Ever wondered what it would be like if Dear Abby was a man?
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband wants to experience a threesome with my sister and me.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of
you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from
being an issue, this can bring all of the family together. Why not
get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let
him be with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and
cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories
per spoonful. It is nutritious, helps you to keep your figure, and
gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His
offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral
sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. The
best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present,
and cook him a nice meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged.
The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other
men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a
stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for him. Just
look at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his
stable home. The best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive
present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of
his behavior.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess
with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you
may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and sell it. To
ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice, expensive present, and
cook him a delicious meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do
not love your man as much as you should-he has to work a lot to get
you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to
him by buying him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice
meal.
Dear Mr. Abby:
Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-
hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention
it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice,
expensive present, and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal.
2006-09-12 07:40:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL. That is hilarious, though terrible! Bad, bad, bad!! LOL.
2006-09-12 13:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha well good i got a sex joke for you hope you like it :) on hearing that her grandad had just died kate went and visited her nan to comfort her when she asked how he died her nan replyed by sayin that he had had a heart attack while makin love 2 her kate said that it was silly that 2 old people where havin sex as it was askin for trouble her nan replyed by sayin that they used to do it to the slow pace of the church bells as it was just the right speed she then wiped a tear from her eye and carryed on by sayin''if that dahmed ice cream van hadnt come along he would still be alive today'' :) xxx
2016-03-26 22:10:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA HA - If Men Wrote Advice Columns.
2006-09-12 07:42:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my woman better have bought me a nice, expensive present and have a delicious home cooked meal ready for me when i get home!
♣
2006-09-12 08:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm glad it's not a guy lol
2006-09-12 13:50:54 · answer #5 · answered by Sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like the last one - sh....... keeep it secret just murmer my wife is around
2006-09-12 08:00:56 · answer #6 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that would be about right
2006-09-13 06:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋