WHY do some people take vows "until death due us part"???

Question

when 51% of CA gets divorces or annulments for reasons (good reasons)...alcoholism, drug problems. person decides not to work, and so forth??? I personally feel those vows ought to be take out...They are not for this society today...what's your opinion on this??? or the famous.."we just could not get along)...

Answer 1

While I understand & recognise your point about divorce, I don't see the need to take out "'Til death do us part". First, don't ignore those who's marriages have worked out- possibly your grandparents or distant aunts/uncles. So the principle still holds true for almost half. Second, people that have gotten divorced obviously were not right for each other to begin with but they didn't recognise the problem before they got married. I don't think those who did have success should be punished for the actions of others. Third, I'm a tradtionalist at heart and I've been to 'alternative' styles of weddings (not gay- native American for one example) and they just don't 'do it' for me. They seem empty somehow. I'm not saying its wrong- just not right for me. I would like to include 'Til death do us part' in my wedding. Can't imagine it not being there.
Have a great day!!!

Answer 2

I think your ideas are selfish. They do not solve anything but make a greater problem in the world. The truth is a husband and a wife in this day and age do not understand their roles in such a relationship. Call me old-fashioned if you will, but the ideal marriage relationship as was in the early -to- mid 1900s is not understood nor practiced by the general population. There is no gender to blame. The respect and admiration and love that are deserved and demanded in marriage must come from both corners.
"Until death do us part" covers nothing but the fact that civil marriages do not have the authority to commit a husband and a wife to a mortal marriage relationship. It Signs their divorce papers for them.
The truth is that the family can be perpetuated beyond the grave with the proper authority.

I believe you are referring rather to "in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, etc." that symbolizes the efforts of both to be united in holy matrimony. Believe me, ANY COUPLE THAT MARRIES has the capabilities of being united in purpose and love. It takes effort on both parts.

As for this society, we desperately need the family. A home where parents take time to teach their children correct principles, not only by principle but also by practice. It is there where our young people will learn to be law-abiding citizens (at least) and if greater values were instilled within the family it is there where those greater values would be instilled. There are no excuses for a fall apart home.

When a man and a woman choose to be wed they need understand that it is a commitment relationship. That is where we end up falling apart. A husband blames a wife, and a wife blames a husband. They both give up and fall out of love over the years and bad habits start to formulate with either couple (alcoholism, abuse, pornography, and so on down the list).

It is far easier to put forth effort in the beginning to be one with each other than it will ever be to struggle to forgive one another and rebuild trust and love.

Answer 3

No on who is planning a wedding is planning a divorce.
You don't get married with the intent to not stay together.
Everyone who gets married thinks that they will not be included in the "51%" of failed marriages.
What would be the point of marrying a person, for a while?
Kind of takes the romance out it if you take out "until death do us part" and replace it with "until one of us becomes addicted to alcohol or drugs, loses their job, screws around, or loses their damn mind".

Vows can be changed to suit the couple making them. So, I think we can't mandate that everyone lose the death vow!
Good question

Answer 4

Some people take their vows seriously, and some people don't. I don't think that any vows should be taken out.

Before we got married, my husband and I went to pre-marriage counseling, separately and together. I think this really helped us. People should think of the future when they get married, not just how they feel at that moment. I think it should be mandatory that everyone take 50 or more hours of marriage counseling before they get married instead of spending their whole engagement period wrapped up in the wedding plans. Because for many, it is more about the wedding than about the marriage.

I think the vows should say the same, the people saying them need to change.
I hope this helps.

Answer 5

probably because couples when they get married always hope for a happy ending in stories or movies, but things don't always work out in real life. I agree that vows like that are not true in some cases in reality but that's what encourages a long and happy marriage.

Answer 6

It's "until death do us part" and because it is traditional. Many ppl do marry with the intent to stay married. Some get married with the idea as long as they both think it's a good idea. I think it's mainly because some ppl confuse love with lust.

Answer 7

Death due us? I don't think that's correct. Anyway... our society is marriage crazy and divorce crazy. So it does seem like this doesn't really apply. I guess they could change it to "until divorce or death do us part".

Answer 8

I said this in my vows...because it is what I felt then and now..Vows can always be changed to suit the people getting married, if they don't believe in this line, then they can delete it

Answer 9

i said this because i meant it 34 years ago and still going strong. i think divorce is to convenient and it makes people not want to try and work things out when they have problems. marriage should be until death do you part, not until one of us gets bored!

Answer 10

well, when people get married, they intend to stay together until the end. (death). i'm sure they don't get married just to get divorced in a few months or years.