My dad passed away in August 2004, I was very close to him, I loved him but now I dont really get to make peace with his death, I am most of the time thinking about him, dream about him. How does one get over this feeling?
2006-09-12 02:35:18 · 28 answers · asked by popi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Popi your Dad is your first love he as well as your mom was the one that helped you to be who you are today he will always be in you because you are a produce of his learning and genetics your dreams will fade with time . and you will have other memories to fill your sleeping moments but he will be always be there and you will think of him the way you see him in your mind , You can make your peace with his passing at any time you want just have your own little ceremony to his memory , but that is in your time . just remember that he was a man and he had a daughter that im sure from what you say here he loved dearly and if there is an after life he is one very proud dad looking down over you . Smile and in your heart say hi for me
2006-09-12 02:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very normal , My mom passed away 2 years ago in July .. I still talk with her and talk with the kids about her , it helps , but sometimes when you really need their advise and cant get it , it makes it harder..I watched my mom suffer for 3 long years with a lung disease and I was so happy she doesn't have to live that way anymore , but then I have that selfishness that I want her here and try and tell myself all the time how miserable she was and would be even more so now if she were here..It is very confusing still to this day , I don't cry for her as much , but still do ..They say time heals the broken heart , with some people I am sure it does but with me , it seems to get harder...Good Luck and sorry for your loss and I do hope you can one day have the peace you are looking for over all of this...
2006-09-12 10:43:29 · answer #2 · answered by MARY B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my father in 1999 and still think of him regularly although not daily. When I do I feel the loss as strongly as I did that day. The old saying that time heals everything is false. Any reminders long after the trauma will likely bring back the pain. Time can only heal youth.
The sense of peace you are seeking is coming from this very pain. You are mourning and you are remembering and this is not a bad thing.
I wrote a story about my father because I felt he was entitled to more than a two inch obituary in a newspaper, he was way more than that. I called it "My Father's Hands" and I managed to get it published in a magazine. It gave me great peace. Try something like that. Even if you do not get it published you can send it to other family members and friends who knew him. They will reward you with comments and memories they have of your dad and you will know you have told him your feelings personally. It should help.
2006-09-12 09:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by Robert P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can make peace with someones death, and they are still a part of you. Dreaming about him is normal. Two years is not a long time. Give yourself time to heal. Dont let anyone tell you to get over it. You will come to peace in your own way and on your own schedule. Feel lucky that you had a dad that was so close to you that you feel him still.
2006-09-12 09:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh...i really do not know. I'm going through the same thing..only just a few months ago. I don't think I will EVER get over this feeling. He was my best friend. There is nobody else that could ever take his place. I feel empty. It's> the more you love someone the more it hurts when they die. Yeah...I think there are support groups...but that would not even help me. I talk to my dad alot. I hold my head high...like he taught me to. I have a different outlook on life since that day too...I'm still changing...and will continue to do so...because everything he's taught me. Peace will come...when it is time. I'm waiting to. I feel for ya.
2006-09-12 10:22:34 · answer #5 · answered by Goobean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was 18 my babies father committed suicide in front of me. It was a very tragic experience. The worst part about it is that I had no idea why, and still don't! I too had a hard time letting it go. I started seeing a therapist and she had different things for me to do to let go. One thing was to write a letter to him and say all of the things I didn't get say. To write down how I felt about the situation, basically getting all my feelings down on paper. Then I was suggested to go to the grave site and read this letter outloud. Now I didn't go to the grave for many years after it happened. I struggled with it, but once I did I felt extreme relief. the words just seemed to flow out and the tears, but it was a good feeling. I would suggest you so this sooner rather than later. After I was done, I destroyed the letter, I was done,I had said what I needed to him and felt like he heard me. I was able to move on. I was also suggested to remember all the good times that we shared and to hold them near to my heart! There is no easy cure or fix for what you are feeling. All you can do is grief and do your best to let it go! In life we will all experience the loss of a loved one. It takes time and lot's of prayer! It does get better I promise. It's been 12 years since I lost him, and I still think about it, but one comfort I have is knowing he is in a better place! Good luck, my prayers are with you!
2006-09-12 09:52:15 · answer #6 · answered by faith 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some never really gets over with a loss of a love one .. it takes time but they will always be apart of your heart and your life.
Little things I do, after the passing of my son, I am always finding myself talk to him.. sending him my love and hoping he can hear me. I have started counseling to get over the depression side of it. The first visit I had such a relief that my grieving process was normal.. it could do the same for you. Seek comfort in family and friends, express yourself and know that sometimes you are just going to have a bad day. That is perfectly fine. Also know that your father knew how much you loved him when he past. He knows it now, just carry his memory in your heart daily
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-12 09:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you're thinking and dreaming about him, thats a gift from him. Thats something you don't want to stop thinking about. That just means the two of you were very close and him recognizing it even in the afterlife is wonderful for you. My Mom passes away 14 yrs. ago and I never go a day without thinking about her. Enjoy it for now. It's his way of letting you know he hasn't forgotten yoiu either.
2006-09-12 09:45:43 · answer #8 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question to answer, since people grieve in different ways. My dad passed away April 05 and I have dreams, cry a lot over missing him etc. This takes time, anger, fear, anxiety, sadness etc are all normal feelings.
2006-09-12 09:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by cfoxwell99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never will.
The only advice I ever give to anyone who has lost someone close to them is that it does get easier with time.
There are many things I should have said and done before my parents died and I am sure most people feel the same. Try not to be consumed by these feelings...grieve in your own way and own time but live too.
2006-09-12 09:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by Janbull 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋