how do you prepare for a deployment, in that i mean what important documents and stuff also emotionally? this is his second deployment... his first one strained our relationship BAD! please help
2006-09-12 07:22:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Most importantly, you need to have a POA. You can't do much on his part without one. That's also part of his processing to get you one. Especially if you have kids. You have to understand though, some guys are reluctant to get one for their wife because so many others have abused them.
You need to know how to pay the bills. He can't be worried about this while he's gone. Make sure everything gets paid and on time. Make sure you have access to getting his LES, so you know how much you're making. Sometimes, the deposit at the bank doesn't tell you enough.
Emotionally, I just tell myself if the worst can happen, it'll happen while he's gone. It's not a negative, I just prepare myself. The last time, we had a car break down, a freezer that died and we lost so much money in food it wasn't funny and our daughter was attacked by a dog. So I just prepare myself. I know I can handle it. I stay strong and I believe in myself. I also believe in him and what he's doing. I write letters to him and e-mail him alot. I send him pieces of home in boxes so that I don't feel so seperated from him.
I trust and rely on my friends and family. I also look to the other wives (and husbands) of deployed soldiers in the unit. We're all going through the same thing, so there's strength in that. There's lots of agencies on post that can help to. Use them, that's what they're for. You should also pray and find strenth in your faith. I'm not a Bible thumper or anything like that. But, prayer really does help. Look to those who can help the most. Be strong and feel your independence. You actually have the "easy" part of the deployment. Make the best of it and grow within who you are.
Trust in him and your marriage. Do whatever it takes to keep the marriage going. Just remember the stress he's under. Yes, you have it too, but it's different. You're here, with everything you know and love. Conditions there suck and they often get moody. Keep communication open at all times. Don't fight....nothing is worth it.
Good luck!!
"Toughest job in the military.....the miltary wife!!"
2006-09-12 07:32:06 · answer #1 · answered by HEartstrinGs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a power of attorney, access to your accounts and whatever needs to be filled out for the housing. I grew up military and my brother in law is in the Army. His wife is deaf and had to do all of this stuff. As far as the strain on the relationship....Try instant messaging each other at least every couple of days. Keep the lines of communication open. Deployment is hard on everyone involved. Maybe there are some wives clubs going for wives who's husbands are deployed. It will give you an outlet and something to be busy with....Hope this helps.
2006-09-12 07:37:44 · answer #2 · answered by bonnie.spinks 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure your wills are up to date, get a general power of attorney (it will cover everything). Go to the base Legal Office for these things, they will also advise you on anything else you may need.
Make sure you know how and when to pay the bills. He does not need to be worrying about this on top of everything that will be required of him now.
Not to be negative, but Murphy's Law always kicks in during deployments. If it can break, it will. Water heaters, cars, children and chicken pox, etc. Try and have a sense of humor about it. This is where other military wives will help you get thru it. Try and get together with them whenever the opportunity presents itself, it will do wonders for your own moral.
Emotionally, you can do this. You can. He really needs you to be strong. That is your way of honoring him and the job he has been called to do. Remember, no matter what a rotten day you may have had, his was probably worse.......no warm meal, hot shower, long shifts, homesick etc. They can get downhearted too. Keep in touch with emails and send him off with prepaid phone cards.
While he is gone stay busy. If you need support, don't be afraid to seek it out.
I have found that I see a different side of my husband thru letter writing. It's actually very sweet, and I made a scrapbook of emails and letters. You will make it thru this. Military wives are some of the most independant and strong women I have had the pleasure of calling friend. I hope this helped. You are welcome to email me. Take care.
2006-09-12 15:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emotionally, just try and remember what brought you together in the first place and enjoy the time you have. Remember that deployment dosn't fix any problems. When ever my husband would do something that would bug me, I would ask myself, "will this really matter in 20 years?" That one little thought worked wonders for me. Also if you can easily fix a problem without him, don't even tell him about it until it's fixed. As far as paperwork goes here's a good checklist http://pao.hood.army.mil/1cd_2-7cav/deployment%20checklist.htm Good luck and I hope the time goes by as quickly as possible.
2006-09-12 07:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by melissajeanwilson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
POAs..general and specific, especially for matters pertaining to money or directly military related.
Make sure the will is updated.
work out in advance how much money he will be able to spend.. either set him up with his own seperate account, or agree ahead of time how much per month he can spend.
as for emotionally: learn to accept the fact that he WILL change while deployed, especially if into a combat situation. Emotions have to be turned off, he cannot be blamed if he doesn't call or email daily and absolutely the worst thing to do is make him feel guilty for not being around. and No ultimatums, either.
Deployments don't bother me at all. it's a chance to grow as an individual and reconnect with your independant self.
2006-09-12 10:31:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what it is all about honey..Facing the possibility that he won't come back..Quit being so selfish and support him ..God forbid you should lose him and have regrets for the rest of your life that you mistreated your man before he went off to war..Every military wife knows where the papers are kept when the time comes...Insurance etc...This is the real thing..No time for playing house and soldier...This is war and you need to be strong or get the hell out of his life..He has enough to worry about and doesn't need a nagging , neurotic wife on top of it...
Military Wife of 12 years.
2006-09-12 07:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to go through this again. I know how hard it is. My husband was over there for 15 months.
Make sure you have a will, power of attorney, SGLI paperwork
Just be supportive of what he is doing. Send e-mails, write letters and pray for his safe return.
2006-09-12 07:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we spend as much time together before he goes, and talk about what we'll do when he gets back, i usually just ask him if there is anything paperwork that i have to worry about
2006-09-12 07:28:16 · answer #8 · answered by AFwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure that you have power of attorney so that you can take care of all of your husband's stuff. make sure you send care packages and send LOTS of letters. you have been through this once and you can do it again. your love will get you through it together.
2006-09-12 07:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by Kevin H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
POA, a will, SGLI paperwork are the most important.
2006-09-12 07:25:14 · answer #10 · answered by Phil My Crack In 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋