This is my great-grandson. He was an 'angel' until just recently. Last week, playing, he hit another boy to tears, and yesterday, I took him to McDonald's to play in the tubes, and he bit a little boy while in there. I immediately took him out, and took him home, and no cartoons last night. I talked to him about it, but wonder why kids do this, and how can I help him get over it? He is an only child.
2006-09-12 04:14:43 · 16 answers · asked by violetmax 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
This may sound horrible, but I broke my oldest daughter with it...The ONLY way to break him of it, is to bite him back. Now wait, before you freak out, understand this... you don't have to even leave marks, and don't bite him hard at all, just enough to hurt his feelings.... I sWEAR this works, almost magically. You can take away ALL of the things he loves, but he will continue to bite, unless you show him how it feels to be bitten. HONESTLY IT WORKS...
2006-09-12 04:19:21 · answer #1 · answered by carolina_girl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't bit him back! I can't believe so many suggest to injure a child to teach a lesson! Biting him back will only reinforce the message that biting is okay. "If grandma can bite me, I can bite someone."
It sounds like he is trying to finds ways to feel powerful. You say that he has been an "angel" until recently. Have there been any changes in his life (marriage problems, family issues, move, new school...)? If so, give him lots of extra love and support.
You did what was best by removing him from the situation. You used a logical consequence, the best way to teach a child. Taking away the cartoons, however, was not a logical consequences. It has nothing do do with biting. Continue using logical consequences. If he bites someone, he can't play with them. If he hits someone, he can't play with them. To reinforce the message, say to him "I wanted to take you to McDonald's today but I can't because I'm worried you might bite someone." If he ask you to take him say the same thing. Keep it up until he tells you he will not bite anymore.
If he hurts another child, rush to them and empathize. Say "Ouch! That must have hurt! You must be so upset! Let's get some ice to put on your wound." Ignore your grandson. He will not like feeling left out.
Empathize with your grandson when he is calm. "You must have been really (angry, upset, hurt, mad, frustrated) when you (bit, hit) Johnny. What can you do next time instead of hurting?" He should soon learn to better express himself rather that hurt.
Help him to feel powerful by saying things like "Look how high you can jump! You did that by yourself! You used so many colors on your picture!" These phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful in positive ways. Keep it up! Good luck!
2006-09-12 07:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah...the only child routine....I have an almost-3 yo girl....She started that crap when she started her new day care. I figured it would teach her a lesson to get a dose of her own medicine. When they get time out ir no cartoons, they know it will be over soon, so they dont really learn anythgin from it. SO I would bite her back. Not enough to break skin, just enough to make her go WHOA THAT HURTS! After to or three times of biting her back, she never opened her mouth again. I Aunt-in-law is a childrens therapist, and she said that turnin the tables on a child is the best way to make them stop misbehaving. If they see what they are really doin, and know that everytime they bite, they are going to get bit back, they stop much faster.
2006-09-12 04:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by Hailey B 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if he bite someone u bite him same with hitting i had to do this with my middle child as he drew blood when biting so i bite him once or twice and he has never done it again i also explained to him that is wasnt nice when i bite him so now u know how it feels when u bite other ppl
2006-09-12 19:57:07 · answer #4 · answered by kell2117605 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off Great Grandma, I commend you for removing him from "fun time" and bringing him home. Really, that is so important to show them you are serious. My son used to bite me when he was younger and I have to agree, I used the bite back response as everyone else has explained.
2006-09-12 04:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow- I think 4 yrs old is a little old for the biting habit. I think you did the right thing. If he continues, bite the snot out of him! I know that's a no-no but it works!! My niece used to bite me until I bit her!
2006-09-12 04:53:36 · answer #6 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
whatever you do dont bite him back that will teach him to wrongs make it a right and proubly scare and confuse him my little boy just got out of the biteing stage i would put him in time out and not let him out until he aploigized.
2006-09-12 04:21:02 · answer #7 · answered by sar sar 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Check out the link below.
DO NOT bite him back. There are plenty of other, more gentle and respectful, ways of dealing with this behaviour.
2006-09-12 16:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds bad, but bite him back!! at that age they dont know its wrong or that it hurts, so go ahead and nip him back when he does it. Then say that it hurts doesnt it, and not to do it to other people. My Doctor told this to my mom when I went threw this stage, and one nip is all it took, I never did it again.
2006-09-12 04:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Put a small amount of baking soda on his tongue when he bites... it sounds mean, but it wont hurt him. It will nip the biting problem in the bud.
2006-09-12 04:17:12 · answer #10 · answered by Peace Frog 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋