2006-09-11 21:30:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You simply continue with your life. you know you can't change who you are - so there's no point in lying about it. If your family is unable to come to terms with it then you have to decide whether they are to remain in central in your life.
A harsh decision to have to make...
My very best wishes to you, going forward.
2006-09-11 21:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say much about your age, your living situtation, and how your family actually treats you. You can't stop being gay. You may have chosen the wrong point in your life to come out to your family, but that's done and over with, so you have to move on. Be the best person you can be. Respect yourself as you are respecting others. This means while you are gay, you're not promiscuous. This means that if it really brings up issues, you don't talk about it at the dinner table. On the other hand, you excuse yourself from dinner when you need to talk to people who will listen.
By setting a good example of behavior, you can show them that you can be a good person and still be gay. And you'll also show them that other than who you love, you are really not that different than they are. Some people don't want to understand. You won't change them. You can love your family, and still know that for this one reason, you are somewhat separated from them. But if you are young and dependent on your family for financial (housing, food, education) support, and moral support, you probably need to bite your tongue once in a while and not engage in arguments about your sexual orientation. (I am what I am, and I'm sorry if that disturbs you, but I'll still be what I am tomorrow). Let it be their issue, and not yours.
2006-09-12 10:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by michael941260 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can feel the pain you are experiencing. Unfortunately you can only try to calm your parents by not flaunting your sexual preference in their presence. Your future is more important at this time. Most parents come around to accepting what they perceive to be a problem. There is an organization that would help them if you could get them to try. It's called PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and they really help parents who have a problem understanding or accepting their gay child. Below is a quote from my website that you and other young gays and lesbians may find helpful.
Good luck love!
QUESTION: When is the right time to "Come Out"?
Obviously, there is no laid down age to come out. It depends on far too many factors. Generally speaking, I am thrilled to see more and more young gays in their early teens who are strong enough to come out to their families and friends. However, not all should attempt it at an early age. If a gay boy or girl strongly feels that coming out will completely estrange them from their parents and might lead to the possibility of being thrown out of the house, obviously, good sense should prevail. Wait until you are self-sufficient and capable of finishing your education and fulfilling your dreams. (Don't cut off your nose to save your face!) Besides, perhaps by waiting a few years, your parents will eventually suspect anyway, (especially your mother) and they will become more open to accepting the fact.
2006-09-12 08:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by roqofages 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before everyone starts yelling at you again, i'm going to repost my last answer again on your new question. You can't just stop being gay, but you can go back in the closet...pretending you're someone you aren't, which sucks terribly but is sometimes more than necessary. I used to be in the same situation. I came out in High School and my parents pulled me out of school, my dad hit me a lot (he's a minister, how godly of him), they took everything out of my room except the mattress to my bed and my alarm clock, put me through ex-gay therapy, and then we moved to a different state so i could "start over." I didn't turn straight again, but i did go back into the closet untill i made it to college and got my own place. I came out to a very select few people in HS because i wanted to be myself but not have it get back around to my parents so i wouldn't have to go though all that again. So no, don't stop being gay, but if you feel the need to hide if from them long enough for you to get out...then do it. If that isn't going to work tell them to go fu*k themselves and do everything in your power to faunt your sexuality and piss them off. Good luck...
2006-09-12 04:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by dj_lee16 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You never mentioned your age. If you aren't old enough to be on your own keep it quiet until you are. If you are, as negative as it may sound, you don't need anyone in your life that drags you down for being who you are. I've gone thru that in about the first 3 weeks after I "came out" way back when. When they saw I was serious and was willing to pick up and move on with my life without them, they came around.
2006-09-12 07:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you on your own or at home?
If you are at home you will just have to tough it out until you are on your own. It might have been better for you to have waited until you were on your own before telling your family. I'd just try and get on your own as soon as possible.
If you are on your own, just stick to your being how you are and don't accept any negative comments they give you. See some gay films, read some coming out stories, read up on gay issues. Be a more informed person. Love your family, but tune them out if they will not accept you. Surround your self with positive people.
2006-09-12 08:28:51 · answer #6 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even bring the subject up anymore. If they want to talk to you about it, get on the offensive and say "I've said all that I need to about it, unless you are going to ask mature questions." This may sound a bit corny, but it will put them in their place and earn some respect.
2006-09-12 04:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by closetcoon_fan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I thought I was gay once, but found lots of loving girls, and enjoyed their love. So its possible that Gayness is a phase we go thru, or maybe not. I have known gays who couldn't consumate their marriage because they couldn't get excited, so try a tryst with a pretty girl, if she doesn't get you excited, then you should find a mate who can be faithful to you, because your tribulations are the same as straight peoples. Too much sex is unhealthy. lol Oh and forget about your family they are the least of your worries.
2006-09-12 05:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by Marcus R. 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If they cant accept you then you dont need them in your life. You didnt choose to be gay. If they truly loved you they would love you no matter if you were gay or not. You dont deserve to be treated like crap becuase of something you were born with. There are people who will love you and accept you no matter what. Find them. Its your familys loss.
2006-09-12 04:34:24 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you don't do anything it is there problem you are you and they will learn to not judge you in there own time that is your family and now matter what they will always love you. it might take time and you have to be strong but don't give up
2006-09-13 09:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by Dee H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋