im a 31 yr old separated F. i started dating this guy 8 months ago. my husband who i am separated from looked into him and came back and told me my bf was living with a female. The check also came up that the house was in his name and the females. The cars were also in his name and two in her name. I have never been to his house because he says he is stayin with his aunt and uncle and they dont' really want company. he says he loves me and that my husband is just being crazy. in my heart i feel i am being played but how do i confirm this information. what can i get him to do to prove to me that this is not true. also i have never met anyone in his family either or been around any of them. one thing though he does own his own company and works at another one at night.
2006-09-12 06:50:53 · 20 answers · asked by SweetOne 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So he says..... Go to his house and find out for yourself. He is being honest with you he will prove it.
2006-09-12 06:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by neesy01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds really suspicious, doesn't it. I've heard stories like this before. You could go to his house and find out. Tell him the truth, that your husband did say these things, and you didn't want to believe him, but you had to check it out.
You really do not owe him an explation, but if he insists, tell him it is It is not a matter of love or trust, but one of safety. Tell him that these days, it is mandatory for women to check a man out, and most do. [You see the news, you know what could happen, so does he, and a good honest man would understand, and welcome a check, knowing it would help his cause, not hurt it].
And for heaven's sake, do not go there alone! Take a friend or family with you!
Best to do some research first, and find out who's name the cars and house are in. Or go watch his house carefully [or have someone else do it], or hire a good, honest private detective.
Any way, be careful, and do not believe either guy, check it out. And if you find your husband is right, you do not owe the guy you date an explanation, get out of the relationship, fast. And keep in mind your husband may be the one not telling the truth.
Good luck, and be safe.
2006-09-12 14:16:31 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you can do, but anytime a man gives you a reason like "my aunt and uncle dont like company" it's a clear sign of something's not right. Also, that you've been together 8 months and never met any of his family is a pretty big sign he's hiding something.
It's just like when a guy will only give you his cell number and not his home number: big sign he's hiding something.
When someone tries to partition or limit you to a certain part of their life there may be something he is trying to hide.
How can you confirm this info? Why don't you ask your husband for the info sheet/site/whatever he found out. Or ask what he did to find out. This way you can also find out if your husband is just making up stuff to get you and your bf to break up. Your husband should be happy to provide this info to you.
2006-09-12 14:03:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, some of this depends on the type of man your husband is. Is he controlling? Manipulative? Deceitful? Is there any real reason he'd lie to you about this?
Just think about this rationally for a minute. You've been dating this guy for 8 months....and you've never even SEEN where he LIVES? Something definitely fishy about that. And the "aunt and uncle who don't want company" story is truly lame. You'd think he could come up with a better lie than that. Honestly....if someone over the internet can sniff out that one....it's time you start being honest with yourself. You KNOW what your husband's telling you is true......you just don't want to admit it.
2006-09-12 13:55:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open your eyes! You are being played. Sorry to say but please read your question with an open mind like it was written by a stranger. If you need proof then ask to meet his aunt and uncle. If your ex has the address of his house, stop over there and check things out. Insist you meet his family. Refuse to see him anymore till he does one of the things mentioned above. You will soon find out the truth for yourself.
My first "relationship" after my divorce sounded much the same as this one. I didn't want to believe it and basically closed my eyes to what I should have seen. Finally I got brave and started questioning everything. I backed him into a corner and finally when he couldn't lie anymore and I found out the truth. I found out alot more later and was relieved I was rid of him. Scary.
You are in a vulnerable stage right now and he knows it. He is preying on you. Beware.
2006-09-12 13:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by sunnyca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're husband wants you back, he's probably making up **** to get you two to break up. Find out on your own, don't rely on your husband for information. Your husband is psychotic if he really did check on all that ****. Also, why is he still your husband, do you plan on divorcing him or just dating other guys for a while? Also, how can a ask if a guy is playing you when you're still married to someone else?
2006-09-12 14:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by Stranger in a Strangeland 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but I think You're being played..You need to go to his house and get down to the facts...that's the only way You can see for Yourself the games He could be playing with You...or maybe he is still living with his wife and they are in the process of divorce..and he was afriad You wouldn't understand the situation..either way...find out now...good luck.
2006-09-12 13:55:47 · answer #7 · answered by Catherinefaith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if he will not take you to his house, even just to run in while you sit in the car and wait, or if he won't let you call him while he is there, or won't introduce you to any of his family, then he is probably with the other girl, and your husband is probably right.. I would follow him home one night, just to see where he lives, and then have a friend that he don't know go up and knock on the door when you know that he is not there and see who answers...
2006-09-12 13:55:11 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you even know that he owns his own company and where he's working at night? You've asked the right question - Who is he really? So, if you have to ask it, do you think he's the real one for you? You can choose to love blindly or choose to do what's best for you, and turn him off if he's not real!
2006-09-12 15:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by Cutie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my... Honesty is the best policy... if you feel creepy...
You must be in good standings with your ex or your ex is in sabatage mode. This is all public record, you can look it up. I guess you could always surprise him at work. Either way seems like not a good situation.
best of luck there...
2006-09-12 13:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by calmman7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋