Is it normal for your 3 year old to cry ever time they don't get their way?

Question

and , no matter what , everytime i ask my daughter to do something she just ignores me. if i tell her not to do something , she makes it her goal to do exactly what i have asked her not to do. please tell me if all 3 year olds are like this. it won't be until next summer till she turns 4 and my gray hair is doubling by the day. this behavior of crying and screaming when she doesnt get her way hsa been going on for a couple of months and i am really worn out. i spend so much time trying to figure out how to handle these tantrums and nothing is working. i try to ignore them but it makes it worse . i always end up giving in. yesterday she deliberaltely started throwing things at me out of anger and i put her in time out at least 4 times for misbehaving. i dont want to spank her cause i dont want to teach her to hit others to get her way. any suggestions?

Answer 1

you were right to put her in a time out... NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES IT TAKES... keep that up. (I have two kids over 3 & one is 2... my two older kids went through it - it will get better) Time out works - giving in will only make the problem worse. DO NOT GIVE IN TO HER!!! She will learn that all she has to do is throw a fit & she'll get her way. Do NOT compromise with her... you are the parent here. You don't have to "handle" tantrums... if they happen in the store - you leave. Store personnel will understand if you leave a cart full of grociers in the middle of the aisle. And when you return to the store to continue (or start over)... you return alone. Leave her with dad or gramma. If she can't behave, she can't go. Simple as that. You didn't specify what "worse" meant when it comes to ignoring her tantrums; all I can say is that you have to try (if it's at home). If you're in public... you GO home. THEN ignore her. If you enable this behavior - it won't stop. When she IS calm, explain to her that it makes mommy sad when she cries like that. Ask her why she was mad... let her talk about it. You may be surprised. Good luck!

Answer 2

as a mother of 3 young boys, ages 6, 4, and 2 I can honestly say I have been there. Most children do go through this stage. its not fun and there is no sure fire way that will work everytime.
However, if you are trying to teach her that she can't throw tantrums to get her way, consistency is the key. If you don't let her have her way 10 times and the 11th time you do, then you have to start over from square one.
Try keeping one of her favorite toys with you at all times, something to snack on, or a drink. Some times keeping them distracted will help. I wish you the best of luck. It really does get better, even if you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I promise it is there...

Answer 3

I am an advocate of the spanking. There are rules I follow. I first give the verbal warning, then the consequence, then time out in the room. My son just turned three on the 2nd, he screams and cries and asks "why" constantly. It is completely normal. They like to test how far they can go. They are learning the consequences of their behavior. If I spank, it after I have done all of the above first. When I spank, I make sure that I am not so upset that I cannot control the strength I put into it, and I always make him look me in the eyes so that I can tell him exactly why he got a spanking. Since I do not have to do this very often, he listens for a brief time period after-wards. Whatever you do-DO NOT give in. She is only three and you do not want to teach her that she has no real consequences because it only gets worse.

Answer 4

Super Granny here. Don't fear the time-outs. My Gabriel spent half of his third year in the corner, but by cracky, he is coming around. I wonder when your daughter's BD is? That has a lot of influence on behavior, believe it or not. If you stop giving in, she will turn around, but you must be consistent. Say, these are my rules, and will be my rules until you turn 20. Non-negotiable. The old folks used to have a saying, "Better the child cries, than you cry". I know this is not an easy time for you, but keep the faith. If you don't teach her right from wrong now, when she gets to be 16, she will trample all over you. I do agree with the non spanking, though. I aways said, I have arthritis in my hand, so could not spank, or if I did, it was so light they laughed. Ha, ha, you didn't hurt me.

Answer 5

At that age is their goal to see how far they can test ur Patience. Is up to you to show her who's boss, on the first time she does something say a straight no make her sit and if she disobeys spank her (but not of anger) her explain why,then ask her to sit again (Time out for a toddler is 5-8 minutes only). Give her love show her that you love her but ur not willing to take any messybusiness. By spanking her ur not teaching to hit b/c her mentality is not that strong. but a spanking is good once in a while. Also don't scream at her just say what u need to say and give her timeout. Don't ever let her have her way! When shes doing it out of tantrum ......... Good Luck

Answer 6

Ahhh, the joy of parenthood. Yes, it is totally normal. Typical behavior for that age. It only gets better. She is testing you and your limits. Don't give in. If walking away does not work, for you or her, distract her with something else. Usually this age likes to help out.....for instance, if you are making dinner and she wants a cookie and you tell her no. Don't just say no.....say now is not a good time for a cookie, I am making dinner would you like to help mommy? The last thing she hears is a question, not the word no. Then hand her a spoon and have her stir something, (not hot) or get out the salad dressing or fold napkins. Diverting her attention hopefully will work.
If that fails "naughty chair" works too, if she has a tantrum. Good Luck. :).

Answer 7

She's becoming a classic controller. When the request fails, she requests again. When that fails, she cries. When that fails, she screams. And when that fails, she throws things. She has to realize that her behavior comes with a price. My mother used to fill a small pot with cold water. When the crying and screaming started, my little toddler sister would catch it right in the face. After a few dousings, the tantrum stopped when my mother began filling the pan. Yours may be beyond the cold water solution. If it is, seek counseling. You could have the makings of a very violent little girl. She does not understand that no means NO. B.

Answer 8

You give in on her. Thats what you should change ASAP. Kids can be like puppies sometimes. They can be tought to use bad behaviour in order to get what they want, and thats exactly what she has learned from you. Maybe you should try the following, but you will have to try really hard and stick to it for a longer period to see results.

Kids need to have clarity when it comes to rules. Tell her about things you are going to do with her (for example when you go to the store) and also make sure you tell her in a calm voice about what you expect of her. Make it positive, dont tell her what she should not do, tell her what she should do. (in advantage)
If she misbehaves, tell her she is not being nice. Dont yell at her, ignore the tantrums and DO NOT give in.

Whenever she doies something nice (how small ever) you compliment her. Make sure you tell her she is being a good girl, or tell her what a good job she has done. Give her all the attention you gan give her, but only when she is being a good girl. Avoid her negative way to seek your attention.

After a while, i am sure she will change her behaviour. But you have got to stick to it!

Answer 9

Just try and ignore her tantrums, reward her when she is good. A great way to encourage kids to be good iss to have a star chart on the wall, a bit like a calendar, every day she is good she gets a star, and a small treat, but if she is bad, she gets a cross, if there are crosses, she doesn't get anything. If by the end of the week and she has done well and got no crosses, then treat her to a McDonalds or something special.....trust me, it does work.

Answer 10

Temper tantrums!!! I've been through them 3 times and now on my 4th and FINAL time...

Hitting to get her way?! NO!! It's called discipline!! Spank her!!! Teach her that her actions have consequences!!! BY letting her get what she wants is the TEACHING her the wrong thing...My sons all know that if THEY EVER through ANYTHING...their little bums will get a swat...I'm not saying BEAT THEM TIL THEY BLEED...just a swat or two to let them know it's NOT okay to do what they are doing...9 out of 10 times..I hurt my hand more than their meaty butts!!!!

FOR THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO CALL CHILD PROTECTION ON ME...SAVE YOU'RE SPEECHES!!

I was raised with the true..IF YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG...and you keep doing it...a spank on the bum will SHOW them..you won't take any crap! My older children are all well behaved and very polite children..ranging from 16-2 yrs..