How do you deal with the guilt of loving one child more? Is this normal?

Answer 1

I have a favorite but each of my children will tell you it is the other. They do not know who it is. They bring this up when they are in trouble and the other is not. But each can tell you what makes them special to me!

Answer 2

Being an only child had it's down side, but it had it's good points, too. No sibling rivalry, no parents playing favorites. And no, it is not normal to love one child more, and it can be very bad for both kids if you do. You said that you love one child less, you really didn't say you are just playing favorites. One child will grow up unloved, the other could be a spoiled brat. And they will not like each other very much.
I would not "live with the guilt," I would fix the problem, fast, before it is too late. Do not kid yourself into thinking that the child does not know, because they do, even if they are small. You will have a resentful, maladjusted kid on your hands, very soon if you don't fix it.. And don't think that the loved child doesn't know, and will learn, if it hasn't already, how to take advantage.
Why don't you love the kid? Are you too much alike, too not alike? Is the kid not as well behaved?[Do not blame the kid for this, it may already know, and is acting out for attention].
Get some counseling, from a professional, at church, where ever you can. And be ready to list why you feel this way.
Meanwhile, try to get the kid some love, enlist grandparents to take up the slack until you get your head back on straight. Great if you can tell mom and dad what the problem is, but if you can't, just ask them for some babysitting and some spoiling for both kids
If you choose to do this yourself, you can. Give the kids equal time, hugs and kisses.Do not single one out, for good or for bad,try not to criticize more than necessary..Watch the Nanny show on tv, find other shows on tv to watch, go to the library, they might have a book about this. Do some one on one for both kids. Have kid #1 day, they get two hours, for instance, alone with mom to do whatever they choose, and do exactly the same thing, letting kid #2 decide what to do, if they are old enough for that.
Sorry for your troubles, hope I have not offended, and was a little help.

Answer 3

I'm not sure if you really 'love' the one child more, or if you just enjoy that child's personality more than the other child. Sometimes children are disagreeable, or they're just very hard to get on with as a parent. The best you can do is give yourself equally to both children, and keep it to yourself that you favor one over the other. Try not to make it obvious, otherwise it will make the left out child feel badly, and that is when the guilt will really get to you.

Answer 4

I wonder if you're confusing love for compatibility....it's impossible to mesh with every childs likes. It's impossible to enjoy doing everything every child does. And it's quite normal to have interests along the lines of one child but not the other, just depending on what they like to do or not do. You shouldn't feel guilty about it...it's just the way it is. Same reason you or anyone, married their spouse...they found in them the compatibility they desired, shared interests and such. I'm sure, as a mother myself, you don't love any one child more than the other....If any of your children were killed today and never again did you hear their voice, would you miss any one of them less? Would the hurt be less because it wasn't the child you shared more interests with? Not at all...your heart would ache just as much and you would feel just as sad I'm sure. You're normal......just be careful of how you deal with your children....Don't show favortism towards one over the other, because even if you think you're doing it descreetly, that other child will pick up on it. I hope your guilt goes away because you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Answer 5

I have loved each of my children differently. Each person has a unique personality and sometimes personality clashes may occur. One child caused more problems so it was hard to feel affectionate at times but every child was always loved, if not liked at the moment. It's normal and there's no need for guilt.

Answer 6

I love my daughter more than my stepdaughter i think that is normal but i don't know that i will love my new little one and my daughter any different.It may be a different kind of love but not more.I don't know really i would just not feel guilty if i were you just don't show favortism or ever let the children know how you feel because you could do major damage to the child you don't love as much.

Answer 7

I think every parent has a favorite,but the other child can feel he or she is not the favorite and this can affect that child,so try to be fair with both of them,and that no one notices.

Answer 8

well to me i think being a parents, you should love all your child.. cuz' they all your blood... you should love from more or less because then you don't deserved to be a parents... that's not normal... that's how in my b/f family.. they have three son. he have an older brother and a younger... and he's da middle one... his mom love his youngest the most den his older brother... so he's the least favor.... that's sad though.... but he say that growing up being the least favor and doesn't get the attention from his mom... make him feel really sad and leave out ... i feel sorry for him though....

Answer 9

It is normal, but avoid showing it openly. That was why Joseph's brothers conspired against him. There are evidences in the scriptures that even God had favourites among his prophets and races.

Answer 10

It is normal... but keep it to yourself, FROM EVERYONE... don't even talk about it and if ever asked, you love all of them equally.