I have a cousin who lives many miles away (although in the same country). I think I do quite a lot to keep in touch and I try very hard, but don't find it very much reciprocated. She emailed me photos of her previous holiday and I answered her straight back and praised the photos. However, when it was my turn to send photos of me and my family, I didn't hear a dickie bird. I try so hard with her, but it always seems to be one sided. Should I just leave her be? I keep saying how nice it is to hear from her when she does eventually make contact, but that's it - nothing happens after.
2006-09-12 00:55:07 · 32 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like she is either selfish or bad at managing her time. I'd wait a bit, see if she contacts you. It hurts to be in a one-sided thing.
PS. 'dickie bird'? Hilarious term! I think I'll use it all day today...
2006-09-12 01:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by empress_pam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a cousin EXACTLY the same way. We both have 3 yr old daughters and all I ever hear(on the rare occasion i hear from her) is how her daughter does this and that. If I mention that my daughter does something then her daughter was doing that 3 months ago. Family is hard to get along with, there is a reason we can't pick our family, just friends..lol I just stopped writing my cousin and haven;t heard anything since. If it really bothers you, stop writing her for a bit and see what happens. Good luck!
2006-09-12 01:32:26 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be yourself, don't be a hypocrite. You will eventually get tired of saying something nice when your heart thinks otherwise. Are the photos really nice or you just want to please her? Being relatives, doesn't mean you need to contact every now and then. If you hope that your effort will pay off one day, then continue to do so without expecting too much in return. If not, you will continue to be very miserable. Be happy! Take care!
2006-09-12 01:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by Tan M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep sending your emails, keep in contact - she is your family. Just because she is not as thoughtful as you does not make her a bad person. If she doesn't answer you it may be she is either busy or bad mannered. But hey, you dont have to be like that. Sometimes we expect other people (especially family) to behave they way we would, but everyone is different. It may be very important to you, she just may not feel the same, but accept the way she is, its not worth losing contact with her just because she's not the same - she is your family.
2006-09-12 11:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by angelab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always find that the harder we try the less it appears reciprocated. Next time she sends you stuff don't reply & she'll learn to keep in contact more often, because you're so reliable she'll know somethings wrong. If it doesn't work you're not missing much are you?
2006-09-12 00:58:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i was you id try one more time to get in contact maybe phone and try and get her to set a time to phone you next some people find it hard to write letters but easier to chat remember at the end of the day shes family so go on give it a try hope it sorts out for you
2006-09-12 01:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by tracy.fuller1@btinternet.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are one of lifes givers she is one of lifes takers. She lacks confidence and self esteem and needs the boost you give her when she sends something. Let go stop emailing her and she will come a running but remember only if you want her to time to take control of what you want and not her i am afraid.
2006-09-12 01:48:27 · answer #7 · answered by momof3 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may not realise.
If you say something like, I love hearing from you but when you don;t respond it makes me feel bad and as if I am expecting too much. I really want to maintain our relationship it means a lot to me. I can appreciate we both have busy lives but it matters to me. Can we talk about it?
2006-09-12 01:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by Ice Queen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My partner is in the same position. She send her family mails and pics and gets no reply. Her cousin always manages to text her to say we doing this and were doing that. I think you should not bend over backwards for them and see how they feel afterwards
2006-09-12 00:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by alismudge 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its a shame that family are like that. I have a sister, she lives in the same house as me, but yet i dont know the slightest thing about her life. Remember, you cant choose your family. Keep trying, but dont be so egar. Email every other week, she if she asks why dont you email me as often...etc...
2006-09-12 01:00:13 · answer #10 · answered by ADAM M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋