitter. Try going to www.craigslist.com. The childcare section is full of stay-at home moms willing to watch a child in their home, and it may be cheaper than the day care. As far as your b/f is concerned, start slow. Maybe go to the park and have him meet you there, just to get them used to each other. Maybe she will let him push her on the swings. After that, maybe dinner at Mc Donald's, something kid friendly.
2006-09-12 18:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember that children are creatures of habit. If she has spent the first three years of her life (practically) living with your parents and just having you visit once in a while, then it's a major life change that you just put her through by moving her in with you. You have to give her time to adjust. Just remember to be patient, give her lots of hugs and kisses and keep telling her that you love her. She'll eventually get used to the situation. As for dropping out of school, you'll both be better off in the long run if you graduate (better job opportunities, more stable economic life, etc). I really wish you luck in this.
2006-09-12 17:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by Jenni77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep trying. That's all you can do. Do your best to be patient with her. Don't try to make up for lost time, just be the best Mom you can now. She'll adjust eventually. As far as your boyfriend, she won't understand what a boyfriend is. She'll just know she's meeting someone new. Just make sure she has some stability in her life, in other words don't have your boyfriends coming in and out of her life, that will confuse you. I know you only have one boyfriend, I was just telling you in case you have different ones later on. Good Luck, I know you can do it.
2006-09-12 17:56:07 · answer #5 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will do just fine. It sounds to me like you are just scared because it is almost like a new experience for you. She is your daughter...she loves you with all her heart and looks up to you. Yes, you may make a few mistakes at first, but it sounds like you will make the right choices for her, and yourself overall. If your boyfriend is honestly interested in meeting her, let him. Let him get involved slowly at first. Do things together, and see how the two interact, then take it from there. See if there is a MOPS chapter (Mothers of preschoolers) group in town.....it is usually younger moms, and will help you out a lot. It is a group that you can do things with, talk to, etc. .....you'll do great!!!
2006-09-12 17:59:58 · answer #6 · answered by diamond_deb_2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a very lucky girl... Some will consider you selfish for leaving your child to get educated i hoever am not one of those.. You daughter is in a strange place she is very much use to a rouine that was put in place by your parents, maybe you should find out what that routine was and do it unil she seems more at ease. Another idea that came to me was if there are pictures of your mom&dad hang them all around her ( lower than normal so she can see them.) If your daughter has her own room maybe you could get your moms purfume,lotions,candles anything really that reminds her of their smell this could put her at eaSE.
Talk to her i don't recommend in baby voice but short ans sweet telling her that her and mommy are going to live together now and you love her so much.. Another idea i just had is give her pictures when you leave in her lunch bad on her book bag, you could even make her a neklace and tell her when she is sad and lonley to just look at the pictures..
As for your boyfriend maybe another distraction could help as long as he understands that jusy like with your heart he has to prtect and love your little girl..
2006-09-12 18:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mellisa C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
actually, I wouldn't considerchanging jobs....$800 is good...if you changed, you'd be getting a pay cut.
Yes, I think you should allow your boyfriend to meet her...his family may end up being able to help you some times, if needed.
But she'll stop crying as she begins to adjust...she's in shock right now, because everything is new to her. You have to give her more time.
It may be a good idea, to take her on a small walking tour of places in your neighborhood....& tell her things that may make her smile.
2006-09-12 17:59:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the advice I have is probably what you don't want to hear. I had my precious little girl when I was just 18, 2 months after graduating high school......and I chose to raise her myself. She was always happy, and adapted to every life change we ever had. She is graduating high school this year, with honors, and will be in college next year studying medicine.
I never went to college. I was a mom. I had bigger things to do with my life, and that young lady's strength and love is more powerful than any diploma hanging on the wall.
Maybe this is your chance to stop being selfish. Do you want to be a student, or a mom? Put up or shut up.
p.s. - success came to me anyway. I now own my own company, and have a wonderful life. . . maybe because I put her life before mine, when I could have easily continued "my" chosen path.
you "really cant afford to leave class"???!! you are the most selfish mother I've ever heard. last year of college? oh, pooooor you.
2006-09-12 17:58:35 · answer #9 · answered by Stormy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think that before you boyfriend meets your daughter you should get her comfortable with her surroundings maybe a day that you dont have school you should take her to the daycare and stay with her for a little while let her know that its okay to feel the way she does...i also think that you should spend a day relaxing being to yourself being away from shool,parenting,and work... good luck
2006-09-12 18:01:33 · answer #10 · answered by Pepperpaige 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋