My nephew asked me to be an usher at his wedding. I said sure. 2 weeks later when I went to get fitted for the tux they wanted me to wear I had to pay $110.00 that I didn't expect. Is this standard? Also my niece has to put out 170.00 for her 1 time bridesmaid dress. Should'nt these things be paid by the people getting married? I'm reluctantly doing it. I mean I now have to pay plus work at the wedding. Not much enjoyment if you ask me.
2006-09-12 02:15:55 · 19 answers · asked by Rick 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm doing it because I care and am honored. Though I don't understand the "its tradition" part of it. Its really not about the money, just the idea.
2006-09-12 02:34:39 · update #1
No, at 51 and have never been in a wedding. Mine or anyone elses.
2006-09-12 20:50:10 · update #2
It really depends on the wedding. Most of the time everyone pays for their own outfits unless the bride and groom are just extremely well off and can afford to. My advice is if you can afford it just bite your tongue and consider it an honor that they asked you to be part of their special day.
2006-09-12 03:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by nicksgirl3283 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It has become the tradition for the attendants to pay for their own clothing, shoes, and accessories. Partly due to the rising cost of weddings, it would just be too da** expensive for the couple to pay for their attendants attire. Partly because in some cases, the outfit is being bought, so the person would get to keep it after the wedding, and possibly be able to wear it again. Partly because they are honoring you with the position. They shouldn't have foot the bill unless they can afford to do so.
You should be happy that they wanted you involved in their day, and stop griping about money. If it's a hardship on you to shell out the money, talk to the bride and groom about possibly getting cheaper tux, or financial assistance from them or their parents.
I would think that you are old enough by know to understand how wedding work. A request to be in the wedding party is a big deal. The couple is telling you that they want you to be with them on one of the biggest days of their lives. They want you to be included as an important person on their big day. They are honoring you with this. I don't see why you are so upset. You might want to consider backing out and letting another man take your place. Your lack of enthusiasm might keep you from having a good time, not to mention putting a damper on the couple's wedding day happiness.
2006-09-12 03:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to pay for the tux. You can decline to be in the wedding.
This is ABSOLUTELY customary (and should be viewed by you as an honor!!). And I can't believe you'd complain about shelling out $110 for your own nephew's wedding! Haven't you ever been in a wedding? You seem a bit old to not know etiquette.
I suppose you'd like to just show up at the wedding, check out all of the pretty flowers (which I'm sure cost thousands of $$), eat all of the delicious food (which probably cost $100 per plate), and dance the night away (in the space that is rented for the night for probably a couple of thousand $$ and a DJ for several hunderd bucks more).
I suggest you stay home. You probably wouldn't have thought to give a gift.
2006-09-12 02:55:02 · answer #3 · answered by Cool-K 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That's how she goes I guess. For my sister's wedding, she paid for all the bridesmaid dresses/had her mother in law make them and paid for the material and let the ushers wear clothing they already had. But, if I would have had to pay, though I don't have a lot of money, I would have said 'yes' and never made a fuss. I'm going to my brother in law's wedding next year. It will cost us a couple thousand we're going to have to save to go but, it's about the love and the celebration and support. If you're pissed off about 110 dollars, maybe you shouldn't be an usher. It's just money, remember that.
2006-09-12 02:27:19 · answer #4 · answered by KeM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone pays for their clothes. It's completely standard and expected. It's unfortunate that they didn't tell you about this beforehand, especially because it is becoming more common for ushers to just have to wear a suit.
There is little enjoyment in participating in a wedding. It's a lot of work, effort and money. Try to focus on how happy it will make your nephew... and never agree to do it again!
2006-09-12 03:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
exciting. I continually like examining those questions via cultural ameliorations, too! short answer: No, i did not pay for my bridesmaids' dresses. for that reason, i've got additionally not at all been in a marriage the place my gown became paid for for me. such as you reported, that is merely form of an expectation that the bridesmaids/groomsmen pay for his or her very own dresses, on the grounds that's an honor to be asked to stand up for somebody on their wedding ceremony day. :) that is humorous - it not at all quite got here approximately to me that it would be any different way till i began out answering questions approximately Y!A. i don't think of there's a appropriate or incorrect. If I bride CAN locate the money for to purchase her attendants' dresses (and desires to!) it quite is her determination. I do have a challenge while human beings have the expectancy that their dresses would be paid for immediately, nevertheless. (Does that make experience?) i've got been in weddings the place i became predicted to get my hair performed with the bridal social gathering (and it became paid for) and weddings the place I paid for my own hair. i've got not at all been in a marriage the place we had makeup performed. in many circumstances, any rings/upload-ons are offered offered by ability of the bride and given to the bridesmaids as component to the presents usually given for being an attendant interior the marriage. i'm interior the U. S., if that facilitates any!
2016-10-14 22:14:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is stupid, if you can afford to get married then the people getting married should pay for everything it is their wedding…times may have changed since I got married but I'm only 40 and I still feel if it's your wedding the bride and groom should pay the whole bill. If they can't and expect others to pay for their own clothes then they shouldn't get married! How are they going to live in the real world? Come on people!
2014-01-23 03:38:01 · answer #7 · answered by Keith & Kim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pay for your own attire. It sucks, I had to buy a dress for two different weddings within a month of each other. Being a student, I am not loaded with cash. It was really hard but I made do since I was so happy for my friends and honored that they asked me to be a part of their big day.
2006-09-12 09:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by kristina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is quite customary. One of your duties is to pay for your attire in the wedding. It's a responsibility that you assume when you say that you will stand up with the couple on their wedding day. However, in return, it is sometimes customary for the couple to pay for your lodging, your flowers, as well as bestow a gift.
You may have other responsibilities as well such as ushering guests, helping with the bachelor party, escorting the ladies down the aisle, etc. to name a few.
You may be able to find more information at http://www.thegroomguide.com
2006-09-12 03:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by sheplansweddings 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bah Humbug.
It's standard for all attendants to pay for their clothes. If you don't want to, don't be a part of the wedding. In *some* cases, the B&G will pay for attendant clothing, but it is a very rare occurance in normal everyday weddings and should never be expected.
2006-09-12 05:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋