OKay so I went out with Derek. Derek was my first serious boyfriend. First love. He was my everything. We dated for 10 months and broke up over the summer. Its been almost two years and now I am with Casey, my boyfriend of a year. My question is....Is it normal to not want to forget your first love? Like I don't have have feelings for him anymore, but like everytime Casey makes fun of him or calls him gay which is ALL THE TIME, I get upset. Casey gets mad and thinks its because I still have feelings for him..This is like an every week fight.. And I freakin hate it. I haven't even talked to Derek in a year..
What to do?
<3Andrea
2006-09-12 08:28:16 · 33 answers · asked by ANDREA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
DEREK??
2006-09-12 08:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by tom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If Casey is making fun of Derek it's because he's jealous. Plain and simple. Derek was probably a very nice guy and it ended friendly. So why is Casey making jokes? He's not a nice guy. I know it's been a year, but maybe it's time to move from this one, too. I dated my first love for 5 years...he broke my heart tremendously and I still would care if her were hurt or something. Not really interested in his new life without me, cuz I have my new life to live. I say if you can talk to Casey, then do so and ask him not to poke fun and if he can't then he's gotta go.
2006-09-12 08:33:41 · answer #2 · answered by Chelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is hard to kind of get over your first boyfriend especially if it was your first love...But maybe Casey is right, maybe you do still have feelings for your ex and don't even realize it. Especially if you're being defensive towards him when he talks about him. Something like that should never bother you. Anyway you all need to sit and really talk about your true feelings for Casey and Derek...It will definitely help!
2006-09-12 08:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll always remember your first love I do and I'm old. Tell Casey to grow up, you're with him now not Derek. Why is Casey so jelous of Derek anyway? You didn't at all mention you love Casey maybe it's time to move on and see if you love Casey enough to put up with it
2006-09-12 08:35:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casey sounds a bit immature and insecure and I would point this out to him. There are some people that you will always remember and hold a special place in your heart for and that's just the way life is. If Casey can't get over it then you two will have some serious problems.
2006-09-12 08:31:40 · answer #5 · answered by roxxygrrl13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
derek was ur first serious bf so u had feeling for some one for the first time...n that is really spl for any girl.. not just u
so those memories tend to remain for quite a long time....
ur second bf casey makes fun of him cause it gives the guys a high that they mean much more to u than others.....n he calls him gay or makes fun of him cause its an ego booster for him.. dont get upset bout it..
just make it very clear to him that presently u wud give him more prefence than anyone else.. n if u feel guilty bout not talkng to derek do so ... u just dont have to mention theh complete details of the cons or even the factt that u had a conversation.....as long as ur intentions r clear there is nothg that can prove u wrong
cheers
all the best
2006-09-12 08:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never will forget him, just try to move forward as best you can. The first love is not forgotten, but that's OK. Casey is just being defensive that you haven't forgotten the ex so the less you mention him around Casey the better off you will be.
2006-09-12 08:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is no matter what you say, your current boyfriend will consider all previous ones as bums. It's in the male jealous nature, it has nothing to do with Derek, or you for that matter. It's just this own thing. He is also interpreting this all wrong, but believe me, you explaining it to him won't help. He has already made up his mind. My advice is to not bring Derek up into conversation again, just change the subject, or else you'll have break-up #2 pretty soon.
2006-09-12 08:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by Hermes711 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casey is deffinately jellous. Look, I understand. I was in love with Brad for 7 years or more in Jr. High and Highschool, then I came to college, and met Dave. I returned home over Christmas break of my freshman year and Brad, all the sudden knew that I wasn't a virgin anymore, and that I was taken, and asked me out. Which I thought was the bitchiest thing in the world. He asked me out, now, after all the time he knew I cared for him!! I never bothered him that way when he was taken, nomatter how much it hurt me, because I knew that at that time, he had someone else. But no, he had to be an immature b*tch. He said things like, "Daves Ugly, you could go tanning with me, and get some preppy cloths, and smoke pot with me and my dad." I'm like, ya...Brad, I'm not in Highschool anymore. And I realized that I had grown out of Brad, while he was still stuck in a superficial world. I had always thought he wasn't superficial, because I wasn't, and I felt like we had a special connection. Later I found out that he was only trying to impress me with saying those retarted comments. Anyway, any guy that thinks that that is how you impress a girl, doesn't know **** about how to treat a girl that's for sure. I was hurt, like after all my pain and all my hard work and waiting, this is how we end. I don't love Brad anymore, and am in complete and utter love with Dave, my boyfriend of a year. He knows everything about Brad that happened, because I told him. He hates Brad, just like your boyfriend hates your ex. The difference is that Dave doesn't feel threatened by Brad. I wouldn't want anybody saying something bad about Brad either, because a part in me will always be for him, but I would never ever want him again, he is over, a part of my past. And Dave knows that he has no competition with him. You need to explain to your boyfreind that just because you don't think your ex should be talked about negatively, doesn't mean that he has any competition with him. It might be hard for him to understand. But relationships can be hard sometimes. And that's ok. A freind once told me that love is easy, its making it work that's hard. But it is all worth it. If he ever gets jellous, just remind him how jellous you are when he thinks other girls are attractive. It is a back and forth thing. And you guys only do it because you want each other. Just remember that.
2006-09-12 08:40:29 · answer #9 · answered by Green Tea Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casey makes those statements, because he is jealous. It is also the reason he wants to fight you about it, because if you defend Derek, he feels you must still have feelings for him, which fuels the jealousy.
Jealousy is fear. His actions are thus a way of refocusing those fears, so as to conceal them from you and/or others. The next time he calls him gay, say to him, "Are you calling me a man?", or "Then you must also be gay, and even gayer than him, because you're still with me."
2006-09-12 08:36:39 · answer #10 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. My first boyfreind and I were together for 5 years and till this day I still think of him and he will always have a special place in my heart but that does not mean taht I love him more than anyone I would be with now.
2006-09-12 08:31:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋