I am engaged to a wonderful, sweet, goodlooking, charming, hardworking man in Morocco. I am in the USA. I recently went to see him for 10 days, and i have been home a month now..and i am going crazy!! I want to go back to be with him, and wait for his visa to go thru. I am willing to sell my house, and one of my cars to be able to go there with my children. One child is not too happy, but my daughter wants to go. I plan on homeschooling them while we are there. Also they can take classes at the American Center there. I think the experpience would be great for them. I love this man with all my heart, but my children are number 1 in my life. How do i get them to understand, that sometimes we must safrifice things in order to better our lives down the road. Please give me advice!!!!
2006-09-12 03:39:29 · 18 answers · asked by friendsrule4ever 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just so you know children all over the world freak out when they find out that their parents are moving. It is the natural thing to do. However one thing remains constant and that is the fact that you are the parent and you make the decisions. For good or bad it is all up to you and what you need to do in order to raise your kids the way they need to be raised. Of course they may not agree with you and may be upset for a little while, they will learn to enjoy and appreciate the new experiences they will have. You do what you need to do and your children will be fine. Congratulations on your engagement and your new life to come !
2006-09-12 04:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by OnE GiRL 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay, so you just stated this:
"How do i get them to understand, that sometimes we must sacrifice things in order to better our lives down the road. "
read that back to yourself....
YOU are the PARENT! You should be the one sacrificing. Sacrifice some time without this man (until he can get here) in order to better you and your families life down the road! Who knows what could happen, this man might not be meant for you and your childrens future. Love is patient. You should be patient and wait until he comes here. I don't think selling your home and car would be a smart idea. What happens if you really need that later in life, but its gone? thats a drastic change to put your children through... sorry to say this, but it would be selfish of you to do that, its a big risk to take.
If it seems like the right thing, but its at the wrong time, then it's actually the wrong thing. ~Anon.
2006-09-12 10:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by lily 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A home is security for children. If you just up and sell the house and your car and take off around the world to see this man that I am sure they barely know it will traumatize them. Even the child who is in support of it may live to regret it.
I agree with the other responders. You need to put your children first. Wait for his Visa to go through. It is not worth sacrificing everything just to be with him a little sooner.
2006-09-12 10:55:00 · answer #3 · answered by jennypoo803 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I understand that your kids mean the world to you, but remember your there mom. If your not planning to put them in harms way and your sure you have this situation planned out and you have a back up plan then by all means do what you must! I am a single mother of three and I know what your going through. You can't always make you kids happy they will have to adapt and over come your the boss! They have to understand (or not) that mom needs to be happy also! The outcome for them will be better I'm sure.
2006-09-12 10:52:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with everyone here saying that children come first and they should be your number one priority, but you also need to be happy.
If you are in love with this man and he loves you and you are planning on getting married and you've checked him out top to bottom ( i mean background and everything) then i see no harm and moving your family there to be with him.
I would be a great culturial experience for your children and who knows the one that dosent want to go may fall in love with the place.
Once he gets his visa you can always come back if the kids arent happy there.
But you are the parent and sometimes we have to do things kids dont like to make their lives better.
Childern get in a safe zone and dont like to leave it, but we need to make decisions as parents that will benifit the whole not just what the kids want.
2006-09-12 11:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by bree30 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why a man in Morocco? Did you meet him on the internet?
I personally wouldn't sell your house and a car. Wait for his Visa to go through. Your kids are probably going to have a hard enough time adjusting to a new man in their life....don't uproot them from thier home too.
2006-09-12 10:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ur Childs may be too small to understand this better u go on ur way in the same time take care of them which will make them understand u when they mature.
Since a partner is a must better go on.
2006-09-12 10:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by Sampath 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents shipped me over seas and we lived in Turkey for 2 years and we were home schooled too. Let me tell you, it was miserable for me. Especially for a young girl coming into her adolesence. Dont ship your whole family over there for a man. Your kids should be your number one priority and you willing to pack up and leave everything for a man who lives half way across the world is showing them otherwise. You want to make a decision that is good for the whole family,not just yourself.
2006-09-12 10:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by -*~KrissyJo~*- 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the feeling is a mutual one and he is as eager as you then love should prevail. Your children do not have the reasoning or life experience to make these choices, they may be unhappy with the decision at first but will acclimate to their surrounding once you move. If the union is a happy one then the adjustments will not be so difficult!
2006-09-12 12:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is one thing for you to sacrifice things for love, but you are asking your children to make a major sacrifice for you. Do you really think that's fair? They will not only be leaving the country, they will be leaving everything and everyone that they know and love. I think it's a bad idea. Wait for him to make the sacrifice for your family. If it's real then hold on to it and don't rush to move away.
2006-09-12 10:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by angielynn219 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋