Well my girlfriend invited me over to her mom's house for dinner which I thought was really nice. However, the whole time we had dinner, my girlfriend, her mom, and her sister kept talking about stupid women's "issues" and then talked about past memories they shared with different people but I had no idea who these people were. I thought it was very rude, but I didn't say anything. Well, I had plenty to eat and then her mom is like okay time for dessert. I told her politely, "no thank you, i'm very full but it was delicious". She basically ignored me and told me I needed to eat more and that I needed to gain weight and i was too skinny, etc. Again, rudeness to me...by about that time I had enough and I was like okay fine. I'll make room for dessert so I gagged myself and made myself throw up on my plate. My girlfriend was extremely embarassed and her mom just stood there. My girlfriend said I needed to go. Now she wants me to apoligize to her and her mom. Should I?
2006-09-12 09:02:41 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow. You actually made yourself throw up on your plate? That's gross. Yeah, you should definately apologize. Tell her you're not sure why you did it, but her food was so good, you'd already stuffed yourself and you were trying to make more room. Tell her you didn't mean to insult or gross her out, and that you now realize just how inappropriate it was. Assure her that it's not something you normally do, and that you were just really nervous and not acting like yourself at the time. Don't tell her you thought her behavior was rude, because even if she was being pushy, you're just going to upset her more and make the apology sound insincere if you try to put any of the blame on her.
It would have been more tactful if you'd just taken a few bites of the dessert, told her it was great but you really couldn't eat anymore, and asked if it'd be ok if you took the rest home with you to savor later. Or, if you really needed to throw up (some people do have sensitive stomachs to overeating), at least you could have excused yourself to the bathroom and turned on a faucet so they couldn't hear you very well. At least that way, if they did think something was up, you could have pretended that you suddenly felt ill, which would have required no apology or excuse other than reassurances that it wasn't the food.
I'm curious, do you do that often? What possessed you to self-induce vomiting at the dinner table, anyway? I know you thought you were doing a good thing at the time, but now they think there's something seriously wrong with you. Sorry, hon, but that one's going to be really difficult to get past.
I would have found her mom's comments rude, too, but she probably thinks she's making small talk, so take the comment about being too skinny as a compliment rather than a jab at your personal apperance. She's pushy about the food because she takes pride in her cooking, thinks that feeding you equals to being a good hostess. The rule of thumb that I usually go by is to at least try everything your offered. If you serve yourself, then only take what you can eat, if she serves then try everything, but you don't have to eat it all. As long as you try everything, if she still gets upset with you, then she's just being childish. If you don't try everything, then you're prejudging her cooking, assuming that you won't like it (or at least that's how it looks to the hostess), so it is important that you at least try to sample everything unless you have food allergies. Like I said before, if you can't eat it all and she's upset about that, you can always smooth it over by telling her it's so good you'd like to take the rest of it home for later if she wouldn't mind.
2006-09-12 09:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you taken leave of your senses? Do you REALLY "think" this is a viable question, at all?
First off, there was/is a better way of handling this situation and it's called "civilization". Others have been faced with this situation from the first recording of the history of humankind and others have politely insisted on "being full", as you were, and have let the remarks about "being too skinny" slide.
What you did is TOTALLY barbaric. You voluntarily made yourself throw up and you made a "big scene" of it and a total disgrace out of yourself. This is disgusting and I'm surprised your girlfriend is having ANYTHING, whatsoever, to do with you.
Your girlfriend is the one whom I should "speak to" as to WHY she thinks you're worth bothering with.
2006-09-12 16:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by Seneca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like ur gf u probably should. I mean it was not nice for them to talk about their issues at the dinner table or to talk about your weight- thats just plain rude!. But there is a better way for you could have handled the situation...so i think it is a good idea for you to apoligize.
2006-09-12 16:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by coolkat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that was extremely rude.
If you felt uncomfortable about their topics of conversations, why didn't you try to change the subject?
I'm going to assume that your girlfriend is from a european background. And her mom "forcing" the food on you is a typical thing. My boyfriend mom after 3 years still asks me if I want anything to eat even if we're on our way out to diner. It's just the way it is, so get use to it. They don't want anyone to walk away from their table still hungry. You just need to continue being firm and polite with them letting them know that everything was delicious but that you are really full and don't want anymore food.
If you want to be sick, excuse yourself and go to the washroom. I would have kick you out of the house too if I was your girlfriend.
2006-09-12 16:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh...yes. You need to apologize. What were you thinking? Why would you do something like that? No matter if your full and they were being rude. You can discuss the rudeness later with your girlfriend in private later. That is the craziest thing I have ever heard.
2006-09-12 16:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by Xena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay you pretty much made up for their rudeness by throwing up on the table. If your really into this girl you need to apologize, if not don't even bother it sounds like she's as rude as the rest of her family.
2006-09-12 16:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by eld13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to apoligize. What if you end up marrying your g/f? You should start off with a good start with your mother in law. You dont want any problems with them,... trust me!
2006-09-12 16:04:56 · answer #7 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oppoligize to her and her mom,. but don't act childish, ignore your gf for a while, and then tell her that you think that is wasn't very fair of her mom to treat you like that, also , make sure you invite your bf over to your house for dinner!!! maybe if your mom treats her with respect she will treat you with some. go get er.....
2006-09-12 16:11:30 · answer #8 · answered by HaiHai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. That was a horrible thing to do.
Next time have a stronger backbone instead of resorting to such childish behavior.
2006-09-12 16:05:10 · answer #9 · answered by Billy! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would apologize but tell her you will not be eating over for awhile. One should never over eat. Stay home for a day or so give it a break.
2006-09-12 16:05:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋