Ok well me and my ex broke up a while ago and are trying the whole friends thing. So we were hanging out yesterday and I asked her if she likes anyone and stuff then I asked has she done anything with this guy shes with. She tells me no cuz shes saving her self for a guy she loves so I asked her whos the guy then she looked at me, so im like what is it and she tells me its me who shes saving herself for. So what should I do?
2006-09-12 06:31:32 · 25 answers · asked by slaphappy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't put yourself in the position to where she may accuse you of leading her on.. the first time should be special and if you do not want the emotional ties don't do it
2006-09-12 06:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by donise225 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, she's obviously into you... but do you really want her in your life at all? I mean it didn't work before, right?
So, let's suppose you do take her up on the offer. What's to stop you two from breaking up again, and what's to stop her from hating you as the man that stole her virginity?
Unless things have changed significantly for the better between you, this is the most likely outcome of sex with her, and it will set you both up nicely to have a string of on again, off again love/hate interractions fueld by guilt and lust.
If you really want her in your life, then I suggest that some serious heart to heart talks about what went wrong before, how it can be avoided now, and what to do about her current man are in order... all well before any sex happens, and possibly all moderated by a psychologist of some kind. Doing this will require comittment, patience, and dedication, and getting your willy in the hole is not the main point here.
If you don't really want her, then why are you even bothering with "being friends?" She's holding out hope for you, and it's getting in the way of her relationship with this other guy... who will inevitably get suspicious of you, possibly even jealous and violent. Is that good for you? Is she good for you? Just how much comitment and integrity is she showing by offering to sleep with you while she's kind of dating someone else?
If you really don't want her, then I suggest you step away from the woman, and don't talk with her for about a year or so. By then, you both will have either had a burning desire to see each other again, and you can start off with a fresh perspective, or you both will have probably found someone a little better suited to your tastes... or at least come to grips with just what it is you don't like about each other.
Of course, she is practically begging you for sex, and that bears some consideration... If you are not emotionally attached to her, and are not concerned with what she will think of you afterwards, you can take her up on the offer without any sense of dedication... you might even demand certain particulars, such as money, some unusual position or act, or even try to get her current boyfriend in on the deal. Whatever floats your boat anyway. The worst she can do is refuse, and stop talking to you for a while... which in the long run, might be for the best anway.
Hit and run is not exactly the nicest thing to do though, and I would suggest that you look into whether you really want her at all, then either work to have her, or work to not have her. I suspect that the generous offer of her body is just her own way of working to have you... and probably is not the best option.
2006-09-12 07:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sleeping with her while she is in a relationship with someone other than you is always a bad idea and sleeping with someone you are not in a relationship with is always a bad idea I would say don't go down that road unless you are ready to commit to her again because it seems clear that she still has feelings for you despite your newfound "friendship" especially considering the fact that she is a virgin even if she weren't a virgin sleeping with an ex is always problematic and usually at least one of the parties involved whether they are ready to admit it or not have some feelings behind it and the last thing anyone wants is to end up hurt so I say play it safe until you and she are exactly sure of what you want.
2006-09-12 06:38:50 · answer #3 · answered by denise e 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't share the same feelings of love toward her that she has towards you, it wouldn't be right. If you have no intentions on continuing the relationship with her, how could you take such a precious thing from this girl? If you don't share the same feelings, then you should tell her that it wouldn't be right and that you respect her too much to take this from her. Tell her she has to have more respect in herself too. Maybe you should drop the whole "friends" thing for now. Apparently it is just leading her to believe she still has a chance with you. If her intentions are to get you back by offering herself to you, then that isn't healthy...for either of you. Let her know exactly how you feel, don't lead this girl on. Good luck in your decision. This is such an important thing at stake.
2006-09-12 06:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by teashy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that all depend's on how you feel about her and because obviously she's not over you, she clearly said "For SomeOne I LOVE" if you broke up with her then it's not a good idea because your just going to do it and then be on your way, you see she want's you to be her first but she doesn't want it to be a one time thing , she wants to be with you. If she broke up with you then she wants you back because now realized that she loves you still, and if you asked her how it's going and if she's done anything with any other guy's then that mean's that you still care about her and you want to know. And if it was a mutural decision then you both obviously still have feeling's for eachother and you weren't really ready to let go, you were just scared of being in a serious relationship and that happen's but don't let her go if deep down inside you still love her. Do what your hearts telling you not your mind! I hope this advice helped you with your problem and I really do hope you work it out. Goodbye!
2006-09-12 06:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by ♥♥MicHeLLe♥♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, he cant tell. If I have been you although i might choose for him to be responsive to! I a good number of fellows rejoice with the fact that a woman can wait, and sense particular to be with a virgin. i replaced right into a virgin until eventually i replaced into 22. (2 years in the past) and its no longer something to sense embarrassment approximately, you need to be happy! As for what all human beings is saying, its no longer continuously genuine, I didnt bleed my first time and it didnt injury..... a good number of foreplay helps lube you up with makes issues much less painful.
2016-12-15 06:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by nurdin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definitely not!! It will only complicate things for her and prevent you from really being friends. She is obviously still hung up on you and it wouldn't be fair for her to share something like that, that she has obviously been saving, with someone who doesn't have the same kind of feelings for her. You should tell her that your flattered, but when she sleeps with someone for the first time, it should be with someone who loves her back.
2006-09-12 06:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by Nik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Us guys, we wanna get our virginity out of the way and taken care of asap, it's a guy thing, ladies... On the other hand you don't have 1 of those "I just want to get it over with" girls, you have a "I want to be with someone I love" - so I'd say, unless you feel the way she feels about you - Move on!
It might not be what you want to hear - but hopefully you are mature enough to understand it.
2006-09-12 06:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a closer look at the reason(s) why you broke up. If you do decide to be her first, absolutely wear a condom and absolutely do not let her talk you out of wearing it. She may be intentionally trying to get pregnant and thinking that you will do the "right thing" and marry her if she gets pregnant. Do you want her to bear your child? Do you want to marry her?, or else pay child support?
2006-09-12 06:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by garfielddean1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
amm don't know that a tough one,however it depends how old is this girl ?cause if she is young then don't maybe she will regret it later so make sure that this is what you want and what she wants.Please don't do it because she wants you to use you descretion.
this could ruin the little friendship that you have and also how do you feel about this girl?
It seem to me she is really in love with you cause you are seperated and she still wants you.goodluck.
2006-09-12 06:36:25 · answer #10 · answered by love me like me hate me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you love her, you shouldn't do it. You'll only give her a complex. She'll think she wasn't good enough or that there's something wrong with her. For the rest of her life, she will regret that she slept with a person who did not love her. Although most are jerks, not all of them are, don't be one of them. It's not just sex, it's about love too.
2006-09-12 07:04:26 · answer #11 · answered by lexicam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋