am i the only parent who is disappointed with their children?

Question

if not what am i doing wrong

Answer 1

No. Maybe mine and yours were too!

Answer 2

You're not doing anything wrong, it's normal to be disappointed with your children to some degree or other. But how important is this disappointment to you? Does it nag at you for a few seconds when your kids do something regrettable, or does it ruin your life? I hope it's the former not the latter. Just keep it in perspective.

If you're disappointed with your children because of major problems of their own making like arrests, drug abuse, violence, etc, then perhaps your disappointment is trying to motivate you to intervene with them and offering them better guidance. If you're disappointed with your children because you were hoping for a profoundly talented child and didn't get one, or you find parenthood really isn't what it's cracked up to be, then I think you are feeling what most parents feel (guiltily). And that's ok -- take heart, when they're about 12 years old and they fully realise you're not actually Superman, they'll be disappointed in you too! Fair's fair, eh?!

Answer 3

Don't start blaming yourself completely until you understand what it is that disappoints you about them, and was it avoidable. Sometimes we are disappointed because we have imagined the way in which their lives should go and often mis read individual thinking. Try to look at what they do really well and focus on that instead. However you are not alone, many parents will prattle on about how brilliant their children are but forget to mention that they can be little sods to control behind closed doors. A lot of first time mother would never like to admit that they have thought about leaving their children in supermarkets because it will look like they have failed as a parent. I commend you for coming out and saying you feel disappointed but now you need to work on how to turn it around.

Answer 4

Are you looking for 'perfect' kids who never answer back, or have a tantrum, or lie, or cheat or do any other of those millions of things that humans do sometimes.

We all get fed up with our kids sometimes, but the most important thing a parent can do is let them know you love them and will always be there for them. You can still love your children even if you don't always like them.

I am sure they have lots of good points, try sitting down and thinking of all the times they have made you smile, I'm sure there will be more instances than you realise.

Answer 5

how can you be disappointed with your children! Are they not bright enough or are the ugly?
How can you be so selfish. Your children are wonderful blessings and they never asked to be brought into this world. You should be ashamed. Every child is special and wonderful in their own way and each and every child has a talent the no one else has. Maybe you need to spend some time with your children to find out what their wonderful talent is.

Answer 6

As a parent, we high expectants. In, some kind of way, we all try living our dreams and hopes through our siblings. We are bound to be disappointed when they take up their own likings and make the same mistakes as we did, or even worse than when we was young. Its about be accepting and supportive of whatever they choose to do and help them through any problems.

Answer 7

You have high expectations, and wish to live your life again through your children. Children should never disappoint their parents, as long as they are happy.

If you've had drug dealing, murderers and rapists for kids then I guess you have a reason. But then, it should be yourself that you are disappointed in, for not teaching them better!

Answer 8

Everybody wants what is best for their children. Parents automatically plan out what they would like their childs fairytale life to be. More often than not this never occurs. What you need to do is step back from it. If your child is happy that should be enough for you. Your child will also be disapointed in you when they find out that you are not perfect, the mistakes you have made and possibly not having reached your potential. Disapointment is part of life. Get over it.

Answer 9

O.K. You didn`t learn,trough all this time(while you were child)that parents are chronicly dissatisfied with their children?What ever they do,it`s just not good enough...O,you can do it better...It`s not you,we all just try to forget that we always were trying to impress our parents,but we had our own world,with our own rules,where parents just don`t fit.Thats becouse parents look at the mirrow and see what they pass,and want something better for their child...And in some moments parents forget that they were just the same,and were doing just the same,like their child...Disappointment comes when you see that your child goes the same way like you....But we all have to find out on our own...Don`t be like that,yor child will find something to make you proud,sooner or latter...Maybe he`s trying,but it`s all going at wrong way...Life is full of mistakes...if we make none,how will we learn...Even mistakes with parents...

Answer 10

Dont make the mistake of expecting your children to either be model human beings or replicas of you. They will have their own ambitions and aspirations. They will react to the world in which they are brought up, and they will react to the way they are brought up. The only thing we can do as parents is to love our children, to bring them up to respect themselves and others and to accept them for what and who they are. Maybe you should ask yourself why you are disappointed with them, are you asking too much of them? They are only human after all, as are you. Just love them and let them be who they want to be.

Answer 11

ask yourself if your children are disappointed in you.... its not that you have done anything wrong, you have just been yourself at this present moment and visa versa for your children, today you are disappointed tomorrow you will be proud, life is full of ups and downs, talk with other parents with children of the same age you will be surprised at how much you have in common, we are non of us perfect and if your children go off the rails guide them back with the love and support they need, value them and let them know you value them - they will pay you back threefold (eventually)