I lost my job; why do people feel it their right to ask me if I found a job?

Question

This intrusion is iritating, and I find my self snapping back with answers like, "Nope. Just going to deplete my savings until my family and I are on the street."
Where do you think these questions originate from; a genuine concern, or a need to feel superior?

Answer 1

I lost my job once due to a merger and it took me a while to find a replacement. People drove me nuts so I know where you're coming from. I think everybody likes to see someone doing worse than themselves. It's sick, but it's human nature. Of course family and good friends want to see you back on your feet. Just start staring at them blankly like you've lost your mind, and they'll leave you alone. Actually these aquaintances are the ones who can help you find a job. I went thru job placement, etc but got a very good job through a friend. Networking is the way to go, so be nice to people and let everyone know you're looking for a job.

Answer 2

You have to take it from the source: true friends and family are more than likely asking out of concern. Perhaps they want you to know they're thinking about you, that they haven't forgotten or lost interest in what you're going through, and this is the only way they know how. I understand exactly where you're coming from - I hate when people continue to ask me about an ongoing issue I've having trouble with, but try to remind yourself that their heart's in the right place. Try explaining to them that it's overwhelming, frustrating and brings about a host of other negative feelings when everyone continues to task you about it. Assure them you're making every effort, but you'd rather not make it a topic of conversation every time you meet.

If, on the other hand, it's someone just trying to irritate you - don't give them the satisfaction. Be direct, brief and even-tempered in your response. Not getting the desired reaction will make them stop.

Answer 3

If I asked this question of a family member it would be because I am concerned. I am not trying to make a statement on my family member's ability to provide for his/her family.

You could reply, "Thanks for your concern. I am still looking. If you hear of anything, let me know. I can use some leads."

If they keep asking, I would get annoyed myself. I think at this point I would say "I am still looking. I'll let you know if I'm successful. I would sincerely appreciate it if you wouldn't ask me this question any more. I find it quite bothersome."

That's probably more information than you want to give, but it's polite and to the point.

You could also have a friend or other family member act as a 'wing man' and let the curious know you are looking and to stop asking.

Answer 4

I'm sure some people do care. Others and probably just making conversation. That's something they know is going on with you so they ask you about it because they know it's a subject you can talk about. If would be the same if you had just started a new job, had a new baby or anything that can be discussed.

Answer 5

Some people will ask out of genuine concern, while others may ask out of the need to make conversation or find out the latest gossip. I can understand that it really isn't their business, but your friends should care about you and try to help you if they can. If it's people you don't know then I would wonder why they would want to know.

Answer 6

I really know how that feels.
I always avoided everyone who had the insesent need to remind me of how I was out of work. Sometimes I wanted to pop off with attacking there weaknesses, but what would that prove, spitefullness? I think some people feel obligated to check up on the ones they care about. But in any case, it's these situations that help us prepare for conoling someone elsle. So we don't step on our friends toes. Good luck on the job search, I'm right there with you. Economy SUCKS!!!!!!

Answer 7

For the same reason they ask a single person if they are dating anyone, and a dating couple if they are getting married and a married couple when they are going to have kids, and a pregnant woman when the baby is due and a couple with a baby when the next one is expected and on and on and on. It never stops.

Answer 8

I think it comes from genuine concern. I know it's stressful not having work, but unless their tone is blatantly derrogatory, I'd just give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they're just trying to be friendly and caring.

Answer 9

I think generally if they ask you is because they are either interested, curious, or really care to know. But after a while it DOES get irritating when they keep asking over and over, and the answer is still no. I think it reminds you of your failure to find a job, and that irritates you. I can totally relate.

Answer 10

I was ther and got so sick of my friends asking that I refused to answer the phone... but in retrospect I think they really want to see you do well, they just keep on asking about the job becasue they want to you to know there concern. Jobs make up a good portion of our lives whether we want to admit it or not!!