i'm deploying to Iraq in Feburary for a year. my lady is sad and telling me, why are you leaving me, she wished she never met me, and that i ruined her life, and etc. now those are some harsh words. i understand she is hurt, but i don't know how to handle what she told me, it was uncall for, should i leave her? or bare with her cause she doesn't mean those things? (we've been together for little over a year)
2006-09-12 07:22:35 · 12 answers · asked by DOINK 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Those are very unfair things to say to you. Yes, she's scared, but nothing can justify saying those things. She knew that you were in the military when she met you. She knew that this is a possibility. It's a reality of the life you chose. She needs to understand that and not take it out on you. You know she didn't mean it, but it hurts just the same. Sit her down and talk to her about it. Tell her exactly how you feel. She'll either stand by your or not. At least you'll know where things stand. Honestly, it's better to find out now, then get there and have a "dear John" letter bring you down. Don't leave her unless it's her choice. Understand how she feels, but make sure she knows how you feel and make it clear that it's uncalled for.
Good luck!!
Stay safe and come home!!
God bless you!!
2006-09-12 07:36:02 · answer #1 · answered by HEartstrinGs 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you, it's a tough call. Deployments that long break up a lot of relationships, even when both people in the relationship go into it positively. She may just be upset at the moment and get over it in the near future. Really she should have been prepared for it since it's most likely no secret that you're in the military. If she doesn't change her tune soon and start supporting you, you may be better off without her.
2006-09-12 07:33:58 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm an infantry spouse to boot. I pass to my place of birth during deployments and spend time with my parents and in-rules. considering you won't try this, perhaps see if a chum can come pass to one weekend, or pass pass to them some. I volunteer, get closer my non-militia acquaintances, and that i continually have a job for me whilst i'm there. Plus I actually have a 2 a million/2 twelve months previous son who keeps me noticeably busy. I write my husband an e mail very almost each and every night, no longer something too long, merely letting him be attentive to what's happening and that i pass over him. I additionally love putting mutually the care programs for him and writing him letters. merely stay busy, there are a number of us different halves obtainable who attempt to make certain how we are going to make the time pass via during deployments, and we continually come across a fashion.
2016-09-30 21:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK from a guy who has been in your shoes before. I would say this if you desire a life with her then two things need to happen. First you must tell her how you feel about her and this deployment. Second understand this in the world of the military it is very hard to say goodbye and with the current situation the whole world is upside down. If you love her tell her and tell her that this is your job sadly when you joined you two were not together, if you were it would be understood that this happens. Don't lose her win her heart.
2006-09-12 07:33:28 · answer #4 · answered by Barry G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if she's not going to support you through thick and thin, then she isn't for you. If you were my boyfriend or husband, you would have my full backing and respect that you're brave enough to serve. Ditch the ungrateful witch. She may be hurt and scared, but that gives her no reason to say she wishes she never met you and you ruined her life. Drop her like a bad habit.
2006-09-12 07:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as you're not married, I say drop her like a bad habit. If she reacts that way to things you can't control, how do you think she'll respond when you make your own decisions that she doesn't like? If she can't handle the fact that you have a profession in which you must endure hardship to keep her and others safe, then she doesn't deserve you. Iraq isn't too bad. it'll treat you better than she does.
2006-09-12 07:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by DOOM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave her. My lady talked like that when I signed my paper work, I thought I talked her into staying with me. I wasnt through basic and she was doing my friends. You need to leave that woman. Seriously.
2006-09-12 08:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by wrf3k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's hard. She is scared, but she should be thinking of you and being supportive of you in this situation. You have enough to deal with without having to worry about her happiness. She is being a bit selfish.
Look for people who will support you and keep your spirits up.
Take care of yourself and be careful, man
2006-09-12 07:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by island3girl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your call. Question for you is, can you trust her while your gone?
Your not married, you will be there for a year, she will not be with you.
If you two are "truly" in love, stay with her. But it sounds to me like she has already made up her mind.
2006-09-12 07:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by Q-burt 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I guess she must be really mad. Im in Iraq right now and I'll be going home in Novemeber. She'll probably be ok.
2006-09-12 07:25:45 · answer #10 · answered by Casey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋