I am 21 years old, and I started my own business at 19... so i've had it for 2 years now and it's doing really well. whenever i tell guys what i do they back off and seem guarded. obviously they feel threatened... what can i do to get around that..?? im not changing my job just because guys see me as a strong independent person. and just because i am currently independent, doesnt mean i always want to be independent.
2006-09-12 01:45:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Can i add.... i don't tell people that it's my own business when they ask my job. I let them presume i work for someone else, and clear it all up down the track, and they don't seem to mind so much then. My problem is all my friends blurt it out....
2006-09-12 01:55:54 · update #1
It's a natural reaction for many men when they come face to face with a modern, independent woman. Traditionally men have been dominant and women submissive and there are some men who aren't changing with the times.
Being a male I can't speak from experience but this is something my girlfriend encounters frequently. Being an architect she's sometimes the only female and can be in charge of over 1000 men. On first contact this draws some strange and often advese reactions but is usually short lived.
There are some men who are set in their ways and refuse to believe that women can be superior or equal to them and as with anyone who is set in their ways, there is little, if anything, you can do about it.
If you enjoy what you're doing then just get on with it. It's your life to lead as you want - don't be put off by others.
2006-09-12 01:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by Trevor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you are meeting the wrong men.... I am independant.... I owned my own business which I sold this year.... I go to school full time 2 majors... I also work for an agency in CA that I have been with for quite a few years.... I own my own home that I had built last year... and as far as money, well, lets just say its not a problem.... and I cant seem to find a man who who is intimidated by this... in fact it seems more like it works the opposite for me... perhaps you should seek men who are just as independant as you are but that have the same future goals that will allow you to give up some of your independence later on....
just stay away from men with nothing they seem to latch on the hardest....
2006-09-12 10:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! There's nothing at all wrong with being a strong, independent woman such as yourself. Guys are naturally groomed to be manly (strong, masculine, hard-working, breadwinners, etc.), so for some of them it may seem like you are taking on your 'masculine side' a little too much. However, the good news is that there are other guys who see this as a big plus and are actually attracted more to women who are independent self-starters and can support themselves, so don't sweat this one out!
2006-09-12 08:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by Allyson26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man is that threatened by what you do then you don't need him. If I met a chick with her own business I would be so down with that cause she must be smart and that is always a plus. Also Depending on the business I might be excited to get invloved with her because it might be an interesting field that you work in. For the record being Indepentent is never bad. Needy chicks can be scary!
2006-09-12 09:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by Chuck C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trouble is, men are still conditioned from a very young age that they are to be the providers and breadwinners for their families. By being a successful entrepeneur, they see you as (1) competition in the business world, and (2) fear that, by providing for yourself and being successful, that you will render them superfluous.
Now, there ARE guys who won't feel threatened by that -- my wife makes twice as much money as I do; and though I sometimes feel like I'm not contributing my share, it DID give me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to stay at home to raise my son. But you may find they are few and far between. You may just need to look for a guy who's even more successful than you (who won't feel threatened), or bide your time until you meet someone who is comfortable with you taking charge of your own financial situation.
2006-09-12 08:52:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are hanging out with the wrong guys. True, some guys are intimidated by a strong, independent woman. Some guys are invigorated by the same. Hang in there girl!
2006-09-12 08:53:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jabberwock 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right about this. Don't worry, maybe you are presuming they are threatened when they are actually wondering how you did it, etc. Anyway keep up the good work and enjoy you will find a good guy.
2006-09-12 08:47:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar problem working in the family business, but organising the business and my personal life sometimes its nice to have someone to do all that stuff for you. I was lucky that one boyfriend suggested that for an entire weekend the decision making was his, tough for the first weekend, but was nice and now he knows its his job to organise our time at the weekends.
Maybe suggest to your next boyfriend, that they do something similar, it lets them feel in charge.
2006-09-12 09:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by Breeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters....if they are threatened, you as a strong woman don't want them anyways. There are strong, secure men that can love and care about a woman that is their equal. I know this, because I married one. Good luck, they show up when you least expect it..(wink)
2006-09-12 08:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Firefly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should get to know them first before you tell your life story. When you know some one then you can decide if the are threaten by your ambitions
2006-09-12 08:52:53 · answer #10 · answered by mmmkay_us 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋