i come from a middle class family.i am a doctor & settled in life.i am married for 2 years.My wife comes from a rich and politically influencial family.we had a short period of courtship before marriage during which i explained her how important my parents are for me.she also promised to to be good with them.shortly after marriage i came to know that she is a tremendously ill tempered person.she used to get angry almost for nothing, misbehave with maid servants.she denied to stay at my home citing reason of lack of facilities.she will come to my home only for a few days in a month.many a times i also stay in her home for some days.we have 3 months old baby.one thing however i cant deny is that she madly loves me & refuses to divorce me.i cant accept the overall situation.wgat should i do?
2006-09-11 23:58:52 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You told she loves you madly but you have never mentioned that you talked to her about this problem but only she refuses to divorce. THat means you have never told her that you are really bothered about the behaviour she is having with your family , but it looks you asked her directly for divorce, and as she loves you a lot she denies for it.
My suggestion is both of you sit comfortabily sometime and you tell her her that you love your parents too the same way as you
love her. and listen to her problems patiently and try to convience her that you are really bothered about her difficulties . If you will listen to her patiently a few times i am sure she will be les stubborned in her behaviour. Both of you reach to some decesion taking into consideration about you both, and more importantly 3 month old baby of you both.
You should not think of divorce in such a hurry.Its my sincere suggestion to you..
2006-09-12 07:53:39 · answer #1 · answered by soofi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to look at the situation selfishly. By that I mean don't think, "Look at what she is doing to ME," "I hate how her attitude affects ME," etc. If you really love her, then love her. Care about her and her problems, ask her what she needs from you and how you can help, be attentive. She most likely feels like she is lacking in something which would explain why she is acting out in anger. She obviously have some things she needs to deal with. You can try to be there as much as you can for her but make sure you are more action than just words. Perhaps you guys can seek counseling or try living in the same house. If she doesn't want to live at the house, continue to stay with her at whereever she is staying. You now have a 3 month old baby together, it is important to have somewhat of a healthy relationship around him/her. She obviously cares a lot about you. That should be enough to try to stay with her and work something out.
2006-09-12 07:08:45 · answer #2 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You you are married to each other with a child. Sooo why not stop focusing so much on the jibber jabber of the high society aspect and focus on Family first...your immediate family. Something obviously brought you together or were you brought together for the wrong reasons? If what I think it is, you may be doomed and staying together, you will be miserable. Save the child from all that. Why not try living outside the situation first, but live with each other...not part time and on common ground. there has to be some kind of compromise somewhere. If not, you know what you have to do. Follow your heart, but use your head.
2006-09-12 07:14:08 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you both sell your home and get one that would be acceptable to the both of you and the child.
Get some anger managment for her.
Get some marital counseling. And have a frank disussion of what are the expetations you each have for the marriage. .
You mentioned maid severnts. This must mean you don't live in the united states?????????? if so........geesh I don't know what is workable where you live.
2006-09-12 07:13:02 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem to be one of those mama's boys. You yourself said that she madly loves you ,but have you ever asked yourself if you love her that much. I appreciate you when you say that your parents are very important to you. But have you ever cared for how important is your wife to you? When a girl gets married she has lots of dreams in her eyes. She expects that the person for whom she is leaving her parents and home will give her enough importance and place in his life. But all her dreams shatter when upon reaching her in laws place she finds that she does not get equal importance by here husband as his parents get. She doesn't expect that husband give her more importance than his parents and becomes henpecked. But she expects him to strike a balance between the two relationships. So that neither of them feel neglected. Yet when such negligence occurs she dishes out her frustrations on house maids. She tries to stay away from her beloved husband so that he realizes her place in his life , heart and home. But the husband, without even paying heed to her emotions for himself , starts blaming her for her ill temper and starts contemplating divorce....
i hope you got the answer. . .... some introspection on your part is required.
2006-09-12 11:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by golu m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do I understand correctly that you don't live together? If this is the case then you don't have a marriage except on paper. I mean it is one thing to sleep in separate beds or even in separate rooms. BUT different homes.? No marriage. Time to straighten this out or get a divorce.
2006-09-12 07:03:02 · answer #6 · answered by GRUMPY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has an anger problem I would not trust her with my baby. She doesn't sound like she knows what love is so I don't know how she can love you. She really sounds like she has a mental illness so maybe some medication would help but other than that it sounds like you and your child and your maids are in for a miserable ride.
2006-09-12 07:22:04 · answer #7 · answered by Sandra W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't divorce your wife just to please your parents! Get her into a course on Anger managment or something like that and maybe you should find out the reasons why she is so ill tempered?
In any case, your family's welfare and happiness ranks first... especially now that you two have a baby.
2006-09-12 07:11:40 · answer #8 · answered by Peter_F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a control freak.
Id be getting some marriage counselling to try and over the situation.
2006-09-12 07:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the two of you should try counseling and try to make it work. Maybe she will agree to some changes if an outside person tells her they're necessary, then you don't have to be the "bad guy".
Or get a relationship coach...
2006-09-12 07:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by drama4mama247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋