My new man has 2 children that his ex has totally turned against him.
He has to fight for every visit and is now going through court to get more visitation. The kids dont even want to come anymore and when they get there , his 6 year old daughter says ..."daddy is a looser", amoungst other things. Its just getting worse and worse.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
2006-09-11 22:33:10 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand what you're going through. My husband has two kids from his previous marriage, ages 6 and 11. Our 6 year old we don't have any problems with, in fact, she's definitely a daddy's girl! Our 11 year old, on the other hand, believes everything mummy tells him and he makes our lives a living hell when he's with us.
All you and your partner can do is continue to love the kids and try to show them that you love and care for them as much as possible. I know it probably kills you to see the way it hurts your partner (I know it does me) but all you can do is your best and hopefully the kids will grow up to see the light. Just don't give up even though I know it seems like it would be the best thing for the kids. In the long run, it won't be. I fyou give up, you'll be validating the negative image their mother has obviously helped to form.
Good luck!
2006-09-11 22:42:37 · answer #1 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah I have a suggestion, take the children to a child pyschiatrist and be willing to do family therapy, obviously the ex-wife is downing "daddy", which can damage the children, and then next time you go to court bring the pyschiatrist on your behalf. Most judges are against the slander from one parent to another. They'll look at the mother as having issues of her own and maybe even question whether its a healthy enviroment for the children to stay with her.
2006-09-11 22:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by Charmed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is looser because of the decision which he made in the past.
His Ex is angry and jealous of you. Good lack in the court but this is not gonna change the lessons which the kids are getting from Mom. If he never give up fight to see own kids more off-en that's the only way to have chance for better and not blame himself - I did nothing to keep they harts with me.
2006-09-11 22:42:08 · answer #3 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those kids are just honest to show to their daddy that they ddidn't like what's going on with their lives right now. They felt betrayed. And the 6 year old shows no respect because of the situation. As for you and your new man, you have to take responsibility for your actions to win their hearts. Did both of you ever ask the kids why they acted that way? The reflections you got were actually the reflections of the heart of these kids. Love begets love. Respect begets respect.
2006-09-11 22:49:11 · answer #4 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure the courts know what kind of venom she is feeding them. Continue the visits and make sure the kids are in some kind of therapy to help them deal with what is going on and the conflicted feeling they must be having with the natural love they feel for ther father and the hate the mother obviously has and is passing on.
2006-09-11 22:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by uclmr@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look for the source
women who get into relationship with man that have children always think that they know everything
his x is wrong for telling the children about thing like that
because whether or not it true it is not the child business
as for you since their is a lot you don't know about their relationship butt out
be nice to the children when they are around, when the 6 year old say something that you might think is inappropriate ask her why she say things like that because it hurt daddy when she does
in talking to her you might just find out a few think about the good father and the horrid mother (because since your relationship is so new you still think that he is all that ) open your eye before you make judgment
2006-09-11 22:57:25 · answer #6 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time can heal this rift. I had the same problem and ensured that I met all my obligations. You can only do your best and allow your efforts to speak for themselves. Eventually, the kids will know enough to not be fooled. One other option, and the hardest one, perhaps some time off from the kids.
2006-09-11 22:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by Addaski 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
their mother is poisoning there minds I would write everything down that the child is saying and then tell his solicitor what is going on and let him(solicitor) deal with it in court.
2006-09-11 22:38:16 · answer #8 · answered by wizardalli 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-09-11 22:37:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋