Do you ever completely get over your first love? And is it possible to be over that person, but still angry years later? The only person I've ever really been in love with is my current boyfriend, and we plan on getting married within the next couple of years. He's only seriously dated one other person, a girl he lost his virginity to who then dumped him. This was, like, six years ago. The few times he's brought this up, it's seemed like he might still be hurting a little bit over it. Is that something that should worry me, or does everyone forever resent the first person they loved who burned them?
2006-09-12 04:14:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your first love leaves a mark. Depending on the type of relationship you have with them what happened and how it eneded. Even without the sex. but your boyfriend decided to have sex with his. And that can't be erased. It's important that you show support and tell him how much you love him and not be concesdenciing or judgemental. He needs to know that you don't blame him for his past or make him feel guilty for his actions. he feels bad enough as it is. He can take a secondary virginity pledge if that helps him. That is where you promise not to have sex again until you are married. It's become extremely common for people who have lost their virginity to do. Tell him not to let the world dictate what he does but to let his heart tell him what to do.
2006-09-12 16:01:16 · answer #1 · answered by leeanndemon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You don't. And hate to tell you this but that person will also become the template for every relationship from then on. That person became so ingrain into the other that it became love. And that's permanent no matter what your nouveau/contemporary attitude towards your life is. When that person is gone, that void is there. We are human and creatures of habit. Don't try to convince yourself otherwise. Here's an example but in a negative situation: Why do people repeat the same vicious cycles in their relationships i.e. select the bad person who ends up cheating on them? Because we are creatures of habit. The positive twist is the same. We love someone because of this or that. Then suddenly that person is gone. But we still need this or that. Then we subconciously seek a person with at least those qualities. The rest becomes background noise although we should listen to it. Ya feel me?
Good luck to you.
2006-09-12 04:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you ever get over your first love. I haven't and it was over 10 yrs ago. I miss him and I think about him but I am older now and I have moved on with my life. Its not really him I miss, its the good times and the fun, and the special moments shared which brought me to love that person. I think your first love is the starting point of loving and after that person, the stage is set for the kind of person you want to be with. I have found myself many times comparring my dates/ relationships with other guys to my first love. I think everyone does that at some point to some degree. NO, I don't beleive you have anything to worry about. Perhaps he is bringing her up because he is letting you know in his way that he never wants to be hurt like that again, especially by you. Men have their suttle ways of getting messages of the heart across to their lover/partner. Just reassure him he has nothing to worry about with you and that you love him, and need him, and want him in your future..... and all will be well. BLessed be.
2006-09-12 04:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its completely natural for him to be a little hurt, even if it was so long ago. However, because he is a little hurt doesn't mean he doesn't love you and wants to be with you. Unless he's calling the girl or acting shady about the subject, then you should have nothing to worry about. I'm sure there is someone you were hurt by.
2006-09-12 04:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by flyboop_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always loved my first love. We dated for 2 1/2 years and then went our own ways. I married had to girls and he married and had a son. We are know married to each other, for 10 years. I never got over him but I still went on with my life and loved my 1st husband but he was always in my heart.
So to answer your questions. No don't be worried! And yes you can be angry for ever, my husband now was my first love and he was angry at me still even through we were dating but he is over it now.
Good luck and Congratulation's on your engagement.
2006-09-12 04:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A grown person who holds resentment that long for anybody is an unhealthy person emotionally.
2006-09-12 04:18:21 · answer #6 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will disagree. You do get over your first love. I have. If they truly hurt you, it may take longer. I think he is over her, just not the situation. I wouldn't worry about it. it probably just hurt his selfesteem. It is just a terrible memory that he doesn't like to revisit.
2006-09-12 04:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a girl who similarly has issue with her first love still. It is something you need to talk about with him specifically. Tell him your fears and ask him to be honest with you.
2006-09-12 04:18:22 · answer #8 · answered by Be nice, or at least funny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never forget your first love,no matter where life takes you.
2006-09-12 04:17:23 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you cant because you REALIZE that you can NEVER find another LOVER like that person!
2006-09-12 04:17:42 · answer #10 · answered by ~*~*~B3@UTY_IZ_M@_N@M3~*~*~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋