I am separated 1 1/2 years, getting ready to be divorced from my ex.
I have recently started chatting with a chap from London & I want him with my eyes open, no false ideas of love or anything like that, but I really want to get to know him.
I have 2 kids from my ex, & the new guy is fine with them.
My problem is that I had gotten used to the idea I was gonna be alone & was planning to get my tubes tied this December (my christmas present lol).
Should I go thru with it or wait to see where my feelings go with the new guy?
2006-09-12 03:20:59 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Never said I have chosen him to be my future husband or sperm donor people LMAO.
Just want to make sure I'm making the right choice for my future
2006-09-12 03:28:27 · update #1
I left my ex more than a year ago & told him this week I want a divorce. He had a "wondering willy" problem & i no longer have any feelings for my ex.
2006-09-12 03:40:08 · update #2
Dont do it until your absoultely sure.
I'm 30 yrs old, i had both of my kids pretty early and had my tubed tied when i was 21and had a hypo thermal ablation (elective procedure for bad periods) then ended up divorced and alone.
About 3 yrs ago i met the man of my dreams hes wonderful and i fell in love very quickly as did he.
One problem he was 35 divorced and no kids.
He really wanted one of his own, I've been to the dr and because of the elective surgery i can never give him his own child, This broke my heart, but he is fine with it he only said well maybe god didnt mean for me to have my own maybe im just suppost to love yours as if they were mine (and he does) hes a wonderful step father. But i would give anything if i could give him a child of his own.
If you want to do it for precaution then talk to your GYN and see if he can clamp your tubes. This will make it much easier for the dr's to reverse so that you can conceive if you ever want another baby.
Don't go for the whole cut, tie and burn. This makes it very difficult for a reversal.
God Bless you in what ever choice you make.
2006-09-12 03:37:26 · answer #1 · answered by bree30 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Noone should simply "get used" to being alone, life will always offer a way out of this, if you really like this guy then do take the time to get to know him, its great that he likes your kids some men are usually put off, i would suggest putting the operation on hold for a while til you see where things go after all in the future there may be the desire for another child and if after everything you decide thats not what you want then the option is still open to you so for now i just suggest finding out more about him, enjoy your time together and buy some chocs for christmas instead!
2006-09-12 03:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by Kalina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were planning to have your tubes ties - then that means you were not planning to have more children. Why should meeting a bloke change that? Maybe you should continue with other less drastic forms of birth control - until you are absolutely sure about your feelings for this man and whether or not you really want to have more children - not just with this bloke - but with any other bloke. If this man is happy with the status quo at the moment - then why change it? Your relationship with any man - as a single mother - will alter significantly once you are bloated, weepy, sleep deprived and the mother of a newborn baby. You need to talk to the new man in your life and find out where babies rate in his life plan.....and what impact a new baby to a different father will have on your other two children. Hasten slowly!
2006-09-12 03:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a difficult decision to make. You need to think about what you really want, not what some guy you like may want. You need to ask yourself if you want anymore children in the future, this is your body and your decision. I would recommend that you postpone the procedure for the time being until you know what you want to do. I also think that you wanting this procedure in the first place may have something to do with your break up with your ex, and the feelings of loneliness you had experienced. You do not have to go through with this, there are many forms of contraception you can use. You never know what the future may hold, and this procedure is permanent, don't do anything you may regret.
2006-09-12 03:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by fifi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Because you have to ask the question, you're not ready to tie your tubes. If you could tell me, "I don't care if Prince Charming himself comes along with unlimited resources, I am DONE birthing more children and I don't even want a man who wants more" then it would be time. But you're not that committed to the idea right now. You might regret doing it. But if you think it through and decide that your kids are enough and should be enough for any future man, and you're willing to let ANY man go who doesn't think they are, then ok. Just make sure those things are firmly and thoroughly discussed before any future marriages.
2006-09-12 03:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would wait. When I got divorced I looked at it this Way, I would marry and have more kids with my new hubby or I would marry someone who had kids of their own and be done. I kept my options open. I used the IUD for birth control because it is good for five years. I did remarry and now two kids with my new husband. I am so glad I kept those options open for myself and the man I love. If it in the end you decide to get them tied then at least you know you waited to be sure. Good luck with the new guy and enjoy.
2006-09-12 03:27:16 · answer #6 · answered by Hollli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention your age. But if you are having second thoughts you may want to wait. Even if your new romance doesn't work out you may regret your decision. By the way, I had my tubes tied when I was 23, very young I know, but there were some special circumstances, and I have had very little regrets. There are children globe wide, that need good, loving homes. Peace and Good luck.
2006-09-12 03:25:42 · answer #7 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have questions about whether you should do it or not, then the answer should be NO. This is something you need to be 100% sure about. Sounds like you are not 100% with the idea. Whether it is with him or someone else. You should never do this unless you are positive you no longer want children. When I had my tubes tied, the Dr. asked, what would you do if something should happen to your child ~ you will no longer be able to conceive. Will you be able to handle no having any more children???? PLEASE think long and hard before making this decision.
2006-09-12 03:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by JUNONNKI 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you're asking the question on here shows that you need to take time to make sure you're making the right decision. I'd wait and be very careful with good old contraception in the meantime! Hope it works out with this other guy and even if it doesn't you never know whats around the corner.......
2006-09-12 03:25:42 · answer #9 · answered by sarahlee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your tubes tied. You already have 2 lovely kids there is no need to make more in a new relationship and make your other children feel like outsiders in your home. Make those 2 kids your center of attention and be happy!
2006-09-12 03:24:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋