Has anyone else noticed that the minute you become engaged people start asking you questions such as "Where will you two live?" and other such things about the rest of your married life together? How did you handle these questions when you just don't know yet... we are 10 months away from the wedding and it's just too early to start looking into apartments and/or houses. Sometimes I get asked this type of a question so much in one day that I just wanna scream that I don't even know what my bridesmaids are wearing, let alone where I'll be living in a year... but whenever I answer that I don't know, the asker looks at me judgementally as though they just know that our marriage won't last. It's annoying!!!
2006-09-12 05:47:27 · 20 answers · asked by krystalinereality 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Its just the normal questions ppl ask. The ones that know you, worry about you. I know what ya mean tho, it gets aggravating.
2006-09-12 05:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Smile and say, "We haven't quite decided on a place yet, but we are looking." then immedieately ask them a question like "Isn't it frustrating looking for a new apartment/house?"
Be prepared the person my be prosistant if they ask where you have been looking and you don't have an answer they will give you an even stranger look... So when that question comes if it does say "We have it narrowed down to a few areas and we are keeping it between us til we decide." Wait a beat then change the subject to something you would rather discuss...
The person will usually drop the subject at this point if they haven't when you asked your first question... At which point change the subject to something you would rather discuss...
The best way to avoid certain questions is to steer the conversation away from them instead of answering "I don't know" answer with a non-commital yet positively slanted answer.. then change the subject.. People are more likely to stop asking if they can be made to think you are on top of it all and they need not worry about you and your future..
The positive noncommital answer works well with husbands too... Just don't use it often, husbands catch on if you use one tactic too often and you can avoid a few arguements and disagreements because his ego will be unbruised and you gain some peace and quiet instead of an afternoon arguing about something so minor it won't matter next week..
2006-09-12 13:12:56 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They are just happy for you and want to know your plans. We get asked that a lot too. Just tell them that you are taking time to view all of your options. Tell them you have looked into buying a house but haven't really decided where and noticed that the real estate market is changing rapidly and that you are waiting for it to become more stable. Also tell them that your careers are important and you may or may not look into other places where the market is better. If you make it sound like you have done your research but haven't decided on something yet people will usually back off and tell you "I think that is a great idea" Just tell them you are thinking about all of that but right now just taking time to enjoy this new and exciting time in your life. They aren't judging you but bride to bride do try to have your dress and bridesmaids dressed order 6 months before the big day. I gave myself 10 months and its enough time to plan and not stress out so don't feel pressured. Good Luck.
2006-09-12 12:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah J 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont worry about others, these are questions you should ask him! How on Earth is it too early to look for an apartment? These are the things you absolutely must know before you get married!!!! How old are you 15? This is the cause of the high rate of divorce maybe you should find out some things about eachother before you get married!!
Does he want children?
Does he want to stay close to his parents?
Does he want you to work or not work?
How many kids?
How will you raise them?
Where does he want to live? ETC
These things dont seem major but if you disagree they can be.
2006-09-12 12:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by dreamgirl4myboy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't let people intimidate you....and don't try to find the perfect answer for people. Forming prefabricated responses is a bad idea too...you'll only annoy yourself for saying the same rehearsed speech. Get good at asking questions and learn to direct the focus back to the person asking the questions. If you don't know where you are going to live, be honest but optimistic. Your body language is only telling people that you are uncomfortable with the questions that are asked. (Don't act guilty for not having an itinerary for YOUR LIFE. Its YOUR LIFE and not theirs.) If you are uncomfortable and annoyed, try to focus on the bliss of your relationship and not on the planning aspects. Create an atmosphere in the conversation that you are comfortable with.
2006-09-12 13:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by Jack 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get used to it now because once you're married the next question will be "when are you going to have kids?" i've been married for 3 years now & people still ask us even though i always answer the same way, "when someone offers to pay for daycare, which where i live, is almost as much as the ridiculous high cost of my rent. either that or if my family offers to move down here & help out with babysitting. then i'll have kids."
2006-09-12 13:18:08 · answer #6 · answered by ms v 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them you will live happily ever after in a blissful love nest. Ha! Just try not to worry about it. If you're confident in yourself and your ability to make these decisions as the time comes, then just ignore their judgemental looks. Besides, it only gets worse when you're a newly wed..."How's married life treating you?"..."When are you going to have a baby?".
Good Luck!
2006-09-12 12:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by Laurel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
annoy them back by say ing this " were not worry about the future God is in control" talk about looks they will have there mouth opened LOL i use to say well were taking this one step at a time wedding ,housing babys , or maybe baby wedding housingLOL give them hell!!and kep a sense of humor good luck
2006-09-12 12:52:43 · answer #8 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just explain that right now we are concentrating on wedding plans and haven't given much thought to that. When all plans are finalized then we can worry about other stuff, but thank you for your thoughts and concern.
2006-09-12 12:50:15 · answer #9 · answered by slanteyedkat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait til the wedding when they ask you when you're going to start a family! Like any of this is any of their business.
2006-09-12 12:52:08 · answer #10 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋