hello, i am at work and a gay guy just called me homophobic, and that homophobes are easily manipulated sexually. Is this true? I thought I was just uncomfortable because he said "nice a$$" when he walked in.
Am I SUPPOSED to feel comfortable?
2006-09-12 04:11:12 · 25 answers · asked by kakk333 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
btw, i am straight in every way!!
2006-09-12 04:11:50 · update #1
i like how they say "you must be attracted to him" or "you must really be queer, and just can't admit it" if you make any reference to your own straightness or show revulsion to their fairyness.
if you had said "nice boobs" to a female co-worker you could be facing a sexual harassment charge. so i think the only right thing to do is file your own charge against him. how's that sound?
2006-09-12 04:22:06 · answer #1 · answered by mott the hoople 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends on how uncomfortable you were. If you went running down the hall screaming then it was probably an overreaction. Then again, I can't imagine too many straight guys running down the halls screaming. However, if it were your basic run-of-the-mill feeling uncomfortable then I think you have EVERY right to be uncomfortable. Gay guys can't expect straight guys to be "awed" by sexual remarks like that. I suppose some straight guys could take it as flattery, but that's not going to be the majority of straight guys. Most will feel uncomfortable with such a straightforward comment directed towards them.
Long story short, your reaction appears appropriate based on what you've shared. I wouldn't go clobber the guy now, however. Not to stereotype all gays, but some gay men can be very overt in expressing their sexuality without much restaint. (Ever seen a gay pride parade?) So, know that it can happen. I've had some straight guy friends that have been approached by their gay friends offering to "service" them if they ever want it. Comments like that can damage a friendship because the straight guy has a hard time forgetting stuff like that. Meanwhile the gay friend just thinks about how awesome it would be to "be" with this straight guy, etc. (I speak as someone who knows both parties. I'm not just making this up).
For what it's worth.
2006-09-12 04:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by take_me_to_the_beach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he tell you he thinks you have a nice *** or that someone else there does? If he said it to you, that doesn't make you homophobic at all. I'd generally be uncomfortable with someone telling me I have a nice *** or boobs. The person's gender and sexual orientation have nothing to do with it, it's just not appropriate. If he thinks his sexual orientation can be used to justify sexual harassement he's wrong. If he makes comments of that nature on a regular basis, tell your supervisor.
If he said it about someone other than you it's a little harder to call. In that case, just think about if it would make made you equally uncomfortable if a straight guy said that of a girl under the same circumstances. If it would, then you're not homophobic, it just was an inappropriate comment. If it was just because he's a guy, then maybe you are little homophobic.
2006-09-12 05:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that makes you "homophobic". This was sexual harassment, an unwanted comment or gesture about your body. If you said the same thing to a woman, you'd probably be sitting in Human Resources right now. Dont worry about it, if he continues, let him know that you just do not appreciate being talked to in that way. However, if you're ok with everyone else looking at your *** in public, and only have a problem with him, then you may be a bit "homophobic". Just because someone compliments you doesnt mean they want you.
2006-09-12 04:20:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have the right to be upset by what he said...but if you think about it, when a man tells a female coworker that she had a nice *** and she reacts in a negative way, they make coments about her too, they say she is a lesbian, that she is uptight, that she can't take a joke...exc exc exc...
Welcome to what women get! But your reaction to his comment about being a homophobic is what is actually making you look bad! If a woman tells me I have a nice *** I say thank you, and leave it at that! That doesn't mean anything, except that I took it as a compliment. I think if I was a straight man and a gay man told me I had a nice *** I would be excited, and feel like I just got a large compliment!
2006-09-12 04:22:13 · answer #5 · answered by stangwoman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't. I'm gay and I never treat anyone like that. That is sexual harassment, plain and simple. Whenever a suggestive statement is said with absolutely no provocation and it places you in an uncomfortable situation, then you don't have to deal with it and accept it. This has nothing to do with being homophobic, but with the level of appropriateness, especially in an office setting.
2006-09-12 04:17:42 · answer #6 · answered by placebo_effect 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not afraid of homosexuals. It seems that you are afraid of one being attracted to you, as if it might make you feel "gay" or that you might be a target of sexual harassment.
However, you have to exercise better judgement, and generally, homosexuals just have different sexual orientation, it doesn't mean that they are sex predators. So if he doesn't make advances that make you uncomfortable, then leave him alone to do his own business until he does attempt to harass you.
Don't be too petty! Take his comment as a compliment. Gays have the right to praise other people's anatomy too! Of course there are limits, but it would be the same if a female also said your as is nice, right? There is no need to interpret every word of his as an invitation to a gay relationship with him.
So just relax dude. Nice *** eh?
2006-09-12 04:22:03 · answer #7 · answered by lkraie 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
no longer attempting to be insulting the following, yet you're being slightly irrational about it. in no way that i'll develop into attentive to does his failure for your preconceived notions about how a gay male might want to behave. Hell, i have been for homosexuals breaking with the stereotypes for years. If the media has to cease making relaxing people because we do not adhere to the stereotype, then people initiate to make certain us more desirable as people. in case you want to understand what i imagine, my idea is that you need to get to understand them and detect strategies to maintain in mind that they do no longer might want to "act gay" to be gay. there is my 2 cents. D
2016-11-26 19:41:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that homosexuals are so because they were led into it by another homosexual. I have been lured-- unsuccessfully-- many times. Anyone has the potential to engage in homosexual acts; in today's permissive society there is less discouragement of this behavior. Therefore, today's homosexual-- like any miserable human seeks company (as the saying goes) and in your case by challenging you he is finding out by your reaction if you are 'curious'. Don't worry about feeling comfortable. Any kind of comment made to you in the workplace about your physical appearance-- especially if it is sexual-- is harassment and ought to be reported.
2006-09-12 04:34:18 · answer #9 · answered by Double O 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Women have put up with this kind of stuff from men for years. When it happens to a guy they turn into a big cry baby. So what, a guy told you you had a nice ***. Big deal.
2006-09-12 10:09:54 · answer #10 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋