She will be 18 in Feb but she is insisting on completely disobeying us. Forget restrictions and penalties etc because she just runs away each time you impose any kind of rule on her. Right now it looks like she planning on leaving our state and moving to another state. What is our exposure as far as liability for her? She refuses to stay home. She is 4 months away from her 18th birthday. HELP??
2006-09-12 09:06:23 · 36 answers · asked by military brat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
after birth abortion. this is your only choice in the situation.
2006-09-12 09:08:02 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin H 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sit her down and have a straight talk. You are 17 and I am responsible for you. In four months you will be 18. So until that time you need to suck it up a obey our rules. you can't leave before this time or I will have you picked up and sent to boot camp. Now lets make the best of these 4 months and get a long. But just for the record I still don't want you to move out. After you are 18 and you want to stay here we will discuss some new rules.
2006-09-12 09:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by xeson1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best advice that can be given is like some of the others have said...check what the legal liability to you is if she gets into any trouble out there. We went through something familiar with our daughter a few years back, and I talked to the police and an attorney, and in our state the age was 17.
I know it doesn't change any of the frustration that you are experiencing, but you have to make sure that you are alright no matter what.
I hope for the best for you and her.
2006-09-12 09:18:39 · answer #3 · answered by buttercup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez: good luck! Mine is a few weeks shy of her 19th birthday and decided to move with her boyfriend into the (trailer) home of another school buddy and his parents. The parents have been told that she's not been kicked out, that if she comes home, she won't be in trouble, etc., but they're still letting them stay there. She's decided to drop out of school, has no driver's license, no job...but she's has "freedom"!
With the way kids are allowed by law to pretty much call the authorities on their parents for any discipline, I predict the majority of this entire generation will end up as unhappy adults who won't want to accept anything less than instant gratification.
2006-09-12 09:11:13 · answer #4 · answered by dragonwing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is really ready to leave the nest. This behavior is very normal, but it feels awful. How have you helped her transition into becoming responsible for herself? Have you started allowing freedoms to help her into adulthood? Or have you still treated her like the 5 year old you wish she still was?
Sometimes you see severe behavior when Mom or Dad is hanging on a little too tightly. If she is going to leave anyway, you might need to relax your rules a bit and let her mess up a while. In her mind she is ready. It doesn't really matter to her what the law states. She is an adult in her mind and this train might be hard to stop.
2006-09-12 09:12:59 · answer #5 · answered by Kelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go. She has to see how hard life is on her own. If she's 4 months from 18, I'm guessing when she hits 18 she'll be gone. It may be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but if she thinks that she's an adult, then let her have adult responsibilities. One day she'll look back and realize that you were right and only wanted the best for her.
Hang in there!
2006-09-12 09:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by Gina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that when she turns 18 you will no longer have liability for her actions. Until then you might. Check your state Attorney General or equivalent office. In Michigan 17 is a "grey area" where you COULD have liability but might not. In Michigan 18 absolves you of legal responsibility in most cases unless you encouraged the behavior or were somehow instigating it.
2006-09-12 09:09:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and seek out help within your community for services that may assist you. For example, counseling programs that may help you identify the underlying reasons for your daughter's disobedience. Is your daughter trying to get your attention? I would also check your legal rights and obligations by speaking with an attorney. As you will soon realize, most teenagers need the opportunity to make their own mistakes. As a parent, fundamental guidance and encouragement can do wonders in reversing bad behaviour. Best of luck as I have an 18 year old as well. If you ever need someone to talk to..please contact me. Thanks
2006-09-12 09:27:12 · answer #8 · answered by bluemoody40 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough Love!! Mine will be 19 this year and at 18 yrs old exactly, she moved out to be near a boyfriend. 3 1/2 months later; out of money, no boyfriend, and overdue rent, she was back at home. She came home with a tattoo of the boyfriend (name) and several piercings. Now she wants me to pay for laser removal, and most of the piercings have closed up. Life was sooooo hard on her at home she needed to move and have her "freedom", now freedom for her is sleeping without worrying about the rent, gas, water, food and electricity. I think she quickly found an appreciation for home. Let her go,,,,
2006-09-12 09:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she runs away again, call the police and report it. You'll have to call an attorney to get legal advice on what your liability exposure is. If that's your main concern about her running away, then perhaps she's justified in doing so. Doesn't sound like she's gettng much love.
2006-09-12 09:14:00 · answer #10 · answered by rosecitylady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is going to be responsible for herself soon anyway...so I'd say let her go. Give her freedom and let her make the mistakes she is going to make anyway...no matter what you do. Let her know you love her and will be there when she needs you. She'll come back...I promise. Let her know you've been strict and stressed out about her lately because you love her and are afraid she'll get hurt in some way. You know you need to let her go, and to make her own decisions...but it's because you love her so much is why you try to hold on...and ask her to be gentle with you if she can. Tell her you will try harder to give her more freedom, and to let go....but will always worry and want to know she is safe. Try to be her friend now...she's 18..that's what she needs from you. After age 18...I don't know about the law stuff.....
Mother of 16 almost 17 year old....and gently and slowly giving her freedom (you have to! they will take it anyway)
2006-09-12 09:13:58 · answer #11 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋