We've been together about a year. I broke up with her 2 days ago because she was controlling, stubborn, and just had to have things her way. So I had her move out. She swears up and down that she knows she was wrong and is begging for a second chance. I love her to death and miss her but I'm afraid that it will just be the same again. And I know if we hadnt had these problems that I would have stayed with her to begin with. Since she has left, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, but i miss her and want to believe her when she says things will be different. Should I give her a chance to come back? Or leave well enough alone no matter how hard it is?
2006-09-12 04:37:35 · 20 answers · asked by Joe S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
leave it alone---try a new g/f it will be the same ole same ole
2006-09-12 04:39:46 · answer #1 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would like to say, when two people live together and one asks another to move out on such a short notice, isnt a good thing for the relationship. Its like a marriage one partner cannot just pack up and leave. If she is safely staying with friends/family and it isnt causing a financial hardship then i say the two of you need to have a little alone space and take a step back and fully see what the problem(s) are and if the two of you can truly resolve the issues.
If the move actually caused her financial hardship, then she may want to beg you to take her back because she needs a place to stay and if that is the case if you really love her, you wont let her be on the streets.
Of course you miss her because there is a two year relationship and of course you feel a huge burden has been lifted; however, rushing back into anything too quickly just satisfies that lonely and the love feeling.
When people are controlling and stubborn it isnt something they can change in two to three days, but it is something that needs to happen over time and you need to give her specifics about what you are speaking.
2006-09-12 11:49:13 · answer #2 · answered by Let Love be the Reason 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you.
Believe me, a girl/guy does not change in days.. months.. years unfortunately.
Your girlfriend did not change.
If you feel a burden was lifted since she is gone, you answered your question yourself.
It will not get any better. May be you guys need time apart to come to realise things.
You might want to give her a second chance but unfortunately, it will only be to find out that it will come back to the same situation you had before she left.
Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision. Everything happen for a reason... there is no wrong or right in the matter of the heart.
Good luck to you.
2006-09-12 11:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by Shaana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really and truly love her give it another chance. But I would take it slow this time. Maybe living apart and dating is the best choice for now until you are 100% sure that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your days with. Good luck to you. I hope it all works out for the best no matter what you decide
2006-09-12 11:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, stick to your guns as far as the moving out goes. If you balk on that, a very bad precedent will be set and it seems paramount that some "rules" (I hate to call them that) be established between the two of you if there's is going to be a chance to reconcile your relationship. I don't suggest trying to "date" her again until you have a clear idea of what you speciffically want to be different and can convey that to her in a logical, unemotional way. (Remember to listen, too. You might see things a little differently) Then move ahead only as fast as the appearance of the changes becomes apparent.
2006-09-12 11:46:53 · answer #5 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leopards generally cannot change their spots. However, given that you miss her so much and she is desparate for a second chance ... the furthest I would recommend you go is to start dating from stage one .... do not let her move back in. Test the waters out, see if she is able to change her ways before inviting her back with open arms.
Otherwise, move on --- there's lots more girls out there.
2006-09-12 11:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by cdnponygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that since you really love her you should give her another chance. Don't go into the relationship thinking she hasn't changed, but don't forget the possibility that if she hasn't, you may have to break up again. I think that she deserves a second chance. Good luck!
2006-09-12 11:45:24 · answer #7 · answered by kim6661 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its tough, if you really love her you should give her a second chance because you can always end it again if she starts being like she was. You will never know if things will be different if you dont try it. If it was me and i didnt give her another chance, i would keep wondering about if it would have been different.
2006-09-14 17:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by Jonny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you two should try some couples counseling together, and then make that decision. The reason I say counseling is that I'm assuming it was a long term relationship since you were living together--you don't have to be married.
2006-09-12 11:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by april08momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give it a little more time. Two days is not long enough to change. You let her back right now and things will be the same. Give yourself long enough to know what you truly want and want to deal with.
2006-09-12 11:40:56 · answer #10 · answered by kay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to give her a second chance OK BUT don't have her move in. You need the time and space to evaluate it all.
2006-09-12 11:50:45 · answer #11 · answered by JoeP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋