I was with this girl who ment alot to me and she was so in love with me. she wants children and marriage from me, but i was young and got scared. I had other thigns in my life I felt I needed to experience and find before I could be sure I wanted that too. We broke up 6 months ago and we started hanging out again 2 months ago. I was still afraid to go back with her but still saw myself having a future with her. It seemed like I was just using her for a lay but it was really more complicated than that. 3 weeks ago she still told me she wanted children with me and that she was still in love with me. I got scared and tried ignoring her for a week or 2. She thought I wanted no future with her and took a step to move on. She has had a new b/f for a week who has been saying sweet things to her. I want to spend my future with this girl. How do I get her back. I wanna show her that I can give her all the things she wanted with us. Do I have a chance at being w/ her or is it over?
2006-09-12 04:31:04 · 16 answers · asked by patrick U 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let's think of it this way. In essence you have been pushing her away, then pulling her back, only to push her away again. Learning to live apart from someone is hard enough without all of the games.You have unintentionally been hurting her and she has stood by this whole time waiting for you and being patient. You can only push someone so far before they have to move on ... Are you sure you really want to be with her or are you just scared that you might actually lose her this time around. You had better make sure before you go messing with her again. It is not fair to keep messing with her life if you are not sure of what you want still. She has been through enough and she waited all that time for you to come to your senses. If you are sure you want her back, than you had better mean it, and you had better show her.
Apologize to her for what she has been through and tell her you now know that she is the one for you, and you feel crazy to have ever wondered. Promise her that you will not do this to her again and you want to be by her side always. Just make sure when you make these promises that you mean them. Good Luck.. I hope it isn't too late.
2006-09-12 04:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by OnE GiRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is most likely over. but she may also be going with this guy to see if it will bring you around. do you still talk to this girl at all.? If so tell her how you really feel about her. but everything is moving just a little to fast for you.. You don't seem to be really ready to settle down but you do have your priioritys in order anyway..
Ask her if she can go slow with you..
you never want to rush into a relationship.. just because you are afraid of losing her.. there is something that is holding you back find out what it is and then move on at your own speed..
The only way you can make something like this happen is to talk to her and actually tell her how you are feeling.. she may be willing to wait and move a little bit slower..
Funny how all you men wait until you think you are losing someone to want them..
Not fair to make her wait. if you still don't know what you want from your life.. Take some well spent time with yourself and figure out what your prioritys are that you want to happen in your life. the kids will alway come later when you know what you want
but don't bring them in to the world until you are ready for them . kids have a hard enough time with out having parents that don't care for each other..
2006-09-12 04:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself you get scared off my commitment. I think things are better left unsaid. You had plenty of chances but I don't think you are ready for that. Sure you love the girl and you always will, but don't play with her heart. You don't want things to get so bad where you cant even talk to her. Maybe you do have a chance with her...but remember one thing...things might not be the same anymore. Another thing having children is a big commitment...if your not ready don't do it. I'm glad you told her your not ready. Its best 2 decide together not one. Things happen for a reason...you two are in different places now that's all.
2006-09-12 04:43:05 · answer #3 · answered by ♪♫♫♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your now ready to step up to the plate and wanting to be with this person, I suggested contacting her and seeing if you guys can talk see where she is first in this relationship, its pretty new as you stated, she may not want you now cause she has found someone wh ois ready and willing to give her the dreams she has always wanted with you, but let her know that your ready and your sorry it took you this long to see it, if she says no, then your best bet is to move on, or you can do like some guys do and just stay single and see if she will return to you, they say if you love someone and you let them free and if they return it was meant to be.
2006-09-12 04:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend, why do u insist on using this girl?
she was all urs even up to 4wks ago, but u were still scared, suddenly u "need" her. I'll tell u wht u really miss in this girl. U MISS CONTROLLING HER EMOTIONS" let her be.
Grow up and pray u get another chance with someone who is as devoted as she has been.
Pls Grow up. hw old are u by the way? and where do u come from. environment affects ppls maturity. u hv really proved that girls mature faster than boys. am sorry but wake up. life is more than a lay.
2006-09-12 04:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by lifejourney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she told you that she still wants to be with you and she loves you. So go get her. You don't fall out of love with someone over night. If you let things go on like this, she will move on. Right now someone else is painting a pretty picture, that you should have been painting yourself. If you love someone you want to do things to make them happy. If you want this girl do somethng about it. If you snooze you loose! Hope this helped
2006-09-12 04:36:42 · answer #6 · answered by Paulda37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thought you were referring to me, just kidding of course haha.
you can get her back if you ask to talk with her and lay down all your cards. you tell her your fears and your concerns. all you have to do is to be HONEST with her. there's no better substitute for being honest with the person you love.
i can no problem on her part. the problem lies with you so definitely only you can solve this. tell her that you both would rather enjoy each other's company first before you even consider marriage. try to explain things to her and for sure whe will understand you.
you still have a chance to get her back so go for it before it's too late for you.
good luck!!!
2006-09-12 04:44:45 · answer #7 · answered by smiling face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to tell her how you feel. You seem to know what you want. But you need to tell her at the same time that you're scared. It is scary when you figure out who you're supposed to be with. Trust me I speak from experiance.
2006-09-12 04:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the first thing you need to do as of now is decide what you really wanted to become or happen in your life. . .i think you need to do that 1st and foremost before trying to get gher back so if you will be reconciled someday., your relationship will not be wasted.
2006-09-12 04:38:49 · answer #9 · answered by risza_14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all... you are a total idiot. you had the chance to be with her and you blew them both... now you are sad and scared because she found someone who really does appreciate he and love and give her the things you couldnt, and now you want her because she moved on and you dont want her to be with anyone else but you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you need to talk to her, and tell her your feelings and if you get another chance, please dont blow it, trust me, im in a relationship of 2 yrs. i love my man to death and would do anything to be with him. dont let love pass you by
2006-09-12 04:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by *Playmate* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋