I am a s/w engineer. I want to concentrate on my career for next one year as it is a very crucial phase of my career. But my husband is forcing me to have a kid right away.He accusses me of being self oriented which is incorrect . I love to work as it gives me a sense of purpose in life. But he tries to potray me as a selfindulgent bitchy careerwoman. I love my husband very much but he doesn't understand my feelings . Things have gone so bad that if i dont go for pregnancy then my marriage will be on rocks. I dont want to get into motherhood with this mindset. Please help
2006-09-11 23:37:51 · 28 answers · asked by golu m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont get pregnant! Sounds like your marriage has many other problems that would only be compounded by a child!
2006-09-11 23:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
there are some obviously some very serious issues to be dealt with here......
1. To many couples dont discuss children prior to marriage, it can obviously make or break a relationship.
2. Nobody can force you into getting pregnant and having children.
3. You are not saying that you do not want children in the future but at the moment its not for you as you want to concentrate on your career.....
4. What would the situation be if it was reversed and you wanted the children and your husband didnt???? Would you be saying these things to him.
5. You fail to mention how old you are.
6. Is your husband jealous of your career
I think that you have to communicate with your husband on a much deeper level than you have done in the past, you have to be totally honest and open about not just the issue of children but every aspect of your relationship.... sometimes it more adult to agree to disagree and walk away then spend years wallowing in misery
2006-09-11 23:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by dee9166 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh please, you probably did not know how he replaced into like before you married him? a guy is on the fringe of retirement (if no longer his grave). If he has such various proceedings, it truly is because he's not take care of about his job and mentally can't settle for the visual attraction of golden age. although in case you get pregnant now, he will be fifty seven-fifty 8 even as the toddler is born. he's more desirable waiting to be a grandfather than being a father. A grandfather is human being who receives to interrupt the youngsters yet no longer replacing the diapers and waking up at nighttime to feed. he will ***** to no end in the course of the first 3 years of a toddler's existence. He needs the relaxing yet I assure he received't want the sweat of being a figure. commonly, a 12 365 days previous massive difference isn't all that a lot till the activities' a lengthy time period are precisely the position you're literally.
2016-11-26 19:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u are wrong dear, if u say that u love u r husband very much his desire will not or should not be a problem for u. because now u want to concentrate with u r career u thing that u have to avoid all these but not like that try both at the same time u will feel the changes and will like that changes as well. it's better to be a mother than being a s/w engineer. once if u just ignore it u might lose u r life [he might find another woman] or when u feel to be a mother then it might be too late. therefore use the time u have.motherhood is a gift of God. many women are suffering in the world.
2006-09-11 23:56:04 · answer #4 · answered by m.shahila m 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Some things are beyong human controls. Same goes to conceive for some unfortunate ladies.
Lady, you may found yourself healthy and should have no problem to conceive at anytime as you wish, but, somehow, if timing is not right by the time you feel is the right time, you may not able to conceive till years later.
I'm not telling you to sacrifice your career but hinting your marriage will be on rock if you put your career priority rather than a family. Your hubby is eagerly to be daddy, perhaps he feels its time to form a generation. Of course, the way he is forcing you is absolutely wrong coz both of you need to co-operate and not forcing each other. Have a talk with him, tell him what's your plan and give him a time frame to be parenthood.
Let things take its nature course, you will be happier and there might be a miracle.
2006-09-12 01:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by Adorable Mrs 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i guess u need to talk to ur husband...explain him that u also like kids but for some times let u work....one more thing dear my case was some what the same....but my husband dint forced me...but i am in a place where i was not able to abort the baby....& i just dont wanted to be a mother....in that situation i have no other option ..so i acepted whatever is the truth...i also use to think i may not love the baby or something like that....but belive me dear.....after 6 month of my pregnancy i started liking my baby a lot...now i have a very pretty baby boy.....& he is so cute......
2006-09-11 23:59:52 · answer #6 · answered by sonu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you certainly shouldn't have a baby if you don't want one!! That is a major life change! Tell your husband to respect your wishes or divorce you. If he loved you, he wouldn't be "forcing" you to have a child. If you don't want children at all, that should have been discussed long before marriage. But if you just want to wait, there shouldn't be a problem with that.
2006-09-12 00:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is best for you...sometimes a kid isnt the best answer.
the child wont fix the marriage. May complicate or mask other issues. Get help. I respect you for your career choice and your husband should too,,, Hope everything works out for you
2006-09-12 00:56:27 · answer #8 · answered by TL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try to talk it out with your husband and convince him by telling him the pros and cons of having a baby at the moment? Use your charms just like the time when you were just newly married. Your husband might give in to you. Good luck!
2006-09-11 23:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by cehLina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to make him understand your point - take help from some other close friends / relatives whom both of you trust - otherwise request some gynae to come out with some medical excuse for you avoiding pregnancy for the next one year to convince your hubby !
2006-09-15 01:39:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there !
Maybe ..
Like the Indo-Pakistan meeting..
like the israel-lebanon meeting..
like the Saudi - US meeting..
like the Iraq - US high level meeting..
Have a vocation with your husband to a health resort ..and have a open minded discussion...
I am sure..it will work wonders..
After all..no problems are without solutions..
Best wishes ..
2006-09-12 00:15:49 · answer #11 · answered by suresh k 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋