What are the hardest things...?

Question

What are the hardest things for you to not pass judgment on when it comes to parenting?

For example--I have a hard time not passing judgment on teenage mothers who expect sympathy for their situation.

How do you intend to overcome your judgment or do you even intend to try?

Thank you for your responses!

--Also--

Why do you pass judgment?

What is an issue you wish people would not pass judgment on? Why?

LOL-Legs, you are going to find me every time, huh? You are right, I don't think passing judgment is a good thing. I hate the fact that people pass judgment and try my best not to do it myself. I'm human, your human, we both will judge people. I believe we both have the same good arguments to back out judgments! Thanks for calling me out--sometimes I need that! ((I'm not being sarcastic))

Sarah Lynn--I am extremely proud that I did overcome the statistics AND stereotype on teen mothers. I did, why can't everyone else seem to do it? I have a reason to judge--and I'm trying to stop that. I have a reason because some irresponsible teen mothers put a bad name out there for not only themselves but all teen mothers. I feel very strongly about this and I hope you feel strongly about something in your life too. Why live without passion and without having at least one thing you feel you need to fight for? I don't want a pat on the back because I am a teen mother. I wish to raise awareness to others that not all teen mothers are lazy, bad, or sluts. If you read my previous questions I really try and stand up for myself and girls like me who have this stereotype lingering over their heads. Who have to deal with knowing others think they are only a statistic. I hope you have a passion as strong as mine, if not I hope you find one! Best of Luck!

The Moose--I believe that we shouldn't pass judgment either. It is hard not too. I try my best as I am sure others do too. You are right, we are all sinners and the only person to pass judgment is God. I'm human, you are human. I used to say I would never passed judgment, as "Legs" clearly pointed out. I found something I do pass judgment on last night. You will too if you haven't already. Thank you for your opinion though!

Answer 1

I don't think you should overcome your judgement, I think people in general should practice making more logic judgements, rather than ignorant ones. You might be being logical in your situation.

I think it's impossible not to judge or make a judgement because thats what humans do. We think. We can't turn off our brains and stop thinking all of a sudden. Every decision we make is made because of judgement. And we learn and grow because of judging situations in life.

Just try not to force your ideas on others unless they are accepting of what you have to say. Thats different than judging. What ever is on your mind, is a judgment. It's up to you and the circumstances to choose when you want to say whats on your mind or not.

By the way, anyone who says they aren't judgemental is like saying they don't think, as if their minds are blank. Every thought you have is a judgement on some level or another. It's how human beings work.

Answer 2

I think that before you judge you MUST walk in that persons shoes, I only pass judgment on experiences I myself have been through. I was a teenage mother Now I own my own Successful business, have three beautiful healthy kids, and am Married for the second time to a great guy, Life teaches you what not to do, and what you did right....... To judge is to say you could have never been there or done that when the truth is maybe you are just lucky enough to of had a better life in the beginning than some, Maybe your hardships are around the corner, Or maybe you are blessed, There are misfortunate people out there, I try to offer my hand when I can, To Lead the mis led and hope someday they will lead me........

Answer 3

OK, I am going to be dead-level honest here. If I get flamed, so be it.

I have a hard time not judging people who won't even try to breastfeed, when they have no reason not to try it. I realize some people have to take medication, some people have a job where they can't pump at work, etc. I'm, talking about people who just won't even try breastfeeding AT ALL, just because.
I bite my tongue and try to understand, but it blows my mind, I can't grasp the concept. I do try to be kind, and realize there may be a reason that the person isn't comfortable discussing, but internally my maternal instinct is screaming WHY??? WHY??? (Yes, I have a very loud maternal instinct)

I have a hard time with judging people like my husband's former co-worker. She worked full time, and left her adopted girl in daycare. She said she didn't HAVE to work, but she did it so they could buy all name-brand "stuff" for the child. She came into work furious one day because the daycare had allowed her child to PLAY outside and her expensive sneakers had gotten DIRT on them. News flash lady: She is a KID, they are just shoes. Kids play. Shoes get dirty. I'd rather give my kids secondhand clothes and let them enjoy being kids. If that makes me a mean judgemental ***** so be it.

I tend to feel judging towards people who say to let 2 week old babies cry it out alone for 20-30 minutes. At that age, a baby is not capable of "being manipulative" or getting spoiled. Every reputable doctor, even the ones who think CIO is a good idea, state NEVER to use it on a newborn. I also feel physically ill when I hear about people leaving a child to scream so hard they throw up, and don't do anything to comfort the baby. That is abusive and cruel. No, I won't be doing anything to "overcome my judgement" on that one.

Answer 4

The hardest thing is learning that we SHOULD "Pass judgement" on bad behavior and irresponsible actions, especially those that harm others. Children need to learn the difference between good and evil or they become Monsters. Morality is what sets us apart from animals. When someone says "You shouldn't judge others!" what they really mean is "I'll do whatever I want and I don't care who I hurt because I'm SPECIAL!" Totally selfish in other words. Well, get on the "little bus" because that is the only "special" treatment they deserve. Prisons are full of such animals. What if your daughter gave birth at 14 and left the infant (YOUR grandchild) in a dumpster to die a horrible death alone, unknown and unloved? Would you just pretend it never happened? COULD you?

Answer 5

I think the biggest thing I pass judgement on is welfare. I think NO ONE needs to sit on their butt and use my tax dollars to take care of their kids. The constant excuses of "well, I'm a single mom," get on my nerves!!!! Get a freakin job!!! I know if my fiance left me I could provide for our 2 children and I on my check alone. Sorry, you asked what I pass judgement on and this if what I feel very strongly about...lol. I honestly think there is no need to overcome this judgement. I guess the day that lazy people go out and provide for their own kids, I will stop judging them.

The reason I pass judgement? I have to many ex friends that sit on their butts all day with their kids while I'm unable to stay home with my children. Yea I could lie and get on welfare but why? I'm not that much of a loser. To answer your last question. I wish people would stop judging all teen moms. My fiance and I just started out a little early. The same with my mom. My mom was 18 when she had me....and you can probably figure out that both of us supported our children withOUT government handouts.

Answer 6

I have the same thing I have a hart time to not passing judgment for teenage mothers. In this age and time, everybody knows about sex and the consequences to have unprotected sex.
I also have a hart time not to pass judgment on mothers who wants to have three children very close in a row and when the nanny is leaving, they have a hart time to keep the children under control, and they feel sorry for themselves when they don't know what to do.

Answer 7

the hardest thing for me is parents who Choice Drugs over their Children, and the mothers who Choice their boyfriends over there children, and i don't thing there is anything I can do to stop judging them. I HATE parents how do that. Sometimes I wish we should Fix all the messed up parents like we fix dogs so no child will have to be Brought into the world to deal with the same bad crap from the same bad parent that their other sibling had to do.

Answer 8

The biggest parenting pet peeve that i have and pass judgement on openly and freely is when i see people driving in their car and the mother in either the front or back seat with thier infant/toddler or small child on thier lap. Not only is it against the law, but its also them choosing to put their childs life at risk should an automobile accident occur.

Its not just on local suburban streets that i notice this on, but on highways and turnpikes. Its horrible and those parents really need a lesson on parenting!

Answer 9

I see from your previous questions that you talk about this a lot.
I think you're trying to get a nice ol' pat on the back for not expecting sympathy... why else would you brag about it?
I don't think most teenage mother expect sympathy. Most of them get looks of disgust and nasty people shaking their heads at them. They are ridiculed constantly and were maybe looking for a friend in another young mother.
Try being open and seeing a different viewpoint because you seem very young and naive yet... you have a lot to learn.

Answer 10

Lindsey my dear.. I am suprised to see you ask this question.. I believe that you once passed judgement on me for passing judgement on mothers who do drugs... and i believe it was you who told me that you NEVER pass judgement on people...

So.. for my answer.. I have a hard time not passing judgement on mothers who do drugs..

I don't intend to change that because there is no way to justify it.

I hope all is well.. And by the way.. I think if you guys feel ready for the 2nd baby.. don't let other people (including parents) decide for you. You guys know what is best.. and young or not.. it sounds like you two have a great handle on things.

Did I just see a breastfeeding answer up there? Is it too late to change my answer?

It is hard for me to not pass judgement on mothers who breastfeed who think they have the right to pass judgement on mothers who choose not to..
I don't intend to change my mind about this because it's bull$hit.