I've been with my boo for 2 years but no matter what I do he doesn't trust me to go out by my self especially after I got raped by a friend of his. i've tried to get over this and I want to move on and go out plz tell me what to do.
2006-09-12 10:34:44 · 17 answers · asked by Raycheal D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
maybe both of you should go through counceling together. What happened to you is a big deal. I can see him wanting to be protective.
2006-09-12 10:37:16 · answer #1 · answered by lorgurus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people want to place the responsibility for trust in a relationship on someone else. They base their trust on how someone acts towards them. We've discovered that trust in a relationship doesn't start with someone else. It starts with you and how willing you are to open up and allow the other person in.
If you're having trust issues in a relationship, we suggest examining your own thoughts, feelings and issues from the past that have yet to be healed first before looking outward to blame someone else. We also suggest taking a step forward into love instead of fear every chance you get.
2006-09-12 10:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jenni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His trust is in you, its the other people he doesn't trust. And for that matter, he probably doesn't trust himself to be able to protect you very well seeing how it was one of HIS friends that raped you. This is something that he is going to have to work through as far as the trusting you to be able to care for yourself. Take some self defense classes and let him go with you, that might do the trick and bring you both even closer. blessed be.
2006-09-12 10:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe trust is earned.You need to sit down with each other and have an heart to heart.If you don't have trust than you don't have much of an relationship.So tell him that you love him but you are going to be alright.It sound like it to me he cares for you and just wants you to be safe.If you have already been raped once maybe he is afraid if something happens to you thins time he will lose you for ever!You guys need to set some guide lines for you guys to go out apart and maybe he will feel better about you going without him!GOOD LUCK!
2006-09-12 10:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by lisababyg ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well here's the thing since you got raped is he not trustin you or for you to go out alone and still be safe? If he isn't trustin you and its been two years then he prolly never will and thats not good at all. Every relationship needs trust or eventually it will fail. If he isn't trustin that you'll be safe then to me thats showing he cares otherwise it wouldn't matter what you did.
2006-09-12 10:39:17 · answer #5 · answered by K@t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop him. If he can not be supportive of you instead of blaming YOU for being raped, you deserve better.
Find a man who supports you, forgives you and trusts you.
Life is too short to waste on a man who doesn't.
2006-09-12 10:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to respect his distrust of others. He is not distrusting you... he is protecting you. If you tell him that you understand why he is so untrusting of others he may open up to you.
You getting raped in front of him was probably very painful for him. He feels your pain, maybe you need to feel his.
Open communication will work in the long run. Good luck!
2006-09-12 10:36:49 · answer #7 · answered by Scooter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'll tell you what you should do.
you dump him. he has problems with you and HIS friend raped you? He can't trust YOU? are you hearing what you are saying?? why on earth would you want someone like this in your life and potentially become your husband. get out while you aren't bound by a marriage contract!!
2006-09-12 10:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by jami p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that in order for your relationship to work, he has to trust you. Trust is very important in every relationship.
2006-09-12 10:37:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can do really is do what you need to do for yourself and im sure youve talked to him about everything and i know your thankful for him caring for you but sometimes you just have to live life for yourself . and he will eventually get over it and if he doesnt then the 2 of you wasnt meant to be. he may feel like thats his fault what happened to u and controling you is his way of protecting you. but do what you feel you should.
2006-09-12 10:39:31 · answer #10 · answered by rocs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋