I slept with his friend!?

Question

Facts...
1) April 25...I got with my boyfriend
2) First two months....wasn't feeling the relationship cus I wasn't ready to be tied down.
3) Within those two months his friend and I got really close and saw in each other what we wanted for ourselves but couldn't date cause he was moving away and I was with his guy.
4) June 23 I slept with his guy friend.
5) June 24 his guy friend left and went to live in a whole other state.
6) July 8 my boyfriend and I made the first step in getting closer to each other.
7) August 25 my boyfriend and I get serious about each other.
7) September 8 found out his guy friend told two other of his friends that we slept together...we all got to the same small university and know each other and hang out with each other and now I'm afraid that my boyfriend will find out.
The question: Should I tell my boyfriend before he finds out or let this one play out?

Answer 1

UGGGHHHH!!!!
1. Don't make this mistake again.
2. Keep your mouth shut! As some men would say "If you didn't see me do it, it didn't happen". Deny....Deny...Deny

Answer 2

Tell him, if you want to keep him. If you let it "play out" it will be ugly. It's ugly enough without the dishonesty or omission. Explain how you feel about both to him. It seems like you gave yourself away to the guy's friend as a "goodbye" present, or maybe a last ditch effort to get him to take you with him.

Here's the really tough one: if I were the current boyfriend I would worry about your apparently casual view of sex, and also would wonder why you didn't let our relationship grow and just sleep with me instead. You've got some explaining to do, and it's not going to be easy.

Sex is precious, not something to engage in lightly. Despite what our culture wants to say (if it feels good do it, go for it, whatever), in your boyfriend's mind, unless he was sleeping with someone else during that same time (reminds me of an old song "Human," by Human League), he's going to wonder about future repeats of the episode.

Are you going to commit to him? Is this a guy you might marry? If he stays around he's going to expect you to give yourself to him soon, too. But if he doesn't stay you're better off without him. If he stays you're lucky and he can prove he's a good man. But don't let him hold this over your head forever. Forgiveness is also an essential ingredient of a good relationship (not that I'd go around looking for reasons to apologize).

If he leaves, let him go, and go about living your life until a good man comes along. Don't go looking for another guy. He'll find you.

Good luck!

Answer 3

BF is going to find out if he hangs with friends who know. Who do you think he would rather hear it from, another person or from you? If you guessed "You", you are correct. He will not only feel betrayed when he finds out, but if his friends knew about it first and brought it to him, it's also embarrassing. Now he's not only been cheated on and been embarrassed, but he will be feeling like a fool as well because he was the "last one to know". If one of these friends-in-the-know also happen to be a guy friend of his, he will likely find out soon. Guys usually don't keep this stuff from each other. I would tell him asap, it's going to be hard but it will only be worse if you don't.

Answer 4

You better tell him before he hears from someone else. If you weren't ready to be "tied down" why didn't you just tell him that you'd prefer dating him and not be in a serious relationship? He's going to be really upset, especially if he finds out that other people knew about it and he was fooled by both you and his friend. Be prepared to possibly have him end the relationship...he might not be able to trust you after this.

Answer 5

well if your serious about your boyfriend now then you have 2 choices. Tell him and explain it was before we were serious. Or let it play out. The results will be the same. If he finds out and questions you, let him know it was before you 2 were serious and you didn't bring it up because you didn't think he would want to know. just like you didn't want to here about his previous times. It will either continue or end.

Answer 6

I think if you don't tell him that you slept with his friend, than things will get more serious in your relationship, and his heart will be broken. People do forgive people for cheating, its when you keep it a secret than it becomes worse. You don't want the guy to tell your boyfriend himself, or use that against you,so find a way to tell him calmly.

Answer 7

You were not thinking with your head you were thinking with what was between your legs at the time. You made a mess out of a one night stand with your boyfriends friend. I would tell him the truth before it comes to bite you in the ***.

Answer 8

I would not want to be in your shoes, It could turn real ugly if you dont sort this one out.

you have two options lie and deny, or tell the truth and either way someones going to be crying. What you should have done is kept your legs closed and not slept with his mate and you wouldnt have been in this situation.

Answer 9

you should. really everyone makes mistakes.

when i was working at a retirement home i cheated on my man with some guy and then later (stupid me) hooked my mans friend up with a job and he found out and told my man.

my man forgave me but he said that he would rather have heard it from me than his friend.

just tell him the truth and you will feel a lot better.

Answer 10

First of all you knew that they are friends and one day it would go that direction.Now,if you really care about your relationship-you should talk to your boyfriend ASAP.There is a chance that he would appreciate you being honest with him.
GOOD LUCK! and don't that mistake ever again.

Answer 11

He'll probably break up with you either way. Do you want it to happen sooner or later? IMHO, you're too immature to be having sex if you can't sort this emotional & psychological stuff out any better than this.