The one year anniversary of my cousin's death (cancer- she was 21 years old) is coming up soon. I want to put together a slideshow with videos and pictures of her life, with quotes and music that captures the beauty of the life that she lived. I'm just not sure if giving that gift to my aunt and uncle on the one-year anniversary would be blessing, or a painful reminder that she's not here anymore. It's one thing to lose a cousin, it's another thing to lose a daughter. I don't want to do anything that would cause more pain. Anyone who's lost a close loved one have any insights?
2006-09-12 06:48:18 · 8 answers · asked by The New Mrs. Nguyen 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree with Heather, however, I think a donation to your cousin's favorite charity or interest in her name would be better, and not produce any anxiety for anyone.
2006-09-12 06:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by hbsizzwell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Heather about the timing... Birthday would be far more appropriate...
But whether or not the gift should be given at all really depends on the circumstances... If your aunt and uncle talk to you about your cousin and memories about her life then your gift idea would be very nice... If they avoid the subject altogether, then the gift may be too painful of a reminder for them...
2006-09-12 13:56:16 · answer #2 · answered by Andy FF1,2,CrTr,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Heather B. Good answer there. Also, maybe on the anniversary of her death, you could give a donation to a cancer research foundation, hospice, or cancer hospital for children, etc. in her name and have them send the thank you notice to her parents (that you've donated in her honor) or have a memorial get-together with her/your friends as a fundraiser or something along those lines.
2006-09-12 13:56:27 · answer #3 · answered by jjeffcott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a beautiful idea! Though you might want to give it to them earlier than the date or after. Before is my suggestion, that way they can be mentally ready to watch it on that day if they deside to watch it then. Popping it on them on that day, no matter how gently and sweetly you do it, might be too emotional for them all at once.
But it's a great gift, that way whenever they miss her they can watch the video and be reminded of all the great time they had with her.
2006-09-12 13:57:34 · answer #4 · answered by starsmoak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your thoughtful gift should be given on her birthday as a rememberance. NOT on the tragic day of her death as a painful reminder.
Remember and embrace when she was brought into the world not taken from it.
2006-09-12 13:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Heather B 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't really think it is appropriate to give a gift on the date of her death, but if you think you must I would give some type of floral arraingement or wreath to put on the gravesite.
2006-09-12 14:25:41 · answer #6 · answered by angelae93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with heather b. not on the anniversary of the death. maybe on her b-day. very thoughtful of you though.
2006-09-12 13:58:05 · answer #7 · answered by mml619 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best gift on such a painful day plus one year is yourself; your time and presence; without reminders, just you being you!
2006-09-12 13:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by K9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋