My stepdaughter is 19,has no job,not in school?

Question

this is an addition to my prevoius question on ....does my husbands daughter need to help with the house hold chores.
she does not pay rent and does nothing to help in the house. now pregnant.

Answer 1

So let me get this straight - She lives with you, isn't in school, doesn't have a job, doesn't help around the house, doesn't contribute to finances, comes and goes as she pleases, and she's pregnant? So you are supporting her, doing all the cleaning, while she does whatever she wants with no consequences.

Talk to your husband. Tell him that while she is his daughter, she is old enough for responsibility. She needs to either get a job, or be in college. She can't spend her life running around while you two support her. The longer you let this go, the more she will take advantage. Ask him if he wants to end up raising her baby while she continues to run wild. Let him know that whatever she is doing with her time probably isn't a positive thing. She might be drinking, doing drugs, or hanging around people who do. Anyone that age that doesn't work and doesn't go to school isn't doing something very meaningful with their lives.

Lay down the law to your husband. If he is unwilling to take a stand about it, then you should. This is a drain on your finances, it's setting a bad example for your daughter, and she is freeloading off of you two. I can't imagine why he doesn't see this as a problem. It's nuts. Is he willing to let her live with you two forever and not ever have to grow up? He isn't doing her any favors by letting her act like this. How does he expect her to hold a job, manage her finaces, raise a baby, or run her own life when all he is showing her is that it is OK to do whatever she wants when she wants.

If it were me, I would tell her that she either gets a job and starts helping out, or get out. I would not be supporting any child of mine when they are clearly not doing anything positive with their lives. Yes, I love my kids, but no way would I let them run wild and free while I still supported them.

She needs to be contributing one way or another, if not both. She should either be paying rent, or spending a couple of hours each week to help you clean. Even though she isn't home to make the mess, she needs to have some responsibility here.

Answer 2

If she is 19 and has no other responsibilities and does nothing around the house to even help with chores, my Gosh who spoiled this kid into thinking that life is free as long as your living at home? She is certainly an adult and she was adult enough to go out and get herself pregnant. Its time for her to grow up. I would try some tough love on her, pregnant or not. If she didn't have you and your husband to sponge off of then who? Make her get a job or enroll in school. The sooner the better, or she will never learn to be able to make it in this world. What if something happened to you and your husband? She'd be all the sudden left without her lifeline and not know how to support herself or her unborn baby. Like I said do it now or all of you will be sorry in the end. Good Luck

Answer 3

It sounds like you and your husband are inabling her to do these things. If she's still living at home with no job, no schooling, and pregnant, then in my opinion she's lazy. If you let her know she's not allowed to do these things then she won't. It's got to be either get a job or start school or both. How will she support her child? You must tell her she has to start doing something or she's going to have to move out. If you and your husband are letting her do all of these things, she'll continue doing them. You're not teaching her anything by letting everything in life be handed to her. She has to know that what you get is b/c you've worked for it and earned it. If she doesn't earn it, she shouldn't get it. I would just be straight and honest about everything. Obviously you're not very happy about the situation or you wouldn't ask for answers. So you should talk to your husband about a good solution to this problem, and then bring her into the conversation and inform her of all the new changes. Give her responsibility! Good Luck

Answer 4

HELL YEAH SHE NEEDS 2 HELP!! U NEED 2 TELL HER 2 GET A JOB OR GO TO SCHOOL. PUT UR FOOT DOWN AND LET HER KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS. YOU ONLY DOING HER A FAVOR ANY WAY. SHE NEEDS TO BE TOLD AND DIRECTED ON THE RIGHT PATH. IT WILL MAKE A BETTER WOMAN OUT OF HER IN THE LONG RUN. HER BEING PREGNANT ISNT AN ISSUE SHE NEEDS TO GET AND GET SOME EXCERCISE..I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH THIS GENERATION. THEY ALL SEM TO BE SORRY AND WANT SOMETHING 4 NOTHING. PUT A STOP TO THIS PROBLEM NOW. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 5

You said she is only at your home a couple of weeks at a time....so, why do you expect her to pay rent? does your own daughter pay rent?? I think you need to be a better parent to her! Don't just blame the kids when they do wrong...ask yourself what have you done to prevent the wrong doing?! AND if she is pregnant...don't you think she shouldn't be doing too much "chores"??? Do you really want her to carry heavy loads or scrubbing the wet tiles?? I dislike the fact that you had shown no compassion whatsoever toward your stepdaughter...I just sense angry woman who resents a young teen.

* My response is base on the continuation from the previous question.

Answer 6

At her age she needs to become responsible for her life. If she is pregnant she has to learn how to show responsibility to her child. There is no reason why she can't be doing cleaning , laundry and even grocery shopping at her age. A little hard word never killed any of us. Obviously if she isn't made to do anything she isn't going to volunteer. Your husband should be the one to step up to the plate and address this. Sounds like he is overprotective and this doesn't help them. She wouldn't have gotten herself pregnant if she took some responsibility to herself. She should have been old enough to know how to use protection. She needs to grow up now. She is going to be a parent , and is an adult.

Answer 7

I'm kind of in the same situation(starting school next term, looking for a job to pay for it). The best thing would be to have her start doing something. Depending on how far along she is in pregnacy should decide if she should get a job or not, but there's no point in forcing school on someone who doesn't want to learn. It would be a waste of time and money. Ask her if she wants to go to school for anything before you decide she should.

Answer 8

Giver her the choice to work, pay rent or out she goes. I still lived with my parents @ 19 & had my son but I worked and helped out around the house as much as I could. SHe has to own up to her responsibilities now. Good luck!

Answer 9

She needs to grow up. Either she needs kicked to the curb or she needs to be more self sufficient. If you don't do something now you will be raising her child while she sits around and does nothing. If you are old enough to get knocked up then you are old enough to clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry and get a job!!

Answer 10

Honey, u need to put your foot down. She is old enough to get a job or just do something. I call that lazy! She needs to be also helping around the house. She needs to either get a job, go to school, or get out. U are the parent or step parent. Put your foot down.